Im a new quitter! Had a slip with two smokes. Do I need to set a new quit date due to “slippage”?
Ok, jlp5564 ... this will sound harsh, but it is honest and from my heart that cares that you quit smoking permanently...
What did you slip on? A banana peel? Black ice? Newly waxed floors?
If none of the above, it wasn't a slip. It was a deliberate act of throwing away your quit. It took several conscious and deliberate steps to find a cigarette, put it in your mouth, find a lighter, light it, and inhale the smoke. You did it not once but twice.
Part of overcoming addiction is self-honesty. Words like "slip" or "ooopsie" or "no big deal" or "only two puffs/cigarettes/packs/cartons" minimize and trivialize the importance of NOT smoking, and the effort it takes to NOT do something. NOPE means "not one puff ever", it doesn't mean "not one puff, except (for those two, etc. etc.)"
Yes, your quit date needs to be honest and therefore reset, IMO. That said, It is YOUR quit tool, so its just my opinion that sure you had a nice trial quit but it isn't a quit. You smoked. Your ticker should reflect NOT smoking. You can't smoke and be quit at the same time. There just aren't any loopholes. This is life and death.
Again, I'm sorry to be harsh. Please take what helps you learn from this experience, and leave the rest.
No one has the right answer but the author, of this topic!jlp5564 You do what is right for you.
There is no one here better than another. We are all addicts, for the rest of our lives!!
Kudos for honesty!
Thank you for sharing.Hugs Kim
Sent from my iPhone
I absolutely love your “harsh”, honest reply. Thank you.
Definitely some tough love, but didn't you laugh about the banana peel??? That was quite good. Reset your date jlp5564. Forgive yourself and move it along. You CAN do this. Just remember if you give into the Nicodemon, you bring it back to life. It gets better the longer you tell it no and discover that you are WAY more powerful than you ever knew!
Thank you, Thomas! I did laugh at banana peel! Very creative! I sincerely appreciated the tough love!
I'm so glad you took it in the spirit intended, jlp5564 ! I do try to slip a little humor in when I can, but I am also really concerned that people quit and stay quit, and I know how very difficult it is. I spent too many years "slipping" and smoking and now I'm recovering from lung cancer and severely limited by COPD ...
I don't know you're age, but no matter your age, it is better for you to quit now and stay quit, than wait until later.
It is way easier to hold on to whatever quit you have going, than it is to start a new one. Keep that in mind when urges/cravings wear on your last nerve, as they can and will in the upcoming short term.
Best to you going forward.
And don't make me bring out the DIY Tough Love video instruction!
Unfortunately EX is telling me that video service is currently unavailable, but that link will get you there for now. If you need it, which you should NOT!~
You’re awesome! I’m almost 65.
Here’s to your health. I did reset!
I LOVED the banana peel! I couldn't stop laughing after reading it. People need to lighten up sometimes. If you know Marcie, she is anything but harsh. She is very caring and concerned when it comes to quitting smoking. She is straight forward. Quitting smoking is serious business but sometimes laughing helps.
I didn’t think harsh- I laughed, and needed her comments! Very caring.
I didn't mean you thought it was harsh. When I say I laughed, it had nothing to do with you or anyone that asks ANY question on a quit smoking forum. I had plenty of questions when I first quit and joined a forum. This quitting smoking thing was all new to me and I learned so much, which kept me from ever taking another puff.
I was actually laughing at Marcie's sarcasm, especially the part about the waxed floors. Slipping on bananas comes to mind but waxed floors not as much. Maybe because mine aren't as well waxed. I seem to recall some new floors she mentioned a while back and I was thinking she may have slipped on them. I hope not.
((((avian3))))) Not to worry, dear friend... my floors are non-skid everywhere. Remember I broke my arm by slipping on a wet (old) floor that I was trying to dry ... I slipped, but didn't have or want a cigarette thank God .
jlp5564 ... keep in mind it does get easier and better ... to the day when you can get angry or happy or hurt or frustrated, and the thought of a cigarette won't even cross your mind.
I fell on a wet floo and broke both my wrist and elbow last Fall (pun intended!)
Hope you are well healed - I am!
Ahhhh- glad you’re recovered! I am as well.
