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Give and get support around quitting

RHRS
Member

I failed myself

Well, I failed myself. I was doing great being smoke free, exercising, losing weight and all, but since September I’ve been on a down spiral. You see, I was laid off last year and it’s been tough to find another job in my industry, so I decided to sell my house so I could move freely. I thought I was managing the situation well until I started drinking wine almost every night. And the wine led me to buy a pack of cigarettes and before I knew it, I was smoking half a pack every day with wine. Depression kicked in, gained 20lbs. And to make matters worse I came out to my siblings during Christmas and well, let’s just say I won’t be getting a birthday card this year. 

On March 15, after drinking half a bottle of wine and puffed 10 cigarettes, my throat started hurting and I couldn’t swallow so I rushed to an urgent care center. They ran some tests and the result was flu type a. Luckily I didn’t have fever, but it knocked me down for 5 days, which i used to kick the habit once again. 

I haven’t touched a cigarette since,  but this time I feel super tired all day, to the point of exhaustion, shortness of breath, can’t exercise as I used to, dry cough, and dizziness. 

I can’t tell if it’s depression, post flu symptoms, allergies, smoking withdrawal or something bad. Has anyone experienced all of this symptoms after quitting? 

Sorry for venting in here but needed to put it in writing. 

40 Replies
emilyt123078
Member

We fall down, we get back up again. We can't always do things magnificently, but that's how we learn about what's going on in our heart and head. If everything was flowing kindly towards us, we tend to forget where we're at in the most important areas of ourselves, so okay, get back on the horse, get in the attitude of what you learned through the process and get healthy again.  Hun, it's all a journey.