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Increased unwanted thoughts

Question asked by MichelleDiane on Jan 4, 2018
Latest reply on Jan 5, 2018 by elvan

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Hello All.

I'm into my fourth day and am very glad, but I am unsettled by increased thoughts of smoking. I'm using everything I can think of including staying close to this site. I redirect my thoughts to good memories as well as envisioning my body healing and saying "thank you Michelle". Any words of wisdom and suggestions are appreciated at this time. I know I sound insane, but I'm glad we are having a snow storm. It will help me to stay quit as I do not want to venture out in this, but I think that is not good thinking. Thanks in advance for the help.

Regards,

Michelle

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Deb-EX Jan 4, 2018 8:48 AM
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Hi!! You took one of the most important steps and that is reaching out to the group!!! Your thoughts are NOT insane at all, they are completely normal. I am new myself 53 Days today. I do use the patch, but those thoughts were there. My suggestions and what helped me would be to keep busy....read, read and read some more.. all the blogs/comments on this site really helped me in my first week and still up until today. Since your in a snow storm, take a nice hot bath or shower! Play MUSIC, dance. I guess the idea is to replace the thoughts, for me music really helped and before I knew it the thoughts / craving passed.

Stay close to the sight.. You will have so many great people comment back to you soon.. The experts!! Hang in there and be proud of yourself.
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JACKIE1-25-15 Jan 4, 2018 9:28 AM
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You will have thoughts of smoking. How many years have you been telling yourself that you needed a cigarette? Those thoughts do not go away in 4 days. It takes time. The best thought is to know that those thoughts will not be there forever. So tell yourself. No I do not need a cigarette. "I don't do that anymore", I am a non smoker, I do not need a cigarette. It is a matter of reprogramming the brain. You can do this. Just because I think of something does not mean I have to act upon it. It can be very annoying but know that it will pass. Hold on to that thought...."this too shall pass" and it will. You have to go through it in order to get to. It is not easy but doable. Hang tough, stay close, be mindful do not give up on your quit.
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Marilyn.H.July.14.14. Jan 4, 2018 1:22 PM
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You can and are doing this quit one precious Smokefree Day at a time or hour, minute or even one second at a time as long as you keep moving then you'll continue stacking up your precious Days WON, deep breaths and chin up because you can get through the rough patches and we're all here to help you through and congratulations on your your three days WON already when this evening arrives and you're getting ready for bed you can look yourself in the mirror and smile and say yay for another Day WON.....
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crazymama_Lori Jan 4, 2018 9:37 AM
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You are relearning life as a nonsmoker. I know in my case it amazed me how automatic it had become just lighting up. My ah-ah moment, well, I had many of them and still do, is when I was about 2 months into my quit and I was stressed over something and just automatically reached for the phantom pack and stopped and said out loud whoa, I don't do that anymore. but it being such a conditioned response, made me stop and make notice of the times when the "thought" swirled around and did a specific act in place of smoking. So when I'm stressed, I roll carmex between my fingers or simply rub my fingers together until it passes and it does. Deep breathing helps a great deal. there's a boatload of videos on YouTube about that. But you'll notice those craves come in hard, but they do eventually pass. They always told me it would be easier. I was skeptical two years ago. Now, I'm living proof that it can be done. You are living proof that it can be done !!!!!
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ampan75 Jan 4, 2018 9:39 AM
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thoughts will come and go. so need not bother about them. all thoughts do not realise. so don't fear them. just laugh at such thoughts. they will vanish soon.
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rollercoaster831 Jan 4, 2018 9:41 AM
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You did one of the best things which is come here and let us know what is going on so we can help. I agree with Jackie...these thoughts will not leave in 4 days. You need to give yourself time. Thinking about smoking or not smoking is not a bad thing per se, but acting on a smoking thought is a poor choice in my opinion. Besides...who wants to do Day One all over again!

One step and then another will get you to where you want to be - Larry, the Caravan Master OldBones-Larry

Practice square breathing - take a breath in for a count of 4, hold it or 4, and let it out for a count of 2. Repeat a few times. That helped me a lot in those first few weeks.

You are on your way to stacking those days and before you know it, you will git the double digit club and then the triple digit club and then look back and be in amazement at how many DOF you really have.

I know you have extra time since you are not smoking. Do something with that extra time! Is there something you said you can't do because you have no time? Now you do! Pick up a book and read! Alan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking is a great choice! Read blogs on this site! Pick an ELDER'S LIST and go read blogs!

