Why can't I have just one a Month? Please....

[Thomas3.20.2010]

C'mon! Just one a Month! Surely I can sneak one on a special occasion? What's the harm? Less is better than more, right? I need some real answers to this question - not just beliefs, please! Just one rule - be nice!

[Angie-Lah]

Your comment about N.O.P.E being dogma rather than fact really hits home for me this week. I had another blog post on here about my 7 year quit being as strong as ever but I'd found myself floundering with alcohol after years of trying "moderation." I'm applying the same principles to drinking as I did to quit smoking. Not one puff, not one drink. You're absolutely right that no means zero! That means YOU, new quitters!

[Diannnnn]

I really wish there was a love button. After I stopped freaking out, I figured that was what you were doing.

Thanks for upping our heart rates. 

Dian

[12Finally34]

I am like a new comer sitting in a 12 step meeting drying out.  

As that new comer I am confused and need to ask the question:  What is the difference between surrender and admission.  

As this newcomer does surrender means I have left all mental thoughts of trying to get that first puff?

Does admitting means I acknowledge the addiction with reservation?

As this newcomer, I am afraid to slip and I am afraid to go forward.  

This questions is so above my head all I can do is wait till the feelings stirred in me pass.

Grateful I can participate and don't have to know the answers!!

12Finally34

[Giulia]

12Finally34‌  Never having been in a 12 step meeting - to me admission means I understand this is an addiction and not just a "bad habit."  And I admit that I, personally, am addicted to smoking.  That I can't just stop any time I want, that it has a certain hold on me.  However that doesn't mean I am powerless over it.  I proved that by quitting 11 years ago.  We gain power through educating ourselves.  But I admit that I have a weakness or a proclivity towards it.  Knowing that, I understand the immense and immediate danger in taking just one puff.  

When it comes to "acceptance," I accept the journey to Freedom in whatever form that takes and however long it takes.  Again, I do not accept that I am powerless over it.  I accept that because I am addicted to smoking I simply can't have that one cigarette.  And I agree not to BECAUSE of that acceptance.  If I make the right choices and stay committed, smoking will be contained in my past.  But I must remain mindful, else it just might be in my future.

You're doing a lot of great thinking homework here.  Keep doing it!  We get to know ourselves really well on this journey.  Change means growth.  And thanks for the great questions.  Make my brain work!

[12Finally34]

Giulia,

In Carr's material he speaks about admitting to being addicted to nicotine and becoming willing to surrender to new information.  

Because I struggle with the word powerless, Carr 's reading is easy for me to digest than trying to understand the concept of powerlessness.  Brainwashing, admitting, surrendering sound and feel more tangible than the word powerlessness.  With 28 years of sobriety, I identify with Thomas' question instead of cigarette it is alcohol.  

Today, I had my first  public confrontation without a cigarette.  I was edgy and not in the mood to be victimized or verbal abused.  I did not feel powerlessness when the individual wanted to publicly humiliate me.  For a change, I did not run away in shame, and was able to hold my own in the debate, the individual started cursing and I had no problem going to their level.  

Today,  my nerves were too raw to be the better person or feel victimized, I was too busy trying to save my asset and my smobriety.  

I am grateful for this confrontation because I didn't have time to analyze.  I had to utilize every strategy I could recall to not to take the first puff.  One of the strategy was pretend smoking.  I had a stirer and I pretend it was a cigarette.  As I was calming down, I realized I was taking deep breathes.  I am grateful that I didn't use the e-cigarette.  

12Finally34

[elvan]

12Finally34‌ CONGRATULATIONS, that is HUGE!  Confrontations and anger really were hard for me to deal with...every experience, smoke free, makes us stronger. 

I am really proud of you.

Ellen

[12Finally34]

Checking in!

 I just reviewed Carr's instructions because I always find something I missed during the reading.  

Now that I am in my 3rd week and detoxing from the Chantix, when someone asks me how I am doing, I can say "For the past (whatever my day count), I am free from cigarette".  Justing writing these words makes me breathe deeply.

Oh, today I was feeling like a child when I took my cigarette money to the bank.  I was so proud that I had enough to start a checking and savings. 

12Finally34

[Giulia]

That's one of the things cigarettes did for us - encouraged us to take deep breaths.  Odd, isn't it, that the thing that kills us encourages us to take deep breaths at the same time.   Now you're just breathing good old sweet unsmokey air!  Kudos on getting through the confrontation without resorting to your binky.  Speaking of empowerment.....!  Deep breaths are a good tool to get through cravings.  That's why we mention it all the time.  

[12Finally34]

Hi,

Completed the goal of opening an account..  

Now that I have 3 weeks and following Carr's instructions, I will respond to questions about my quitting with affirmative statements.   Instead of saying, it is rough or I survived, my mantra will be "Today, I am free from smoking and i did not take the first puff."  

Between the deep breathing and mindful thoughts when triggers or cravings appear, it is like a whisper.  

It is funny how I couldn't get into Carr's book at first, Now is it like my holy bible.  

By next week, I will be on the road to detoxing from Chantix and using the strategies from Carr and suggestions from the Ex community.  

A benefit I like is looking in the mirror and standing there for a few minutes.  The tar and nicotine is leaving my lips and they are turning back to their natural color.  

I think this site and Carr's book is the bomb!

When do I use my real name?  Do I have to sign off with my id every time.

12Finally34

[Thomas3.20.2010]

When do you use your real name? When you decide that you are ready! I used mine from day one and differentiated myself from all the other Thomases. Toms. and Tommys by my Quit Date. That became something of a formula that many of us chose to use - not a requirement. But I personally found it helped me to commit because who wants to change their name and quit date?

So Finally, ...who are you, if I may ask?

12Finally34‌