This is my first post so bare with me I am trying to figure all of this out lol I am on day 66 which I am really proud of. My breathing has became much better. But it seems I am depressed a lot more. I don't understand it. I think back and it seems when I was smoking I was so much happier but I know in my heart that isn't true. I was worried about getting copd and emphysema like my father and gasping for breath like he did plus being on oxygen.
I feel like I am also very anti social with a close family member now and that really bothers me. Her and I would always go out back and have a cig together so now I have been kind of avoiding her. Its almost like I am envious that she is still smoking and I am not and just saying that or shall I say typing it makes me feel tremendously guilty and foolish. I guess you could say I had already had feelings of envy of her as she has so many adult children and I have one. I lost my other child. So now I feel really guilty for having all these feelings and its making me very depressed. I mean I really do care alot about her and I miss our spending time together but it just doesn't seem the same now. Sigh Did I mention I am a pro at over thinking? lol Thanks for taking the time to read this