You've got this!
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MichelleDiane Jan 4, 2018 10:06 AM
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Thank you Deb-EX, Jackie 1-25-15, Marilyn.H.July 14,14., Crazymama_Lori, Ampan 75, rollercoaster831, and everyone else who has helped me. I have spent this morning resting, taking a shower, giving my teeth a good brushing, knitting, coming to the site, drying my hair, coming to the site, coming to the site, coming to the site, and am now getting ready to take down my holiday decorations (inside of course due to the blizzard). Doing all I can do even talking to myself. I am sure I will be coming back to the ex-community often throughout today and the day after, and the day after that, etc.
Warm wishes,
Michelle
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- maryfreecig @ MichelleDiane on Jan 4, 2018 11:31 AM
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  I'm in NH and on storm watch too! Drama in real time.
  The smoking thoughts fade away so keep doing everything that has already worked for you, and collect some new tools too. (If you are able to zone out on TV, nothing wrong with that)
  Yes you can, one day at a time.
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Youngatheart.7.4.12 Jan 4, 2018 10:15 AM
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Of COURSE you are thinking abut smoking. Everything you did for a very long time involved it. Finish a task? Have a cigarette! Finish a meal? Have a cigarette! Have an upsetting conversation/phone call? Have a cigarette! Celebrate? Have a cigarette! Sad? Have a cigarette! Lonesome? Have a cigarette! Angry? Have a cigarette!
The psychological part of this addiction is more entrenched than the physical, and takes the most time and effort to overcome.
So - how do you do that? You change your mind's direction. You find new things to do in those moments. You can take slow/deep breaths. You can go for a quick walk, or do a few jumping jacks, or march in place. Eat your meals and drink your coffee in different places. Play a computer game when you re bored. Find a new hobby - you have extra time and money now that you aren't smoking! Keep a book handy. Call a friend.
A thought of smoking never killed anyone - you can't say that about smoking!
Nancy
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- MichelleDiane @ Youngatheart.7.4.12 on Jan 4, 2018 10:50 AM
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  Thanks Nancy. Your last comment was 100% correct. I'm jumping from cleaning the house back to this site. Still some thoughts, but I am working through them.
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  - Youngatheart.7.4.12 @ MichelleDiane on Jan 4, 2018 10:51 AM
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    You GOT this! Carry on!
    Nancy
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- rollercoaster831 @ Youngatheart.7.4.12 on Jan 4, 2018 11:01 AM
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  Brilliant!!!
  
  A thought of smoking never killed anyone - you can't say that about smoking!
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crazymama_Lori Jan 4, 2018 11:07 AM
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also check out Best of EX, Newbie Quitters for some EXcellent reading material !!!! Also UNDERSTANDING EXCUSES, These were and still are my go-to bookmarks 600 days later, which contain my most influential articles written by the great people on this site
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elvan Jan 4, 2018 12:12 PM
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Time...it takes TIME. No crave ever killed anyone and thoughts have no power...YOU have the power to act or not act on them...YOU. I said NOPE over and over and over again, Not One Puff Ever. I remember thinking that I would never stop thinking about smoking, it consumed my every thought. It was my addiction yelling at me, calling me back...trying to convince me that I could not go on without it. I don't think you are crazy for being happy that there is a snow storm. I quit during a polar vortex, never heard of it until then but I KNEW I was not going out in that, no matter what. I does get easier and eventually the thoughts and craves become memories and once you make new associations with everyday activities and even things that are hard to plan for...you will find that you are becoming stronger and stronger and stronger. This is a journey and it is filled with ups and downs, good days and bad days...life is like that and we do not need to anesthetize ourselves to all feelings.
Ellen
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desiree465 Jan 4, 2018 1:15 PM
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I'm right there with you. Thinking about smoking comes in these waves it's awful but being on this site and reading everyone else's thoughts really really helps. I've been keeping my laptop close to me the last couple of days and I will read through some posts or reply to others when those thoughts hit.
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- elvan @ desiree465 on Jan 4, 2018 7:33 PM
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  desiree465 We have all been where you are, there are no shortcuts to being free and the only way out is through...one step at a time and baby steps count...one day at a time and when a day is too long, make it an hour. Staying close to the site and reading, commenting, blogging, connecting...will save your quit. If you do the reading and get the education you need to have about nicotine addiction...all you have to bring to the site is your commitment and it will give you support, advice, and people who know EXACTLY what you are going through. I don't think any of us forgot that and that's a GOOD thing...it keeps us going forward and not going back, it is worth every minute of discomfort...somehow that seems like an understatement in terms of describing the beginning of a quit. I used the mantra NOPE, Not One Puff Ever and I said it over and over again. You CAN do this, we all want very much for you to be successful.
  
