How to leave go of an old friend?

[jynx]

Been smoking for over 40 years. I was ready to quit and sucessfully did so March 9th (cold turkey, no meds). It was difficult but I did so and stayed off the cigs for 2 week. Then out of nowhere one night, no excuses, I felt I "HAD" to have one, and like a crack addict, I searched through waste baskets in my garage to find butts I could still light up to take a hit or two. So embarrassing while I was doing so, but I did, shaking my head in disbelief.

I can go for hours without a strong urge to smoke, then out of no where I start feeling tense, my chest gets tight, and it becomes overwhelming... all I can think of is getting a cigarette and taking just a puff or two.

I know I'm  past the addiction period, and realize it's a mental thing. For me it's like loosing a long-time friend, crazy as it sounds. As much as I want to quit, I can't imagine not smoking for the rest of my life. It feels as if smoking is a part of my life and it's so hard not to have it there. I look at my friends who don't smoke and envy them for never thinking about smoking.

I want to be a non-smoker... not a smoker who quit and misses it everyday!

How long does that take to sink in??????????

[lexielynn]

I think that the longer you smoke the harder it is to quit.Maybe everyone doesn't agree but thats just my opinion. I smoked for nine years and quit almost two weeks ago. I haven't had a cigarette but there have been times that were very HARD not to light up.I don't know if I'd say the addiction is over for you. I think it takes longer than two weeks to rid yourself of it and while habit has a lot to do with it, the habit of smoking itself is a part of the addiction. I feel so lost at times because I'm so used to lighting up when I get bored so that I will have something to DO. The whole "hand to mouth" motion so that I don't feel like I'm being so idle is gone and I feel so LOST. I am actually looking into the whole e-cigarette thing, I think I'm going to try to buy the kind with no nictoine in it just so I will have the whole "hand to mouth" motion that will keep my occupied and not have me sitting there thinking "Man I want a cigarette!" Just a suggestion. Maybe chewing some nicorette gum every time you get that urge may help....it certainly couldn't hurt. Just explore other options before you go digging in the trash, I have done that before too and its not fun lol. Made me feel like I was going crazy! Hope this helped a little. You can get through this!

[bobbie16]

I think I know what you mean. I haven't quit yet and it is hard to think that I will never have the comfort of my old friend. So, for now, while I am practising the delaying exercises, I am thinking about my new friend, a nice deep breath. Or maybe the new friend will be the reincarnation of the old friend.

Either way, I need to learn to calm down without nicotine. Everybody reccomends taking a deep breath, or ten of them, but so far the results are less than good.  I am hoping that changes. Maybe I need to add a mantra or something. Maybe I just need to give it some time to work.

Good luck. So far, I think you're doing great. Smoking the occassional butt isn't so awful Just don't go out and buy a pack ever again. You've come too far.

[jynx]

lexielynn and Bobbie ~ Thanks for your support! Love the idea of replacing my "old" friend with a "new" one! That certainly is a great way of thinking about the whole friend thing!

I'm going to have to do my homework and check out the delaying exercises. A friend suggested that I check-out the Joel Spitzer site. He has alot of (free) useful info. I printed quite a bit of it, and it all makes sense... especially the "never take another puff" ... sort of like the AA (Alcohol) thinking.

I enjoyed reading his stuff. If you want... check it out at whyquit.org.

Thanks again... I need all the help I can get and appreciate the fact that I'm not the only one struggling in this situation (I guess it's true... Misery loves company)  boy how great it would be to be a "I don't miss smoking" person!

[leadfoot]

Thank you for the whyquit.org information. After smoking nearly 19 years, I am almost two weeks in to my quit and I find that I really miss it. To the point where it makes me sad that I won't ever get to smoke again. Almost like mourning a lost friend. I completely understand how you feel jynx... i want to be a non smoker not a smoker who quit and misses it every day.

You are definitely not alone.

[jynx]

Leadfoot ~ I'm embarrased to admit... I really screwed up and bought a pack of cigs... no excuses, just a weak moment. I told myself I'd just keep them "in case" I really need one! STUPID! Same ol' thing as too many times before. I was doing so good and now this! I have to start all over again. Just as the WhyQuit link states... "neve take another puff" by now I'd be at almost 6 weeks and now to start all over again just ticks me off! All that time wasted! I find it even harder not to think of smoking when there are cigarettes available... ofcourse that's no big surprise!

One day at a time... Again!

I was so proud of myself, now I'm bummed!

I'd give anything to be free of this stupid curse!

Hang in there... Don't be weak like me and have to start all over from scratch! Obviously not worth the puff/s!

Back to day one!

[ladyfly]

i know what you mean leadfoot..i was two weeks in and had not had one puff..then bam..rough night at work and i left at 4 in the morning on my break and bought a pack..i said oh i 'll just smoke one and then i will have them i f ineed one another day..yeah yeah that does not work..been smoking like a freight train ever since! i just dont know waht to do anymore..i so want to quit but i just dont know how..i think i have tried everything..i have set another quit day for this weekend but i dont know if its gonna last or not it never does this will be the umpteenth time ive tried

[jynx]

Ladyfly ~ Why does your story sound good to me? Because (again) misery loves company! and... I guess it makes me feel less of a looser when I hear others are struggling as much as I am. Seems like I will never be able to be free of my "old friend" for good! Pathetic as that "friend" is!

BUT I know I must try this again and keep trying until I succeed.

Thanks to this forum to keeping me challenged.

[cherclay]

I, too, struggled with loosing that "old friend" when I decided to quit smoking.  It's been 7 1/2 months for me and I no longer miss that "old friend".  Oh,sure, thoughts of him pop up now and then (OK, every day) but I can now see that he's like that person we've all known that really takes the fun out of life!  Puts a cramp on things and bugs the hell out of you every day, all day long.  Pick, pick, pick - you can't do this because of me, you can't do that because of me - hahahaha.  Don't look so far into the future when dealing with the "quit".  Take it one hour at a time!  Say, I can make it thru this hour.  When you do, pat yourself on the back and say OK, I did good, now I'll make it thru another hour!   Keep yourself busy, especially during those trigger moments.  I found myself jumping up to do the dishes and clean the kitchen as soon as I was done eating.  It's gotten now that I can actually wait a while.  If you do find yourself needing to smoke, and it's really, really, bad, buy a pack, take one out and throw the rest away!  Do it quick and walk away.  Then smoke and don't kick yourself for falling.  Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start anew.  You can do it.  I smoked 1 to 1 1/2 packs a day for 40 years and I did it.

[jynx]

Cherclay ~ Thanks for your words of encouragement! I need all I can get! If others, like you, have quit, I know I can too. An hour at a time is a great way of looking at it, and starting this hour that's what I'm going to do! I would give anything to trade places with you! 7-1/2 months! Wow!!! Congratulations!... I've never made it that far... hopefully someday I'll be able to say the same thing!

Thanks to you all for keeping me honest and on the right track!