Stress, stress and more stress. Is it stress or how we are reacting to life moving around us? Are we finding reasons to throw the towel in? Are we looking for any reason whatsoever to go back to what we've always done? Why do some craving or sensation that comes out of the blue, like a smokemare, throws some people over the edge? Where is all this panic coming from?
In my case, the panic came from the fear of failure. Well, here we go again, this one isn't going to take. This quit is not going to last. I remember very early in my quit saying nope, this is too hard. This is taking too long. I can't concentrate. I'm tired all the time. I'm constantly forgetting things. I'm stressed, but then again in reality am I? I know what is in a cigarette. I know that like chips, one is never enough. I know everything there is to know, but why is this hanging on so long?
I remember well my first smokemare. Scared the living bajesits out of me. I could taste it, fell the long inhale, feel the burn in my throat, the head rush from the exhale, the ever longing calm. Well, thank you, carbon monoxide. You did your job. Just last night that same dream came to visit once again. This time I did not freak out. I realized what it was doing, what my subconscious was doing. It was trying to reach a state of calm. I had an extremely frustrating day yesterday. Work piling up, weather not agreeing with me, dog being absolutely disagreeable, cats misbehaving, you name it, it went wrong yesterday. I was up until well after 1:00 a.m. figuring out what I'm going to do to finally go to sleep. Sometime during the night, I did because the smokemare came a calling. Now, they really do nothing for me. I simply shake my head at them. They're an annoyance now more than anything. The romance is gone.
Dreams sometimes are nature's way of working out our problems and frustrations of the day. Sometimes it's simply something that happened during your day that stuck with you for some reason and your subconscious works to sort it out. Once you see it for what it is and what it was that sparked it, it doesn't bother you as much. So don't be bothered by those smokemares. It may be just a lingering thought or your brain's way of calming you down from a recessed memory that's stored in that filing cabinet. Just see it for what it is.
There's been quite a few articles written about this very subject. Some are: Smokemares, /blogs/Summer-Rain-blog/2015/05/20/smokemares-wth , Smokemare #35. Notice the varying dates and different people. That's what makes this site so invaluable. So much information to share and so much insight to be gained. Be sure to use the magnifying glass to search for certain terms you are curious about or want to simply know if you're so-called normal or not. You're wondering about restless leg, search for it. Heart palpitations, shortness of breathe, tingling of hands, insomnia, tiredness, lack of concentration, goodness, the list goes on. It's all about learning more and more about dependence/addiction, this crazy thing they call quitting smoking. Soon, very soon, you'll find yourself liking the new and improved you........ blessings to you all. Crazy is over and out.