Yes. certainly, you should. Reset Reflect Restart. Education is the key to a successful quit. Read the suggested materials. You will go further understanding the law of addiction. .. The best way to quit is to prepare and plan how you are going to go about your quit. My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX and review the videos and tracking also learn what your triggers are so you can better prepare for the urge to smoke when it happens. I am a firm believer education is the key to success. I was advised to read Allen Carr's Easyway to Quit Smoking which can be found on pdf on the web. Another good site to get info which was very helpful to me is www.whyquit.com. There are several articles to read. Nicotine 101 and Freedom From Nicotine My Journey Home. To get help on navigating the site go to. Community Help. Make quitting smoking your number one priority. Start by getting rid of anything associated with smoking such as ashtrays, lighter,cigarettes, etc. You can do this if you make up your mind that you can. Relearning your thinking that you do not have to smoke is a good beginning. For a while, you will think about smoking but that does not mean you have to act on it. You can talk yourself out of smoking. No matter what never ever take another puff. NOPE. Take smoking off the table as an option and do something different. 101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke SINAO smoking is not an option.
I agree and here's why. Addiction is based on lies I tell myself, my higher power and other people. Honesty is the way out. Quitting without honest accountability is doomed to fail.
This has to become one of my elder's quotes. Thanks.
I’m such a rookie- please explain. Thanks!
I know you don’t want to hear this but yes you have to reset the date. Don’t mean to be harsh, but we all stand behind NOPE. Not one puff ever. No matter how long you are quit. You see we don’t do that anymore. Reset and join us. We are here to support you. Make sure you prepare yourself to quit. That’s how I finally did it. Wanting it isn’t enough. It’s very difficult , but very doable with preparation. Take all the advice. Read everything. Use what you need. You got this!!
Well said! Thank you!
Yep I would.
MOO (My Opinion Only) https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Giulia-blog/2015/04/09/it-s-not-the-puff-it-s-the-permission
I relapsed two times when I first quit smoking here but I got back up and started over again. You will be ok you can do this.
I’m talking about me only when I say this that when I had relapsed a long time ago here at Ex that I wanted a 100% clean quit date that I could be proud of and not a wishy washy quit date having a puff here a puff there everywhere a puff puff and I am glad I did that. I like being able to go to our bonfires we have here at Ex and being able to toss into the fire my exact number of unsmoked cigarettes I feel proud to be able to do that.
Wishing you the best.
So true. Thanks!
I have never believed in slips...slips are something you wear under a dress or a bad fall on ice is what I always say, but whatever, you got plenty of great advice and the thing I want you to get from this is to understand the WHY behind the 'er, slip' so you recognize it coming the next time and 'cover up better so your legs don't show or you don't fall and break a bone', hahaha.
You did good coming here and using the site to lead you! Stick around, we will get through this. We have all been there
Ditto on the slips
Thank you! Great reply!!! I’m so grateful!
Your decision, but I would I reset my quit date. I would feel like I'm being dishonest with myself. You're also being honest by coming here and admitting you "slipped". So, I think you already knew the answer for yourself. Get right back on board. You can do this.
I would like to add just two things to all of the good responses. If you don't hold yourself accountable to honor your quit date, won't it be easier to do it again - and maybe again?? It's a slippery slope.
It took a LOT of decisions to smoke those two cigarettes. You had to:
1) Give in and give yourself permission to smoke them.
2) Rationalize that decision.
3) Get in the car and drive to the store to buy them.
4) Park and walk into the store to buy them.
5) Ask for them at the counter.
6) Pick up a lighter.
7) Pay for them.
8) Walk back and get in the car.
9) Open up the pack.
10) Take the first one out.
11) Unwrap the lighter.
12) Put the cigarette into your mouth.
13) Light it.
15) Repeat from #12 again.
I list the decisions so you understand you had 14 opportunities not to give in to the addict within. At any point you could have chosen to do something ELSE, like going for a quick walk, or marching in place, or counting the red/blue things you see, or some slow/deep breathing or coming here and blogging "HELP" or a myriad of other things.
(If you had them around, that was a bad idea, and just gave yourself permission to smoke them. When you quit again, throw out ALL your cigarettes after putting them under running water , smashing them up in the and putting them in the trash. If they were available because you have a smoker around, ask them to keep them out of your sight and to keep the ashtray and lighters hidden, as well.)
Let's make this your final quit Change that date, then decide you will not smoke another cigarette NO MATTER WHAT - and honor that decision each and every minute of each and every day. Remind yourself that this does get easier - but you must give it the time it takes.
