I need to vent a little, about 2020. First we (our country) started with hearing "possible pandemic" natterings at the begining. Then, in early March, we (hubs and I) went on a two-day visit to son and family which turned out a bit contentious (nothing new there). We get home and there is a note in our door from B-I-L making some wild accusations about hubs... again, nothing new but had to be dealt with mostly thru attorneys.
A week later my precious Sox, kittyboy, began acting odd for a few days (not eating, not grooming), and it was time for rabies shot anyways, so off to the vet. Well, turns out he had a large mass in his chest, probable lymphoma but they didn't know, off to another vet and testing, pretty much same thing. Best option after much vet consultation and heartbreaking soul search agreed to be to ease him out of his discomfort, which was devastating to us. That was the day before our whole county went on SIP lockdown.
We've been dealing with the lockdown pretty well, except exercise opportunities decreased, also dealing with B-I-L problems and threats as they arose (he barks a lot but has never actually bitten) and trying to get over the passing of our precious family member Kittyboy.
Now for the last day and a half, we're on evacuation warning from wildfire, friends have already been evacuated. We're preparing for the worst and hoping for the best since the fire departments are staging right across the highway from us, between us an the fires, but it's still stressful. LOL, I haven't thought of smoking, but we're choking on smoke anyways, plus ash 
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On the bright side, we're still in our home (for now), for one thing. A couple of weeks ago I had a follow up on my lung cancer which showed no changes, some resolution of an area that was of concern in February, so all is good there. Another bright side, as mentioned above, I haven't even thought of smoking. My children and grandchildren and loved ones are in good health, again a plus. I guess I could count family members individually to come up with more bright twinkles 
. B-I-L has backed off (for now) so that's good too.
So far, 2020 has been difficult, seems like one big dark cloud until I pull out the pluses 
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours marciem. Such a plateful of stress, AND, you have remained smoke-free, hooray for you!! ( BTW, I lived in north-central Washington State for 14 years where wild fires are a common summertime force like in California and Oregon. We were at level 3 one time and as we packed up to leave our land behind, we could see the flames licking over our back hill. It was like living a nightmare. But, by the grace of God, the winds changed at the last minute and we did not have to evacuate after all.)
May your life settle down, and soon!!
