What to do when they are away

[tracy4]

I have been quit for 43 days and this is the first weekend that my BF is away. He is on his annual mountain trip and this would be the time to smoke it up... now i don't know what to do - i am going out with friends tonight but i feel lonely for some reason...

any suggestions? did anyone else feel this way? like "wow they are away - i can finally smoke as much as i want and not get caught?"

[bobbie-christenson]

i just had the weekend from hell, my guy went for 6 days on a mototcycle tryip and i was ALL ALONE, so what could i do with myself, i could smoke and believe me i wanted to smoke so bad, noone would know but the problem was i would know and i would have to start all over again, i don't want to go through what i have been through ever again this has been hell + double hell. so i didn't smoke but had a weird 6 days i was almost mad at him for leaving me alone to make this horrid decision by myself, as if this was his problem, we get sick thoughts don;'t we? well i didn't and you won't cause you will go threw every feeling i had and get so confused you will decide it is is too much work to start, and to quit again also , too many decisions and hell to pay, so good luck sweetie, and hang in there and you will be fine i know you will i only have 18 days today,, so how i did it is beyond me think i had a little help. lots of luck bobbie-

[katy3]

I feel like that when I break my diet.
Like, if my parents and my friends don't see me eat, it is okay!

But I have to remember...
The calories are there just the same...
And so are the cancer causing agents and nicotine.

I am not the best to give advice...
[seeing as though I still smoke a few at parties]

Good luck!

[becky2]

I live alone and some evenings are really hard. I was telling my son I printed out stuff and hung it around to help me. He told me he would make me a billboard if it helped, including how proud he is of me. So I keep that thought close to my heart and know I'm doing the right thing.

Good Luck and hang in there they say it's worth it I hope to find that satisfaction!

[bobbie-christenson]

tracy had the same exact experience last wek-end my bf went on a harley ride for 5 days, and i thoought this is it i shall light up and just sit here and smoke, one problems kept circling my brain I WOULD KNOW THEN I WOULD HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS) and it spiraled down from there, what could i do but not smoke, it would have not worked i coluld't make it work and i am pretty bright at getting into trouble so good luck girl don't do it you will know then you have to tell someone else and then someone else it is definetily not worth it, sweetie, lots of hope bobbie

[AutumnWoman]

I'm with bobbie on this one. I'm sitting here this morning fighting off cravings. I had the house to myself before my family woke up and it would have been sooooo easy to smoke. But then I would have had to come here and admit it AND I would have to start my day count all over again. It's getting to the point where a cigarette is just not worth the trouble -- FINALLY. All you can do is keep moving forward. But believe me, I remember there was a time when I would have fallen back.

[randi2]

I wonder what this is... I have this problem, too -- this desire to smoke because you know you can get away with it. It almost makes you want to light up (regardless of the physical craving level) just because you know you have this "window of opportunity" and you better "seize it." It's a horrible thing to associate smoking as some golden opportunity, but it's a hard thing to help since I think there's something about the allure of the forbidden that keeps us in some state of self-sabotage. Is it our psychological make-up that makes the allure of the forbidden simply irresistible?? Is it the state of mind of people who have "addictive" personalities? Does it have to do with self-worth... the pull to sabotage something we've worked hard for?

I guess I'm thinking out loud and not really giving any helpful suggestions or support, per se... but maybe someone has a response to my ponderings that they'd like to share.

[sylvie]

Randi,
I thought for sure i was THE only one in the world thinking like that!
wow, even now, when i go in a restaurant and it is no smoking it bothers me, that someone else is in charge of my quit, and is denying ME, and get this: i don't smoke anymore!!!!
want to share the expense of an hour at the shrink, with me lol?!

[ironhead]

Deep thoughts Randi, but oh so right! I stopped almost 5 weeks ago. I was never a "big" smoker, but one none the less. Probably a pack a week and only in my car. On my way to meetings. I live in the LA area, so it could take 2 hours to get from one place to another. Never in front of anybody! I hid it very well. Gum, colonge, sprays... the whole nine yards. My weight was under control for the first time in a few years. I guess I've been smoking for 7 years. As you indicated, it's not the smoking that is the driving force...I think it's the "allure" that does it for me. This is something that I had just for ME! I wanted to hang on to it because it was mine and mine alone. I didn't share it with anybody.

Now, I'm in the gym 5 days a week. I know that pain I feel in the gym sometimes makes me wonder if it was worth it...quitting I mean. I feel miserable every day. Not having the withdrawl issues from nicotine as much as missing "my time". I sit around now when I have some free time and try to justify lighting up again. I justify that because I've gained 5 lbs since I quit, it would be better if I did smoke, at least I wasn't gaining weight. I try to justify that I was less agitated when I was smoking. I've had a few people tell me that I seem a little more on edge lately. I try to justify that because I didn't smoke "that much" that it wouldn't be like "really" smoking.

Rambling....so I'll stop.....maybe someone else has those experiences......

[pmarlene]

Wow...me too!! Every time my hubby would go on a motorcycle or hunting trip that was MY TIME to smoke em up!  I've made it through 2 of these occasions and I'm hoping each one becomes easier. I spent my time doing puzzles, watching movies, and playing games on my phone. Anything to keep my mind busy. This seems to be my worst times of wanting to smoke (when I'm left alone) but I just keep fighting through it...knowing I'm not the only onen with these thoughts is somehow comforting!