Reset

[Shadow420nc6910]

I am so aggravated at myself I got into argument with boyfriend and went and bought a pack of killers yesterday I reset my data it did not help at all. I went to work and was stressed there also I guess just really tired of everything we never do anything anymore it seems like even if I ask him to buy me a soda he gets an attitude I just seem to think I was raised to think of someone else first and I always put me last ...sometimes I just feel like giving up

[JACKIE1-25-15]

This is why the Elders suggested to reset your quit date when you slipped. You leave yourself open to smoke again by not starting over and having accountablity. It is good that you came here for help. Let's get this quit to stick like spaghetti. NOPE NO matter what will keep you free.  You have to make up in your mind that nothing, no one will cause you to use them or it  as an EXcuse to smoke. There is no reason to smoke.  Think about it. Tell yourself just that and make it happen.  Self talk works wonders. 

Have a plan. What will you do the next time you BF causes you to get angry? It is going to happen again.  Anger is a natural instinct.  However there are things you can put in place to handle it. Review, reflect and tell yourself that you are going to do things differently.  What would a nonsmoker do?  Focus on what yoyou will do and move forward  I can only offer suggestions of what worked for me.  You have to find what works for you. 

Anger was one of my main triggers and caused me to relapse at a 4 month quit.  Before I quit again, I made up in my mind that i would not allow my anger to cause me to smoke again.   I would always breathe, find a quiet place until I calmed down.  Ain't easy but doable. 

[Giulia]

"sometimes I just feel like giving up"  Well - don't.


                 

[YoungAtHeart]

Have a PLAN what you will do NEXT time this happens.  It can be as simple as counting backwards from 1,000, or taking slow/deep breaths, or going for a walk, or taking a soak in the tub, or calling a friend to vent.     How do you think folks who never smoked handle anger?  If you know any, ask them!

Life is always going to happen; it's how you respond that tells the tale!

Nancy

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

"How do you think folks who never smoked handle anger?  If you know any, ask them!"

In all my 13+ years quit I've never thought to do that Nancy. A great idea. Thank you.

Keep on keepin on,

M n @

[Jennifer-Quit]

Although we are not "experts" or "professionals", those of us who have earned the right to be classified as an elder, have learned what works for most either by trial and error or by observing what works for most people.  These are my thoughts:

1. Smoking does not solve any of our problems or take any of our stress away.  The same problems or stressful situation is there whether or not we smoke.
2. Make a plan - what will I do instead of smoke the next time that I get upset?  Take a walk?  Take a drive? Scream?  Eat some ice cream?  Take of bubble bath?  The possibilities are endless...
3. Reset that clock - and be honest with yourself!  One puff - and set it back to zero.  If there is no price to pay, it really means nothing.  
4. You cannot change the past - no good comes from beating yourself up about this.  Reset the clock, get rid of everything smoke related, and lets get it done this time!

Best wishes to you!

[maryfreecig]

    One of the hardest lessons I've learned in life (and have to review from time to time!) is to take responsibility for my own feelings and actions regardless of how someone else is acting. Getting made with someone else and feeling they ought to change in order to make you feel better is a quick way to undermine your own wellbeing and your own smobriety.  Try to call apon your strengths at times like these and grow your smobriety stronger. It's not that you have to be a saint about your boy friends behavior, it's that if you let that anger fester you will give up. Grow your smobriety, not your anger. 

[GyorgyiM]

Boyfriend? .....would you "die" for this person? Was "he" worth that pack of  (killers) cigarettes? Did you allow his behavior to take control over YOUR life? Do not allow him nor anyone else, nor any other circumstance to govern YOU. 

STOP and walk away from the drama....Smile to yourself and say "I am stronger than this, then him and I am WORTH more to myself than a stupid soda or dysfunctional relationship. Love you first by taking care of you.  When your nicotine free, healthy, happy and no longer a slave to cigarettes something happens inside and people can see and sense a difference a mile away. It draws them to you because they want what you have........Just think about it.....

I care.....WE care.....

Miles of Smiles...

G.

[AnnetteMM]

[elvan]

Shadowluv420  Anger is a trigger for a LOT of us...or WAS.  We stuffed our feelings down and once we start to feel them...they just SEEM more intense and it is okay to be angry, it is okay to be sad, it is okay to FEEL.  Don't punish yourself for feeling.

Ellen