  Welcome to EX.
  Ellen
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  - desiree465 @ elvan on Jan 5, 2018 12:48 PM
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    I made it through day 3! Working on day 4 today. Being on here really does help.
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    - MichelleDiane @ desiree465 on Jan 5, 2018 12:59 PM
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      Congratulations on day 3 WON.
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    - Youngatheart.7.4.12 @ desiree465 on Jan 5, 2018 2:48 PM
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      And we are glad you are here! You are one of the reasons those of us who have been successful hang around. Your success brings us such happiness!
      Nancy
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Madmax77 Jan 4, 2018 4:16 PM
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I hold my breath for 5 seconds and it seems to work but your gonna go through a lot of baby steps before you can walk if you’re taking meds that will help just don’t think of a cigarette as a reward think about a the chemicals that’s in them stuff is nasty well good luck and enjoy not smoking
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MichelleDiane Jan 4, 2018 8:14 PM
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To all,
I am having a rough day and evening. I think I figured out why, but that is not helping. We have been in all day due to the blizzard. I kept myself busy doing what I planned. I put the holiday decorations away and dusted. I was very happy and did not really think about smoking. I took a nap and treated myself to a bowl of Lucky Charms (I usually only eat Raisin Bran or Cheerios). It was in the early evening as I came into the kitchen to prepare dinner that I wanted to cry. This overwhelming feeling came over me. I was angry, sad, and scared at the same time. I put a stick of gum in my mouth and drank a bottle of water. Still the feeling persisted. After dinner I went down to my office (also my alone time room) and did some knitting. I found myself having running commentary in my head. Everything, yet nothing was makings sense until I went back up to clean the kitchen. I think that being in the kitchen so close to the outside set bells off. Not sure why I felt like crying, but I did feel that way. I actually meant to ask a question also. Can someone go into what is meant by "don't fight the feeling"? I've heard it mentioned several times and maybe that's what I was doing. Thanks in advance.
-Michelle
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- elvan @ MichelleDiane on Jan 4, 2018 8:42 PM
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  MichelleDiane We all went through what you are experiencing...please remember that you are feeling feelings that you had been stuffing down because you were smoking. Feelings are normal and there is nothing wrong with crying...it is a release of pent up emotions. It is okay to be sad, angry, depressed, any emotion you can think of...we just have to get used to allowing those feelings to exist. When we fight our feelings or our craves...we are giving them power. We need to recognize that they are there and that they will go away whether we smoke or not...I didn't believe that at first but it's true. When we fight them, we make them more powerful and we exhaust ourselves. Craves and triggers are going to be around for a while...QUITE a while but each time one passes and you don't act on it, you get stronger and they get weaker. You begin to make new associations with those craves or triggers. No crave ever killed anyone but no one can say that about smoking. One feeling at a time, one experience at a time...maybe you could go outside for about five seconds and take a breath and thank God that you don't have to be out there smoking. You really do not have to act on thoughts...I cried a LOT at the beginning and even a ways in, I was letting off steam, I was learning that it was okay to FEEL. Let your craves wash over you...some will come like little waves with no power and then a tsunami will hit, you can remain standing! You are doing this, growing pains are normal.
  Ellen
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  - MichelleDiane @ elvan on Jan 4, 2018 8:52 PM
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    Thank you Ellen.
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    - elvan @ MichelleDiane on Jan 4, 2018 9:05 PM
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      You are DOING this, my friend. One day at a time helps you to grow along with your quit. I am really happy for you.
      Ellen
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- elvan @ MichelleDiane on Jan 4, 2018 8:43 PM
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  Coming here and blogging is the best thing you can do for yourself...you are strengthening your quit. You are allowing yourself to feel and allowing us to support you.
  Ellen
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KMC56 Jan 4, 2018 10:47 PM
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I thought my mind would just combust with constant craves...and I would/could possibly go mad! I did keep a journal..and found myself either keeping extremely busy..or just sat frozen in a constant state of crave. (Weird bi polar state) I just keppt plugging along..and trusting the elders on this site, and I was in good company with at least 3 or 4 individuals with close quit dates as mine, that were in the same struggling boat as I was..and they all happen to be in the 6% club!!! I'm competitive by nature, and really wanted to get to 365 DOF..and see how I really felt...here I am over 620 DOF! I can't tell you when my new normal came into light...but at this stage of being an ex/non smoker, no way do I want to go back to day 1.
