My biggest trigger: Fighting with my spouse

[samantha16]

My honey and I are both trying to quit. Truth be told, she's been trying to quit for ages (sheer will, it seems, does not work). I'm new to the quit game and admit that I'm mainly doing it for her. Still yet, I want to really do it and am into making a game plan, which is obviously why I'm here.

I feel like can handle my other triggers (cocktails, big meals), but fighting is the absolute worst... usually, I'll take a break from the drama, have a smoke and try to gain some perspective... which is exactly what happened tonight. Does anyone have any advice for how to survive a big fight without the smokes when gum chewing just doesn't cut it?

[danielle28]

#1. Lock yourself in the bathroom, plug your ears and sing to yourself until you are calm.
#2. Stand at the end of your drive way and stare up at the sky until you are calm.
#3. Take an old magazine and sit down at the table......shred it to pieces until you are calm. (don't forget to clean up after yourself)
#4. Punch your pillow until you have no more energy to even think about smoking.
#5. Stick a whole handful of Red Hots in your mouth.
I know that these may sound stupid, but they are all some thing that I myself have done!!!!
I am the worst when it came to picking fights with my husband, and I did each and every one of these things just so I DIDN'T SMOKE!!! You can do just about anything instead of smoking.
Shove 5 pickles into your mouth!! Then there wont be room for a cigarette!! LOL!!
That one I didn't do, but it would still work!

[sally3]

Take a walk. That will calm you down. Also take some deep breaths!
I had a spat about a week ago. I cried got it out of my system and it was over!
Good luck!

[edith2]

oooohhhhh............I'm so glad I'm single! When you're having a big argument, ask yourself "how important is it?" Don't let people, places and things affect your quit. Life still happens after we quit, it's not all "happy happy, joy joy." But you can still quit. Keep an attitude of motivation and determination.

[danielle28]

I realised last night, that this exact topic is some thing I really really need to work on!!

[samantha16]

well, I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one. 🙂 I like your Red Hots idea... may try that one. thanks!

[jan__tx]

remember don't sweat the small stuff:) and remember the cigarette didn't stop the feelings:) so breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh:)

[samantha16]

if only the small stuff felt small in the heat of it. my spouse and i are both trying to quit. i've been tracking my smokes, trying to separate from the triggers and have set a quit date in march. neither one of us smoked the last three days, and last night we were both successful in not smoking when a stressful situation arose.

but then today, a fight ensued. and it got a little crazy. i reached for a cigarette and inhaled the whole thing without even thinking to wait a few minutes or to try an alternative like Red Hots or a walk. it did calm me down, but now, in addition to still being mad, i feel like crap for having smoked. and yet, i could easily smoke another. it's such a vicious circle!