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Day 2 as an Ex

Tabbiekat
Member
3 5 89

I am still in shock that I did it, have no reservations about it and am feeling good emotionally about it.

Had to take my dog in to get her nails trimmed this morning and it would be the first time driving since I did not have to drive anywhere yesterday. Yesterday, when I decided I was done I did go and clear out my stash from the truck so I knew I would not have any quick and easy temptations today (8 places I could have stopped and bought a pack within the route I drove). It was truly a non issue too. I got in my truck, it wouldn't start (dang gremlin keeps draining the battery) not a big issue (as I told my husband while grumbling about it), pulled the charger out, jumped it and hubby came out and put the charger away so I could head to the vet's office. Knowing I needed to drive around a bit I went the long way and only stalled 3 times. Normally a 4-5 cigarette trip and I did not give it a second thought. Had to pay a bill after the going to the vet's office so driving the the pay place, construction closed the street, rerouted, construction had two spots blocked off near the entrance and due to having dog in truck did not want to be that far from her so I just came home.

Mom stopped by, has her cardiologist and surgeon discussing timeline, but looks like she will be having another bi-pass sooner vs later. She is doing good, just gets winded quickly (she hates that). She is still smoking, but cutting down, even her cardiologist said at this point he really wants her to quit, but not if quitting will stress her out/raise her blood pressure. She knows I did quit and hubby is still planning to on the 30th. She said the hardest is giving up the cig and coffee while sitting on the deck before dawn. I suggested a few things I have learned from this site about changing up her routine, even a bit can make a huge difference. I told her for me just letting myself know I was quitting was a huge step to making the routine changes a bit easier. I was walking her to her car and she lit up and took a few puffs, the smell of it did not phase me.

I then went back out to pay my bill and stop by the pharmacy. I have a butt bucket that sits in my cup holder in the truck. I did empty it yesterday, but so it is not forgotten when my husband gets in the truck I just left it. It was not until I was getting into the truck after stopping at the pharmacy that I got a whiff of a disgusting smell as I got back into my truck. I knew exactly the cause, I knew I could have come home and wash it, but no, it will be my reminder until my husband quits and at that time I will wash it and while I will keep it in the storage bin of the truck, it will be out of the front seat cup holder

It's just now noon and I know based on all the driving and detours I did it would have been a half a pack gone since I got up kinda day. I did think about it, I did suck on a couple breath mints, I did pick up a pen while driving. All n all not  a bad morning.

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About the Author
I quit smoking Oct 31st 2017. It was hard, I had rough moments, but even with my husband and roommate smoking I kept from smoking since I decided to do it for me. Aug 7th 2018 my husband quit smoking. September 18 my world was turned upside down as my husband died in front of me. February 19, 2019 I quit..it took a few tries after my husband passed, but I am no longer a smoker.