Was so tied to the few cigs a day. Life revolved around it and it truly seemed i wouldnt let it go, ever. Everyone crossed to the other side but for me.
Had drinks with a friend who reminds me of my mother sometimes(who left us yrs ago) Something clicked in what my friend said. how we related that night.
I simply went home and it was done. Over. The stop for loosies at the bodega on the way home- done. The walking around my streets the next morning to bum one or buy a pack- didnt need it. I hadnt set a new date. it just arrived on its own.
Im not jonesing in the studio really. All is the same but without the gross cancer pull.
Before teaching 1/2cig- absent. The after class 1/2 cig caput. Each threshold passed is starting a new habit of possibility.
I will get tense and will pass someone smoking and hope i can stay strong. Wanting to on the inside but staying strong on the outside- this is true bravery. NOPE.
This community is amazing- all of you out there are amazingly supportive and loving. Virtual yet real.
Each new day is a blessing.