IS THIS A TEST OF STRENGTH?

[Ralph1955]

  I was hoping to come here with good news, positive news but sadly I come here feeling defeated and lost.  While my mom recovered from the blood clots in her lungs and is doing well, my dad is now in the hospital.  Dad suffers from dementia and because of this stopped taking his heart, diabetes and blood pressure meds and the meds we thought he was taking he hid in the couch cushions.  Last Friday afternoon he laid down and he never left the bed all day and on Saturday afternoon fell when he tried to get up and hit his forehead on the floor.  We called 911 and he was rushed to emergency.

  Tests showed that he has a major UTI and failing kidneys.  He could not talk and became highly aggressive and incoherent when he did speak.  His weight dropped to below 130 pounds where normally he weighed in the 140's.  To calm him they sedated him and he slept from Saturday to this morning.  Friday morning he was alert and did laundry and within hours was out of it.

  I feel like I'm constantly being pulled in all directions and he stress and sadness is overwhelming.  Still, I did not give in and ignored that huge urge to smoke.  How I didn't cave I don't know but I'm drawing from all the positive feedback from all of my friends here who have been on this journey with me. God bless you all.

  This afternoon dad is going to a nursing home because mom can't take care of him and the aide isn't there at night.  Moms fear is dad will die at home and none of us want that.  We don't know how much time is left for him and his constant  wish to die isn't helping his recovery

 Again, thank you for allowing me to vent my heart.

[MarilynH]

I'm so sorry that you and your parents are having to deal with all of this BUT I'm so proud of you Ralph for hanging on tight to your precious quit, I'm sending up good thoughts and prayers for you and your parents and I'm sending you a humongous caring hug my friend and Fellow Exer and most definetly EXtended family.....

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Heartfelt thoughts and concern for what you are going through.  This is not easy. When so much is going wrong it is hard for me to have the appropriate answer/comment.  I am glad that you came here to vent.  Using your support system is vital at a time like this.   Even though the thoughts come it does not mean that you have to act upon them. Life happens.  I would tell myself.  "If I can get through this and not smoke, I know I will never pick up again".   Each time you do not smoke you do become stronger.  That is the strength that comes from the innermost part of us, it is there, we just have to be determined and we will tap into it like never before which is required to never give up. You will be glad that you did not quit on your quit.  God bless you and your family as you go through this trial in life. 

[maryfreecig]

That you aren't going to smoke is a big deal.

That you are connecting with your Dad is a big deal.

Stay close, nothing like being able to tell others your trouble. 

[sweetplt]

Gotcha in my Heart ... it all is tough I know ... so sorry ...  Colleen 

[indingrl]

Prayers lifted for your family and you Ralph. Thank you so much for sharing and for YOUR courage strength and perseverance dealing with life on life's terms.. WAY TO GO Ralph for staying a non smoker and dealing in His love with caring and understanding for YOURSELF and your parents needs and overcoming YOUR stresses and remaining strong in NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER- TOGETHER - Yahoooooo - gentle hug.

[Jennifer-Quit]

I know that these are difficult times for you.  It is not easy.  Sending good thoughts your way. Just remember that smoking would not change the situation in any way.  Best wishes.

[Christine13]

Hi Ralph, I as well am trying to take care of elderly parents.  My Dad just recently had a stint in the hospital.  (serious)

I want to put them in bubblewrap and protect them.  They are age 89 and 90.  It is extremely stressful taking care of parents.  I am glad you are getting closer to your Dad.  I find the caregiving and advocating I do, is because I want to.

It's not a burden when you love someone.  But........it is extremely stressful.  I'm so proud of you for not smoking.

[Ralph1955]

Thanks for the kind words. My dad will turn 95 in July and mom just turned 89 in November.  They are the last of the family. No one else lived to see their 70's or 80's.  They outlived them all.

[elvan]

I am so sorry that you are going through this and that your parents are as well.  Getting older is not easy and dementia is terrible to deal with.  I think the decision for him to go to a nursing home is a wise one for everyone.  DO keep an eye on his care there and make sure that it is adequate.  Smoking would not have helped you OR your parents.  You need to take care of yourself too, Ralph.  Thinking of you and sending many prayers for ALL of you.

Ellen

[Ralph1955]

He will be in good hands. My partner works in assisted living and Everyone in the field knows him and knows that if the care isn't there  THEY WILL HEAR IT   .