Boy I have messed up

Discussion created by Wanttostopnow on Jun 19, 2017
Latest reply on Jun 21, 2017 by Ready2021

I wish I never saw an E cig!! 

4 years ago after being off cigarettes for so long I just needed that hit of nicotine while going through a hard time.

I started at the highest level of nicotine they would allow.

and of course I loved it!

i have lied to myself for so long ... that these things are ok ... or this will be the last bottle of E liquid I buy. 

Ha! What a joke. That's been going on in my head for a year. 

I have at least moved down from 24m on the nicotine to 12m on the nicotine.

Now it's starting to bother me. Has been for at least a year . I used to have asthma but I had improved to 100% before the E. it took it 3 years to start me back up with asthma . 

Whats so crazy about the addiction is it makes you think like a fool. I actually breath on a rescue inhaler everyday just so I can smoke. The stupid part is when I'm wheezing and can't breath I say I will never smoke it again. Then I use the medication and get ok and in no time that feeling hits. Then I say " just one more hit" 

i am so mad with myself over this.

Im doing damage ! I know I am because I work in EMS for crying out loud.

i have my E with me all the time. I bet I smoke it more than any cigarette smoker who smokes 2 packs a day , because it's so easy and doesn't smell.

i have really back myself into a corner here.