I'd been a smoker for over 40 years, and just learned recently, that it was just as difficult to quit at one year of smoking as it would be of a 40 year addiction.
Stay close to this site..it's an amazing support group...tag up withnsoneonw who is close with you on quit dat. Keep it one successful day at a time!
~Kathy
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- MichelleDiane @ KMC56 on Jan 5, 2018 7:07 AM
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  Thanks for your help Kathy. I appreciate your words and encouragement.
  -Michelle
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  - elvan @ MichelleDiane on Jan 5, 2018 10:58 AM
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    DO listen to Kathy...we ALL were there, I remember thinking that I would never be able to STOP thinking about smoking, I was completely obsessed with those thoughts and then...my husband made the suggestion that I get down on my knees and pray for the mental obsession to be removed. He has been in recovery from alcoholism for over 33 years and he said that when he did that, he felt things change. He also quit smoking over 28 years ago. I wasn't really keen on getting down on my knees since I wasn't sure I would be able to get back up but I DID it. I can't say that I felt an immediate release from the obsession but I DID feel a change. I said the word NOPE, Not One Puff Ever...over and over and over again. I said "I don't do that any more.", I said the Serenity Prayer, I paid attention to any and every suggestion that was given and I am pretty sure that I drove other people crazy. All I talked about was EX...all I talked about was the support I was getting and how this quit was "different." I so wanted to call if my "Forever Quit" because I kept reading other posts by members referring to their quits that way...I wondered...How do they KNOW? I did know that I wanted to stay quit a whole lot more than I wanted to smoke. I read everything there was to read, I posted, I commented, I spent as much time as I possibly could on this site and it brought me through. I cannot remember how many days I had before I realized I had gone through a particularly challenging time at work and I had not even THOUGHT of a cigarette. I CAN tell you that once that happened I KNEW that this was possible. I KNEW that there would come a time when I could say this is MY Forever Quit so here I am...this is my Forever Quit. You are in the beginning of a really magical journey and you will be astounded at all that it gives you. I learned so much about myself and I realized how much smoking had stunted my emotional growth. Hang in there, it DOES get easier.
    Ellen
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    - MichelleDiane @ elvan on Jan 5, 2018 11:21 AM
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      I'm hanging. Staying close to this site and tackling inside projects. Have a piece of gum in my mouth and a water bottle next to me. I know a person's recovery (AA or other recovery group) is only their's to disclose, but I relate to your post in that my husband has been sober for 30 years and gets on his knees to pray as well. He is proud of my quit and encourages me. I think I will get down on my knees and give it a try. If I can't get up I know you and the others will help me (well at least in encouragement, but physically I will need to do it myself in many regards). Thanks Ellen.
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      - elvan @ MichelleDiane on Jan 5, 2018 11:41 AM
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        LEAN on something...I used the bed so I could pull myself up. The AA program has really helped me from the beginning, I was active in Alanon for a long time and I felt like it was the most amazing place filled with the most amazing people, they really pulled me through.
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elvan Jan 5, 2018 6:41 PM
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So proud of you and remember we are here for you to lean on as well...in the event that it becomes overwhelming, come to the site and blog, entitle your blog HELP. Someone will see it and help you to get through. There is NOTHING worth smoking over...NOTHING. It won't do anything FOR you.
Ellen
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- MichelleDiane @ elvan on Jan 5, 2018 9:30 PM
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  Thanks Ellen. I can't believe it is almost another day won. After the car ride this morning I only had momentary thoughts of cigarettes. I did find myself not really wanting any. I'm not going to read into it. I will look at it as a positive day in my journey. Your support and encouragement are really helping. Thank you.
  Regards,
  Michelle
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  - elvan @ MichelleDiane on Jan 5, 2018 10:08 PM
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    You are SO WELCOME. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me. You are ROCKIN' this quit! Keep going, one day at a time...WINNING!
    Ellen
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