I got the email that they're migrating all of the old "wall" stuff and logged in to see what that was about. Didn't find much on it, but I read some old blogs and thought wow, I haven't blogged for a while -- so here's what's happening.
As many of you know, I retired in June, and in August moved to the outskirts of Richmond to be near my daughter and her family. They live 5 minutes away and it's great. In January I started a part-time job with the most old-fashioned attorney in Richmond, who still uses a Dictaphone. Now, for any of you who are under 50, that may mean nothing to you. Before I went to law school I was a legal secretary, and back in the 70's, that's what attorney's did. They dictated letters and legal documents onto cassette tapes, and those tapes would be transcribed by the secretaries. You controlled the tape with a foot pedal. So that's what I do for this lawyer. I work 4 days a week, 5 hours a day. Now that I'm retired, I don't want to be in charge of anything! But it gets me out of the house and more importantly, it provides a supplement to my Social Security.
But the interesting thing is I have had more thoughts about smoking since I moved here. One reason may be because my daughter still smokes. Another reason is that I'm dealing with new situations, living in a new place, having different stressors. I had an appointment with my pulmonologist on Monday, and I told her that even though I've thought more about smoking recently than I have over the last three years, I will NEVER smoke a cigarette. I know now that smoking doesn't give you anything. I wouldn't even call what's happening craves, because I don't actually want to smoke (I have enough trouble breathing as it is, and when I actually think about the experience of inhaling smoke into my lungs it hurts just to think about it!!)
Now, one might think why would a long-time, happy quitter get on this site to talk about thinking about smoking? Aren't we supposed to get to a place where we never think about smoking? Well, maybe some people actually do. But I suspect I'm not alone when I say I occasionally hear the little addicted lady who lives in my brain say "have one; you'll feel better" even though I know to an absolute certainty that I would NOT feel better and indeed would feel way worse. And I'm of the school that believes if you have a puff you start at Day One again.
I have demonized smoking as much as anyone who quits for good, so I'm not saying I wish I smoked. At all. I'm just saying new challenges sometimes cause those thoughts to arise. The good news is "have one, you'll feel better" is NEVER true!!
Can't wait to see folks at EX in May!!
