Waves of fear

[MichelleDiane]

The past few days I have had unexplained waves of fear.  They don't last very long.  I'm just surprised that they come out of no where.  They're not cravings or urges.  I'm not even sure I'm thinking about smoking when they occur.  Just wondering if others have this experience.

[PRAIRIEROSELADY]

Sounds perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep taking 1 step at a time...doing great....... Today is: Prairie 60 DOF

[MichelleDiane]

Thanks Prairie

[Daniela2016]

Can't wait to see you flying too MichelleDiane!  Deep breathing was my answer, and still is to all feelings of fear/anxiety/cravings.  When I don't know exactly what is happening, I don't wait to define the feeling, I start practicing the deep breathing. By the time you do it 10-15 times, the feeling might be gone.

You are doing great!

[MichelleDiane]

Thank you Daniela.  I'm working through the thoughts and finding that I can do it.  

-Michelle

[IrishRose]

MichelleDiane‌ , come to think of it, were those waves of fear hitting you while you were doing your income taxes for 2017???  I am trying to finish mine up at the witching hour, and got hit with a big wave.

Have a beautiful smokefree day!!!

 Irish Rose

[MichelleDiane]

Interesting thought IrishRose.  Actually I think it was fear of success and the irrational thought of never being able to smoke again.  I believe that as I was getting more and more days won the nicodemon was trying his best to pull me in, so I wouldn't be getting rid of him.  Sadly, he won that time, but won't this time.

-Michelle

[elvan]

MichelleDiane‌ I remember someone here telling me that she could NOT use the mantra NOPE because that word EVER made her feel a sense of terror...think of your addiction as a toddler throwing a major fit in a grocery store.  That toddler will do anything he or she can think of to get his or her way.  You might be better off using Dale's favorite, "I don't do that any more" or else OldBones-Larry‌ saying that is MY favorite, "One step and then another will get you to where you want to be."  It really IS one step at a time...one experience at a time.  Oh taxes...I don't even OWE anything but, for some reason, they TERRIFY me and I think I have put our accountant's kids through college because we had to file business taxes and I could not figure out how.  I made my husband give up his business license because he has carried a loss for years and years and who do you think gets stuck paying to have the taxes done?  Yep, you got it...ME!  I was whining to the Commissioner of Revenue in our city and she told me that she will do our taxes for us for nothing...I said "WHAT?"  She says she does it for anyone who is a resident, she advises doing it early rather than near the deadline.  I pay taxes at my job just in case he ever earns anything, hahahaha, that's NOT really a risk.  In any event, I will get a refund that will pay me back for getting the taxes done.  

IrishRose‌ You are going to feel SO MUCH BETTER once those taxes are DONE!

Ellen

[MichelleDiane]

Taking it in the day Ellen.  Isn't that all we can do?  I just took a walk between clients.  So amazing it was not with a cigarette in hand.  I enjoyed the wind and was picturing my lungs filling up with crisp clean air (well, it should really be warmer and pollution does taint the air, but I digress).  It helps if I can envision the benefits.  Also, my hands don't smell, so when I was writing with my pen I was happy that it just smelled like Jergens.  My hair also doesn't stink like smoke.  It is the little things that add up to the big things because they are not little at all.  Don't mind me I'm in a rambling mood.  

Much love,

Michelle

[IrishRose]

The hair was a big thing for me.  I have a head of it, and it is unreal how your hair can hold onto odors.  It smells good now!

Irish Rose

[elvan]

MichelleDiane  You are doing great...remember if a day is too long...shorten it to an hour or a minute or a second...you get the picture.  Oh I LOVE the way my hands and my hair smell, I so hated that smoke smell.

IrishRose‌ Oh nooooooooo, I thought that expression came from Dale...oops.  I am so glad I don't have to pay anything...just getting everything together is torture.  Without the business, it will be MUCH easier and we may not even itemize, except for my husband's medical bills which are crazy.  

Ellen