I didn't take my nicotine lozenges this weekend. I didn't make my daily commitment not to smoke either. I just tried to outlast the withdrawal cravings using willpower. I ended up smoking.
I am not smoking now.
I am committed to using the nicotine replacement. It is better than smoking. Something in me makes me feel like a failure if I am not nicotine-free, but the reality is I am not willing to pay the price to be nicotine-free: experiencing nicotine withdrawal. I accept that for now I am on nicotine replacement. I'll deal with getting off nicotine replacement later. This time I rushed it, wasn't ready.