Want to but can't commit-Help!

[hardtoquit]

I've just joined Ex. I still am a light smoker. My loved ones are mortified that I hold onto smoking. I bum or buy 4 loosies a day. In a city, its all around me. When there's no smokers around I've managed on gum and low strength patches, but weaken anytime its available, as a stress reliever and oral tool.

I simply am holding on and won't cut the chord. I enjoy those cigarettes so much yet am always filled with guilt and shame.

I had a health scare recently and thought I had cancer but after complete screening I'm fine. Yet still I've gone back to this chronic scourge.

I would love help to get strong and to help visualize being free 100% from ever lighting a cigarette.

Any helpful suggestions and encouragement are very welcome!!

[Dominque]

Barb, home from vaca smoking my last pack. Please pray that I can do this

Sent from my iPhone

[Barbscloud]

Hi Donna.  I was thinking about you.  Hope you had a wonderful cruise, now  it's time to get to work (Ha Ha).   Just make sure they're all gone; you can smoke them  or you can drown them.  Is tomorrow the day?  How exciting for you.  You're going to have the life of a non-smoker.   I really didn't appreciate the freedom until I was well into my quit.  Worrying about not running out, where I was going to smoke at an event, etc.  It's not easy, but you're going to be so proud of yourself for giving yourself such a wonderful gift.

Hugs

Barb

[Christine13]

Just great to have you here.  Read all you can about this addiction.  Plan for stressful times, those times are my worst.

Glad you are using some gum.  NRT's help.

[PrimeNumberJD]

Cathy, 

 I enjoy those cigarettes so much yet am always filled with guilt and shame.

Oh, at one point I identified with this so well! No lie, this was me just over 60 days ago! As I found out, or at least as I perceive now, the guilt and shame is because I didn't enjoy the cigarettes at all!

YoungAtHeart‌ hasn't posted a welcome here, but hers cracked through my thick skull and I tried some of the things she said and I'm glad I did!  

So here we are, at the beginning of our journey, and the only way to get going is to take a single step towards our destination. Where is your destination? If we're heading the same way, we might as well do it together, What say you? 

The site will be here in times of need. Come here and post when you have a crave you're having a hard time with BEFORE you cave. Tag a couple of the elders or those who you find responsive (utilize the @ symbol with their name). Then wait, click the refresh 1,000 times if you have to, but absolutely wait for a response BEFORE you cave! In those minutes, by the time someone gets back to you, you'll probably be past the reason why you asked for help! 

You've got this; we're ready to take this trip with you once you decide to step forward! 

[hardtoquit]

Wow. thanks much jdeering.  I did cave yesterday - as soon as I left the house to do a little shopping i bummed two at Home Depot!  Simply shut off the smart words like a switch.

Now I'm home in the studio with my cut-off straws and gum.

I will start with your suggestions of tagging elders, getting a network together, and using them.  I guess when I'm ready...

Bravo for your 60 days - will look into your profile.

Best,

Cathy

[PrimeNumberJD]

Cathy, 

Don't beat up on yourself, you are fighting a highly addictive substance! 4 or 400 a day, you are still addicted and it requires similar work. 

What I find important about your cave is that you identified your failing point and have thought of a different way to go in the future. Most of us failed multiple times before success. Keep at it and keep the Sexy Exers close, you'll be just fine! 

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Hi Cathy, just checking to see if you have gotten back on track?

[hardtoquit]

Afraid not. Went back to my 4 loosies im afraid. Idea is im preparing for sept 15 quit date.

Printed the 101 list, started adding my own.

Planning on reading other material.

Also the helpful ststements youve all provided.

Im a mook. Taking the easy road of addiction.

Thanks for checking on me. 

Ready vs holding on....

Cathy

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Stay close.

[hardtoquit]

Trying to keep home studio a no-smoking zone.  When there's anxiety/desire to smoke I'm

saying to myself that this anxiety is a lot less than the anxiety if i got sick, leaning over the toilet,

doctors visits, gross surgery...morbid but jolts the relative 'anxiety'