MIA

[Gwenivere]

Hi everyone.  I haven’t posted in a long time.  I have been checking in tho.  I dropped to the 7mg patch in February and it has not been going well, even with the back up lozenges.  Coincidentally many emotional and other physical issues have come up too.  This has resulted in withdrawl as it’s all I think about.  I don’t really need any advice, but I sure need to just get out my frustration.  I’ve read so much about nicotine and withdrawl I could scream.  So much conflicting info out there when I question something I am feeling.  The very worst of this is being alone in real life.   2nd is the clockwork of symptoms so I know when bad times will hit, regarding smoking and the other issues.  It’s complicated too. That the list of too little and too much nicotine look about the same.   That I can do very little physically to distract or want to is depressing.  I’m discouraged also as I really don’t feel any benefits like everyone talks about.  4 months into this and I feel worse than I ever have.  It’s not just the quit, it’s the tangle of so many huge issues and losing steam to unravel them.  All I want to do is sleep.  Escape.  My whole world is medically centered and in sleep I am free!

[indingrl]

They gave YOU YOUR solution YAHOOOOOOO its about time!!!!!!! GOOD FOR YOU!

[maryfreecig]

Sorry life has sent you a boat load of you know what. Big hug and I'm keeping you in my thoughts. Ex is just a digital thing...souls are on the other end listening, empathizing with you. 

[Eyes65]

Praying for you!!!

[Bonnie]

No advice from me, just empathy...glad you did check in...and I certainly hope that things improve for you.  I know for me, the patches and the lozenges and the gum just made my withdrawal/mood swings/whatever more pronounced, and I think I thought more about nicotine using those "aids" then when I "just" smoked.  I have a tendency to be emotional and up-and-down anyway and I didn't need the lozenge and gum ups-and-downs, the constant thinking of "should I have a piece now?"and then the constant not-enough-nicotine of the patch (soooo many times I would just take one off and smoke a death stick and there went THAT quit)...I felt like I was torturing myself. I had a friend that used them all AND Wellbutrin and she did quit smoking using them....it is so hard to know...I just know for ME and MY monkey-mind, I had to make things really simple. 

The fact that you've persevered for four months shows that you really do want this...I just hope that somehow things get easier...and there is no harm in sleeping as far as I'm concerned...I just hope it gives you relief and strength to deal with the other stuff you've got going on....thanks for letting us know how you are.  Wish somehow I could do something for you.

[Gwenivere]

@Bonnie, it was pointed out to me I am not nicotine free for the over 4 months I have quit cigarettes.  Am I a non smoker? Yes.  Am I still a nicotine addict? Yes.  My goal was never to become nicotin free.  I’m finding I am too wimpy as I thought.  But I’m doing what the docs want and my body needs....no more smoke.  It’s the best I can do at this time.  But you are right, they do take up time thinking about.

[Barb102]

I’m so glad you checked in. I’ve thought about you and how you were doing. No advise from me. I know how hard it is. Wishing you an easier time and some relief. Gentle hug to you

[Barbscloud]

Gwen, quitters on this site have used no aid or different  aids to quit - Welbutrin, patches, gum, lozenges, inhalers, vaping, etc.   I don't feel like I'm in any position to judge what works for different people.  Some advocate for certain types of nicotine replacement and not others.  (I used Welbutrin and inhalers)   I know you're working with professionals, so what's important is what all of you agree on what's best for you.   I've said this before.  This is obviously not the ideal, but my doctor would have preferred me be on the nicotrol inhalers the rest of my life than continue to smoke.  I'm sorry you have such a hard time with other issues in your life.   Please continue to check in and let us know how you're doing.   

Barb

[Gwenivere]

My doc said the sane thing.  Use what ever works for as long as you want.  Nicotine isn’t the true demon, it’s the smoke and all that has been added to make it more addictive.  One step at a time for me.  I do grow weary of having pTches a part of my routine, but they beat cigs.  Barbscloud

[cob321]

Keeping the smoke out of your lungs seems like step one. Dealing with all the other complicated and interacting physical and emotional things seems like step 2. Having a vision for nic-free is probably good for the future. I am supporting your healing from all of it. I have my own version of complicated times and understand it gets blurry quick. I am using nrt and couldn't do it without. I have recently learned about psych cravings increasing over time and "No man's land" between 1 and 4 months. It's a hell realm of sorts that we all have to navigate, I guess. I know some days are okay for me and others I just want to die. I hope that you get more good ones than bad ones this week and, as challenging as it is, make progress towards your vision of life and health!

[Gwenivere]

Thank you cob3211.  I’m finding the NRTs carry a price too.  Of course they aren’t perfect, but they do cause me other problems.  I feel kind of trapped.  I eep trying to find ways to make this as tolerable as possible.  The days I want to die are outweighing any good ones.  But there are other stressors in play too that don’t have anything to do with this.   Blurry is an excellent description.  I had someone tell me to prioritize but my nature is geared to overload.  Patience has been lost as a virtue in this NMLand too.  But onward we go.