I was hoping to come here with good news, positive news but sadly I come here feeling defeated and lost. While my mom recovered from the blood clots in her lungs and is doing well, my dad is now in the hospital. Dad suffers from dementia and because of this stopped taking his heart, diabetes and blood pressure meds and the meds we thought he was taking he hid in the couch cushions. Last Friday afternoon he laid down and he never left the bed all day and on Saturday afternoon fell when he tried to get up and hit his forehead on the floor. We called 911 and he was rushed to emergency.
Tests showed that he has a major UTI and failing kidneys. He could not talk and became highly aggressive and incoherent when he did speak. His weight dropped to below 130 pounds where normally he weighed in the 140's. To calm him they sedated him and he slept from Saturday to this morning. Friday morning he was alert and did laundry and within hours was out of it.
I feel like I'm constantly being pulled in all directions and he stress and sadness is overwhelming. Still, I did not give in and ignored that huge urge to smoke. How I didn't cave I don't know but I'm drawing from all the positive feedback from all of my friends here who have been on this journey with me. God bless you all.
This afternoon dad is going to a nursing home because mom can't take care of him and the aide isn't there at night. Moms fear is dad will die at home and none of us want that. We don't know how much time is left for him and his constant wish to die isn't helping his recovery 
Again, thank you for allowing me to vent my heart.
It is so hard to handle all that comes from one aging, ailing parent and you have been hit with both and hit hard. I'm so sorry, Ralph. It's a struggle to find any good when you're dealing with this. It sounds like you and your sister love your parents so much, which says so much about them as well. Hold tight to those good memories as you deal with the here and now. They will provide comfort and love. I bet your parents are proud of your quit 
Smoking changes nothing and I believe you know that. Your quit is precious, too. You've taken good care of it.
Prayers for you and your family! May you find the strength you need to get through this and may you find peace and comfort in the love you share with your family. ((((Ralph))))
Sheri
Well, dad was home from rehab for just two days when he began to go back to not eating or taking his meds. We had to take him back to the nursing home and admitted him; this time he will not be coming back home and will stay there. I feel that he has little time left and he'll get the care he needs there.
It's a difficult time for mom who wants to be with him but does not want to go to a nursing home but decided to go to assisted living instead I'm fighting with the decision to move her in with me but since my partner and I still work she'll be along all day. If she goes to assisted living she'll be around people her own age and be cared for if needed. Just don't know what to do.
It feels wrong because you're reminded of the years spent caring & providing for you by them. Know that they will be well taken care of. Get out to visit them as often as possible. You can make this a better time for them & yourself Ralph. Don't feel guilty just do what you can.
