Almost Threw Quit Away¡!!!!!!!!!

[PRAIRIEROSELADY]

Ltop returned from Dell.  Plenty of problems came with......Condensed version with tiny tablet.   Phone calls and Several hours later and 3 techs and a Supervisor later.......Ltop still doesn't work but a call will be Mon .or Tues for Tech appt to my place. Next week we have

 to start taking care of stuff to head north .  My BP was  sky high when done dealing broken English .    General run around .   I really wanted to smoke after seeing my BP and horrible headache.  I didn't but the nonstop crap has gotta Stop!!!!! I'M fighting so hard.....Tonight I had rare soc ial p!ans and didn't get there either.    I am so 

angry I could spit tacks.  A martini, assorted cheeses and crackers.....stuffing my face!!!!!! If I went to party now. I'd tie one on!!!!!

[Lisaml]

Ugh what a yucky day! So sorry!!

im super proud of you for keeping your quit intact when you're angry! To me that's the hardest emotion to "stay quit" through. Ah, the rage. But you DID IT. And you're doing it;-) 

think of how crappy you'd feel throwing away this quit?;-) and not to mention your BP, etc. 

NOPE! Who needs it?! Just adds another dimension of terrible onto an already terrible day. Health issues, frustration, money, coughing, stinking, that "wet" sound in your lungs in the morning. NOPE. 

So you are strong, and you're my hero tonight! 

Go celebrate! 

Way to hang in there 😉 

[Lisaml]

Take it a step further. 

Allow your mind to do this "walk of shame". 

Mentally drive ive to the store. Hand over the $7 or whatever. Buy the pack. And the lighter or matches. 

Then light it in your mind- 

ahhhhhh....

more like UGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

your heart rate spikes to about 110, you get a weird sweaty sensation on your forehead. Clammy. 

Then the first wave of nausea hits. Gonna puke, must pull over. Dizzy. Ugh. Why did I do this? 

I REEK and I'm gonna throw up. 

Hands are shaky and sweaty and really COULD puke or pass out..

THAT amy friend is what would ACTUALLY happen....

[Lisaml]

***my friend

(not amy friend) 

sorry my autocorrect is weird. 

Anyway, I could write this better, but in a hurry to let you know to quit romanticizing the smoke. It didn't help, EVER. It put you into a constant state of varying degrees of withdrawl.

NOPE. 

How ya feeling 

[PRAIRIEROSELADY]

Hanging.   TY!!!! My tiny tablet is acting up now .  

[PRAIRIEROSELADY]

U r right!!!!!   I want freedom more¡!!!!!!!!

[PRAIRIEROSELADY]

Hugs to u friend .    Think the hot shower will do me in.     Exhausted need sleep. 

[Lisaml]

Had to go get teenager from movies, sorry. 

Hot shower and big sleep! 

Clarity will be there when you wake!!! 😉 

[PRAIRIEROSELADY]

Bless You!!! This Grandma didn't lose the quit .   

[Jennifer-Quit]

Sorry I am late seeing this.  Anger is not our friend - was and still is my biggest trigger.  I work hard on trying to not let things that I have no control over upset me so - not easy but I have improved.  We also have to work on the #1 most important thing that we can control - that being not smoking.  Sometimes a shower or hot bath, a drink, and going to bed was the best answer for me.  Hope you are feeling better.