Good morning to all. Anybody remember the term Terrible Two's for toddlers? I remember the 3's being worse. I am heading on 2 weeks (Day 9) for me and I'm not sure, but I do believe my mind is wondering towards the next leg of my journey because I feel "dread". My last quit lasted 19 days (that was the third week). Maybe my brain is reminding me that the third week is when I lost my quit due to fearful thinking. I am fearful that this is happening again. I am mindful that I need to be in today and not in the future, but this nasty feeling is pulling at me. I just wanted to come to this site because I know it has been my lifeline. I plan on getting dressed and heading out to work. I also plan on coming to this site as much as possible. I will pack a healthy lunch, get down on my knees and praying (Ellen's suggestion has helped), have gum with me and plenty of water. I plan on redirecting my thoughts and remembering how much I coughed and choked when I was smoking. I will also think of my family and how we are going to be celebrating my youngest daughter's graduation from college in the spring as well as the trip we are planning to Disney for her graduation present. All of these wonderful things will be present in my mind to help me overcome this feeling. But I could use a little encouragement on today's journey. Thanks in advance.
-Michelle 
8 DOF
Thanks Missy
Hi All! Yikes!!
So GLAD to see I am not alone and I'm so glad I was able to break free and get here, the one place I know every one will understand what I am going through.
I am having the same kind of day and the same kinds of struggles... actually I have been having the same kind of couple of days! Tomorrow I hit 60 days smoke free, I would have NEVER thought this possible 61 days ago. I haven't been feeling that great this week, I have Fibromyalgia and my body is just hurting, especially my hands! I've been playing this mind game with myself, trying to convince myself that a smoke will take my aches and pains aways.. All day today I fought the thoughts of "I want a cigarette, I can't do this" - I kept as busy as possible, drank lots of water, stomped around, ate lots of cookies, ate lots more cookies, I was just all around miserable but I OWNED it. I knew I was just down right crappy and nothing was going to change that, not even a cigarette!! Tonight I just yelled at my husband, son and Dog 
that's it, I've had it.. I'm going to smoke a cigarette... When the words came out of my mouth I thought to myself "fool, you will do no such thing" and here I am...
MichelleDiane your post was the first one I saw... See, we are all in the right place at the right time.. and we are NEVER alone in our struggle. Thank you for posting this today! I am so glad you are feeling better... And I am so so proud of you for making it through day 9 !!
I just read through all the comments, said the Serenity Prayer, took some deep breaths and honestly I feel SO MUCH BETTER! I am so grateful for everyone here, for all the great advice that you all give.. I am so thankful that I did not make a heated decision I would have deeply regretted - I know 1 cigarette will never be enough, so to smoke 1 cigarette, would be.. to go back to being a smoker.. this is something I definitely do not want.. I NEVER want to start over at day 1 ever again.
I hope everyone has a great night!!!
Debbie
Thank you Debbie. I'm so glad you used your inner voice to say no to cigarettes. Congratulations on 60! Your success inspires me and I will be looking for your hand to hold in the morning for the pledge.
Night Michelle
