Hi Stephen! Most of us feel exactly the same way that you do when we start to think about quitting. That's the mental addiction that causes our minds to be irrational. What kind of friend would make you smell bad, look bad, feel bad, feel embarassment, cause you to cough, waste your money, turn your fingernails and teeth yellow, drive you crazy when they were'nt around and finally try to kill you? None of us wants a friend like that, but that is exactly how this addiction plays out. The nicodemon will feed you thoughts that are totally irrational. The key is to learn how to deflect those thoughts with positive thoughts, such as, "Smoking is not an option." The best thing you can do is start working the EX program and determining your triggers, track your smoking, distract and divert from smoking and start changing your smoking routine around. Also read as much as you can -- watch some videos on YouTube about stopping smoking. Once you have put down the cigarettes and put up a post here, you will find an incredible amount of support from those of us who have also gone through the program and/or have stopped smoking!! Having people who care to boost you up makes all the difference in the world. So, on that note, I hope to see you here soon as a bonafide EX!
