When does it get better? No man’s land is kicking my butt.

[ChandrikaC]

Hi everyone,

I am sorry that this post is not going to be very positive, but I need help BAD. I’m at 9 weeks, 3 days. The first 30 days were honestly a breeze compared to what the last 30 days or so have been. I haven’t had a cig, not even a puff. I’m very proud of myself and I want to quit, but I keep having thoughts that will not escape my head. I want to smoke so bad some times and I try to take my mind off of it, but then I get frustrated thinking “so I’ve distracted myself. Big deal. I still want one.” 
I don’t like the place I’m in right now bc I feel super angry. I know I did this to myself, but I keep thinking it isn’t fair that I have no self control. I make the mistake of comparing myself to some of my friends who can have one cig here and there. Meanwhile if I have even one, I’ll be back to a pack a day in No time. I do not want to be a smoker. And I don’t want to be angry or Where I’m at. I don’t know what has happened, but I want to know it will get better. I started crying the other night bc I wanted one so bad. It makes me feel weak and like a slave to my addiction. 

what is clear is that this is a very addictive, powerful, manipulative drug. I am clearly over the physical addiction, but that piece of crap keeps trying to bring me back. I know I’m not the only one who has gone through this feeling, so if anyone could share some tips or advice on proper coping mechanisms, I would really appreciate it. 
I’m sorry to be a downer. I want this quit to be for life and I’m scared the cigarettes may win. 

also, does anyone know how to up the ex community texts? They decreased in frequency and I’m someone who likes a constant reminder. 

Thank you. Happy holidays and STAY SMOKE FREE!! 

[Mossie]

I think it is hard to quit any addiction.  Whether we are addicted to cigarettes, food, alcohol or shopping.  It is a new mindset to keep from having a relapse.  I quit on 11/16/19 due to being really sick.  All I can remember is how bad smoking a cigarette would make me cough.  That was my one reminder that I did not want to smoke.  I loved smoking and feel like I could eat one sometimes.  I try to think about something else, like changing the channel on the TV.  Other times I just have to get up and move to another room to get my mind off of smoking.  I think that everyone need to pat themselves on the back for each and everyday that they don't smoke.  That is a victory!!!!

[Swanbird]

I hear you!  I hear you!  I hear you!  I'm only 9 days in and this is dreadful!  Hang in there you can do it!

[MarilynH]

You can do this quit you are doing this quit and you're doing it one precious Smokefree Day at a time or hour minute or even a second at a time as long as you keep moving forward stacking up those precious Days Of Freedom then each evening you can say YAY for another Day WON it's definetly not easy by any stretch of the imagination BUT boy oh boy it's so worth it to be Free. Swanbird

[maryfreecig]

And so can you Swanbird. Congratulations on 9!

[ChandrikaC]

Thank you!!! You can do this too!!!!

[Barbscloud]

First of all a big congratulations on your 9 weeks +.   This isn't easy, but don't lose site of the what you have accomplished.  Try to focus on how successful you've been.  I totally understand.  My quit was very emotional--feeling down, sad, etc.  It did take a good while for it to pass.   Don't forget anger is normal human emotion.  Anger isn't bad except when we take it out on others.  Have you tried channeling the anger into maybe an activity--walking or some other exercise ?  I found knowing what to possibly expect on my journey (such as NML) very helpful.  That doesn't mean we're all going to experience the same thing - we're unique individuals.  I told myself a lot (and still do) "that I don't do that anymore" when I had a crave.  

I received the texts leading up to my quit and found them extremely helpful.  I did look a the setup and didn't see anything about changing the frequency.  Mark‌ can answer that.

Keep moving forward!

Barb

[ChandrikaC]

Thank you, Barb. When you're in the thick of a craving, it is hard to see how far you've come and it's so easy to want to throw it all away. I take a look at my "Last cigarette" app and look at my replies here and realize it isn't worth it. I really appreciate your taking the time to respond. I am confident these responses are what kept me from relapsing and I am so grateful! 

Barbscloud wrote:

First of all a big congratulations on your 9 weeks +.   This isn't easy, but don't lose site of the what you have accomplished.  Try to focus on how successful you've been.  I totally understand.  My quit was very emotional--feeling down, sad, etc.  It did take a good while for it to pass.   Don't forget anger is normal human emotion.  Anger isn't bad except when we take it out on others.  Have you tried channeling the anger into maybe an activity--walking or some other exercise ?  I found knowing what to possibly expect on my journey (such as NML) very helpful.  That doesn't mean we're all going to experience the same thing - we're unique individuals.  I told myself a lot (and still do) "that I don't do that anymore" when I had a crave.  

I received the texts leading up to my quit and found them extremely helpful.  I did look a the setup and didn't see anything about changing the frequency.  Mark can answer that.

Keep moving forward!

Barb

[CommunityAdmin]

chandrika.christie The Texts don’t come from the EX Community directly.  There isn’t a way in the edit profile to increase frequency but maybe exproductmgr‌ can suggest way to increase frequency again.  

Mark

EX Community Manager

[EXProductMgr]

chandrika.christie‌ Great feedback for us -- there is not currently a way to increase the frequency. You can get instant support any time though by texting CRAVE, MOOD, or SLIP to the number from which you currently receive messages.

[Giulia]

WHEN DOES IT GET EASY??????‌    It's all about attitude.  I think what makes it hard for us that we haven't closed the door on the option to smoke.  Possibility Door   The more we seal that door shut with our commitment, the less chatter we have in our brains.  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2016/09/06/a-quit-dialogue-in-iv-acts?sr=search&searchId=7a793e7a-6823-4a68-a51b-...‌  

It WILL get better.  None of us would make long-terms quits if that were not true.   You just keep hanging in.  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/positive-affirmations-and-support/blog/2017/10/24/its-gonn...