Reset your date to reflect the truth because the truth is important to you, your smobriety and every quitter. If I suggested to you that having two cigarettes wasn't really smoking because it was just two and then it was over, well, then I'd also be saying the same to myself (and anyone else in EX). I can't do that. I just know in my heart that quitting means no smoking one day at a time--no exceptions. But Ex isn't about shame, blame, just the truth. Don't smoke, reset your date and be satisfied with the truth.
Lovely! I did start over ( reset)
jlp5564 To get your new quit date synced to the EX Community follow the directions here: Re: How do I get my quit date to show on the community?
MarkEX Community Manager
it is not a question ... it has the answer in it.
YOU CHANGE YOURSELF.
Make resolve...i will not slip. i will not slip. i will not slip.
Be firm, and never go back to nicodemon.
all the best !
I would. I would change my quit date to today. A slip does not have to lead to continued smoking.
I did change my quit date! Thx! On day 6!!!! No slips!
Congrats on your 6 days. Reach out next time before you smoke. We're here for you.
Wooo Hooo jlp5564 !! Six days to the rest of your life!! Week one WON! (ok I'm jumping the gun by half a day... so SUE ME! LOL!!)
I don't know where we go to celebrate awesomeness here at EX, but the first week being the hardest deserves whatever parade that can be thrown for YOU!
Wow! Thank you for your support!
HOW ARE THINGS? You doin' okay? Don't you give up now.
Not so great. Your message is so kind. Slipped quite a few times, and not proud. Really struggling. Thanks for reaching out.
Quitting Smoking is a Journey - YouTube Doc Evans (video link) puts it so clearly. Have you seen it?
Thank you. Great video.
OK, so can you pinpoint what you're doing that isn't working, or what you've done that hasn't helped? What have you tried? And what do you think you're missing? What do you think you need to make the transition in your head from smoker to non smoker? Because that's where it really starts - in our heads.
Good questions. Thanks!
TIM? This was his avatar.
Tim was a guy from the old forum. He was a big part of my quit. He was always straightforward and wasn't a cuddly type, which was exactly what I needed at the time. Unfortunately, he passed away along with 5 others that passed that were also such a help to me when I first quit.
This was just something I found on the internet that I've used over the years here. Have no idea who Tim was. Of which old forum are you speaking? Wow, and he and five others have passed away. I'm sorry, birdie.
QSMB, the one I could no longer hang onto by myself. I have seen the photo many places. It just reminded me of him.
It seems sad that 6 have all died. It's a reminder to cherish and appreciate the friends that have helped you remain quit and all the wonderful people you have met here and become close friends with.
It's a reminder to cherish and appreciate the friends that have helped you remain quit and all the wonderful people you have met here and become close friends with.
Yup. I don't think I ever stop appreciating the people here and those of yore who wished I had quit. They are our gift, and the gift we give back is by remaining true to that best part of us that they helped nourish.
You have already gotten some great replies. Here are my two cents, for what they're worth...
Ask yourself--what does your quit date mean to you?
My quit date is the first day after I took my very last puff. Why am I so strict on this? For a couple of reasons:
1.) I was hooked from the very first puff. I didn't enjoy my first cigarette. No. I coughed and hacked my way through it. Why? Because that first puff awakened the nicotine receptors in my brain, which immediately began screaming for more. So a single puff became the chains that bound me like a slave to addiction for more than a decade.That's what one puff can do.
2.) I threw away some really lengthy quits in the past, because I thought I could have "just one." But that first puff (yet again) awakened my inner addict and gave her life. And, as we all know, that inner addict is a loud-mouthed piece of work who wants what she wants and will do anything to get it. Once she's revived by that single hit of nicotine, she whines, whimpers, and cries until we feed her more...and more...and more. A single puff will have you up to your usual habit in no time.
So my quit date is very important to me. I know in order to keep my quit, I can never take another puff. Not one single puff. Ever again.
You are very fortunate that you got right back on your quit after two cigarettes. Good job. Now keep that quit! This is life or death stuff here!
jlp5564 I hope you let us all grab onto your hand and pull you back up. This place is your safe place to learn about your addiction. We all know what you are going through and you can talk to us anytime. You can do this keep telling yourself you can. The past is in the past let it go and start on a new path. Come on if you have any smokes left please toss them out of your life for good. Life can be good without smokes.
Wow! Thanks so much. I feel your caring and kindness.
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