Relasped

[Momoffivesons]

I am so incredibly sad to report that I relapsed on my 18th day. I can't say why I had gone through a lot of emotional and stressful situations and remain strong. I was too embarrassed to post at the time I had relapsed but realized I need to get back on I need a lot of help and support because it seems so much harder I've tried for the last 4 days to do what I did the first time and it's not working. I had started with the 7 mg patch and was chewing gum used a rubber cigarette and cinnamon sticks. I understand I'm going through a divorce there's blah blah blah so much going on I recently moved into an apartment from a house and all of us are going through some kind of trial and tribulations and I'm no different or special. But I'm scared what if I can't do it this time are there any suggestions out there what I can do to get this going again this community means a lot to me, getting those texts everyday being able to come on here and hear people's journeys I have officially set my quick date for tomorrow today is my trying to space my vaping out every couple of hours to try to make it easier, I'm so angry with myself when I looked at my quick date it would have been 26 days today instead I'm starting from scratch. I've tricked myself I was an emotional wreck saw my son's vape pen picked it up and thought I could just take one hit what a joke what a mistake. I guess as an addict that's what I'm good at is lying to myself. I do have a question now I have been strongly vaping at the 5 mg juju pods and I'm wondering should I start at the 14 mg patch with breakthrough gum or should I do 4 mg gum with a 7 mg patch. Any and all advice encouragement would be so helpful. Thank you all for your continued support, and I'm so incredibly sorry that I got back on vaping. The other downside is I haven't smoked a regular cigarette for 2 years and it's real easy to kid the mind to say oh well I haven't done that and I've been vaping at first it was only once in awhile for the first 8 months, then it was full time. Just to give you an idea of how much I had been vaping. Sorry for the long post but I'm so heartbroken at myself disappointed angry and yet I know I need to start again but honestly that was the longest I'd ever gone without cheating or anything and was becoming able to deal with not vaping with talking on the phone and dealing with stressful situations I thought for sure I had it beat another lie to self. 

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Sorry that on the 18th day you smoked.  Quitting smoking requires a lot of work and determination.  I am not saying that you were not deteremined but it does take relearning our thinking about smoking and realizing that we are dealing with a drug addiction not just a habit.  Education is the key to a successful quit.  I hope that you can pull it back together as soon as possible.  The sooner the better.  It is going to take a no matter what is happening in my life attitude and commit to taking smoking off the table. SINAO.  smoking is not an option.  Do something different.  By consistently doing something different you will eventually get to the other side of not thinking that you have to have a smoke in order to get through life.  Keep it simple Revised  101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke 

[CommunityAdmin]

Be sure to update your quit date on https://www.becomeanex.org/my-ex-plan/ 

How old is your son? Does he have any interest in quitting?

[Momoffivesons]

My son that I'm living with is 26. And yes he is just gotten off of smoking cigarettes and went to vaping. Sadly the reason is that we move to a brand new apartment complex that allows no smoking so he and my other son started vaping, in place of cigarettes. He sees how disappointed I am in myself and is no longer going to keep his vape pen where I might be able to be tempted. Hoping that with this new quick date he too will try he promise that he would. He's recently lost 70 lb he doesn't drink alcohol or do drugs well that's a lie vaping. And I said he will focus next on that vice. I will post on my first official quit date tentatively I am trying for tomorrow but realistically Friday seems to be my target trying to find numerous things to keep me occupied. I can do this I will do this I have to do this. Repeating this every 5 minutes. 

[Kimshine]

@Momoffivesons addictions are very hard and tricky. Many times, we don't know how to deal with stress and smoking/vaping was the go-to. I just lost an almost 6 month quit. I smoked for about 2 weeks and I quit again Sunday night. Draw your line in the sand and get back on board. ❤️

[Barbscloud]

@Momoffivesons Sorry to here that.   I've searched for equivalents on how much NRT to use that's equal to vaping, but haven't found anything. 

" If you smoke more than 10 cigarettes per day, consider starting on the 21 mg patch".  10 cigarettes would equal about 10 mg of nicotine.   So, I would think it depends on how many 5 mg pods you're using in a day (I've never vaped).  But if you're getting the 10 mg. a day, you may need the 21 mg patch.

Stress probably is one of our biggest triggers and what you're experiencing with a divorce is one of the top 5 stressors in life.  Acknowledging that can be the first step in how to approach your quit. Go back and review you preparation.   What will you do when stress hits?  There are many options but most quitters find walking helpful and doing the deep breathing exercises.  Are you using anything to keep your mouth occupied?   Hard candy, gum, chewing on straws, etc.

Never be embarrassed about what you're experiencing.   Stay close to the site early on and reach out for HELP at the first sign of caving.  

Today is the day to begin again.   How are you doing?

Barb

[Momoffivesons]

Thank you for those encouraging words, I contacted my doctor and he's worked at a plan for me because of some health issues I had to make sure I wasn't using the nrt's wrongly either too much or too little being as I went back to vaping with a vengeance this time he has suggested a 14 mg patch for 2 weeks and 2 mg gum as breakthrough but he doesn't want me to chew more than three pieces a day. I do feel better knowing the doctor is watching me because when I first quit I use the nrts and I immediately put on 14 mg patch and was chewing the gum too much and I believe I was having too much nicotine going through my body and making me dizzy and feel sick. So 12:00 midnight tonight. I'm going to try to go to bed early tonight so it'll start sooner and when I wake up have the gum ready and hot tea no coffee and I'll probably log on to this site and read all the encouraging post that people have put to give me motivation. You are so incredibly right and I'm glad that you understand divorce is right up there and I'm ending a 45-year marriage . But on the plus side I am not living in the same house with him and that helps so much and as my son has pointed out to me that I've always pointed out to them we should count our blessings never look at our cup as half empty but half full never thought my sons were listening to me but evidently they were. 

[Barbscloud]

@Momoffivesons I glad you've consulted your doctor about the NRT. We're all unique individuals-isn't that a great thing to celebrate.  Glad your son is there to support you on this life journey.

Stay close and remember we're here for you.

Barb

[Snowdoggie]

I'm sorry that you vaped. Don't beat yourself up. It's in the past and you are moving toward the future. Forgive yourself and move on.

It sounds more like you saw the vape and decided to use it than stress to me. I practiced having cigarettes around me and not lighting them so that I would not be tempted by saying NOPE a lot. If your son's are going to vape around you you need to get used to it without using it. Develope a plan.

[Momoffivesons]

So true. They were just as disappointed because I saw it picked it up and used . My son is keeping it in his car. But rather embarrassed I was always the mom disciplining my children and now. Up notes Matthew has put his quit date as June 1st