Trying to avoid a derailment

[MichelleDiane]

Amazing how things can turn around in the span of a minute.  All was going well today.  Busy, not thinking about smoking and when I did it didn't cause any strong reactions.  But in that one minute I wanted to scream.  Of course my director would not have been amused.  I can't really go into what came onto my tracks to disrupt my daily journey, but I will say that I am reaching out to get that object out of the way to avoid a derailment.  I have one more client and then will be alone to drive home through harsh emotions.  I know I am vulnerable, not just because of this, but because I am so new in my quit.  I know in my heart of hearts that I cannot go through another day one.  One thought keeping my feet where they are, aside from having one more client, is that I know if I have even one I will most likely never give up smoking.  This has to be my forever quit.  Thanks for any help.

-Michelle

[MichelleDiane]

I'm working through it Ellen, but as you know and have been extra taxed over the past few weeks, it is challenging.  Thanks for the love.

-Michelle

[OldBones-Larry]

Michelle,

Look on that saddle on the right-hand side. See that big club? The next time Ol' Nic starts whispering things in your ear, grab that club and beat the sh*t out of him!

Larry

[MichelleDiane]

Larry, you brought a smile to my face.  Can I be arrested for hitting somebody else I had in mind?  Okay...I know.  Were is that Ol' Nic? I'll treat him like a piñata.

-Michelle

[maryfreecig]

Great work finding your way through chaotic feelings and smoke fears! 

[MichelleDiane]

Working on it one hour at a time for today maryfreecig.  More than that I can't do right now, but I know that it will work.  Much thanks for the support.

-Michelle

[MarilynH]

Huge hug from me to you sweet MichelleDiane, I also smiled reading Larry's comment I've punched pillows in my early weeks of quitting and felt like ripping off someone's face a few times  but I didn't LOL.....

[JACKIE1-25-15]

You just rocked 30 days .  Sometimes when you hit these milestones that addictive brain tries to creep back in to see if it can gain control again.  The idea is to keep moving.  Do not stay focused on the thought of smoking . You can do it. Change it, prove to yourself that you can.  You have been for 32 days.  The idea is to keep going no matter what.  If that little man is on your shoulder, brush it off.  I use to knock him off of mine, literally and tell him to get to stepping because no matter what I am not going to smoke, so the addictive brain (demon) is wasting its time coming at me.  I AM NOT GOING to SMOKE.  IT IS NOT AN OPTION.  Holler if you can.  You are the boss, not the addiction.  It will go away. 

[MichelleDiane]

There you are Jackie.  Knew you would come to help.  Doing a little better today, but still some rough patches.  I'm keeping my eye on the 33 days WON.  It will feel good when I am ready to go to bed and know that I made it.

-Michelle

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Yes it is a very good feeling.  A big Congrats to you.  It gets easier.  Stay close. 

[MichelleDiane]

Thanks so much Daniela-3-11-2016.  It was tough going, but I did say no.  I just got home from going out to dinner with some close friends.  It helped my mood and they were overjoyed to hear that I quit smoking.  It was nice to hear.  Coming to this community is always uplifting and when you and the others reach out to me I feel safe.  Thank you so much.

Much love,

Michelle