How do I stay quit?

[Daniela2016]

We heard it from our elders, the thought of smoking can come back any time, we experienced it too, but generally earlier in the recovery or so I thought!

Well, I was WRONG!

For a pretty long while now I could not walk more than 5-6 steps, still can’t. For the same reason, I have been working from home. And the weather in AZ is just beautiful right now, I miss being outside. So I got out on the patio after dinner, just sitting down, watching the dogs play.

And it hit me, it hit me hard: “A smoke would be good right now; this is not a craving, can’t be, it is just a thought, no need to worry, don’t need to act on it, oh, yes, but wouldn’t it be good to be able to have just one?, but I don’t do that anymore, I know, but I would really, really like one right now…if I ask hubby…he’ll get out and get me a pack…will he? Yeah, he never denied it to me, he bought my cigarettes for years, he asked me nicely or tried to tell me, it would be good for me to quit, but he never denied me a cigarette...darn, this is not going away, won’t let me enjoy a little time outside”

I had to do what I have been doing at the begging of my quit: I stood up and walked back in the house, and gave in to a craving for sugar, just finished some ice cream (not even my flavor, or my ice cream for that matter, I buy it for mom, I don’t even like ice cream that much, but if I have some it would be chocolate, and this was strawberry cream), and came here to share with you all.

332 DOFs today, and I had to apply the same strategy I had at the very beginning of my quit: stand up, and walk away from the place where the thought arose; and feed the hand to mouth habit with something else; not the healthy choice, but at this point it really did not matter; I had to do something drastic to make sure the powerful thought of smoking will go away.

Ice cream bowl in hand I came here and started typing…

Like Marilyn says all the time, we need to always remain vigilant; and if needed, apply the same principles we had in our tool box from the very first day we quit.

Because I know, because it happened to me before, there is no such thing as just one cigarette…

NOPE: not one puff ever again, the freedom I gained 332 days ago it is way to precious to give it away.

I am an EX and will stay one, as long as I have my mind in the right place!

[Daniela2016]

Thank you Thomas, "But Recovery is a lifelong journey Not a destination!" will forever be on my mind!  If I needed something to remind me of this, it was last night's episode.  And you know what, it just made me feel "grown up" when I accepted it for what it was, took the steps to get out of the state of mind I created (being bored, missing something, lost focus), and came here to share with my friends. And it did make me feel a better person for that, and established one more time my role here; for the sake of my own recovery, my own balance through sharing and teaching.  And I have learned that from all my EX friends!

[TerrieQuit]

Congratulations on 322 DOF! Way to keep it! I am very proud of you, Daniela! Keep doing what you're doing!  ~Terrie~

[Mike.n.Atlanta]

Attagirl Daniella. Proud of you.

KOKO,

M n @

[Daniela2016]

Thank you KOKO!!!

[crazymama_Lori]

EXcellent choice.  If I may share what I do, I acknowledge it as simply a thought.  when I allow that thought to dictate my actions, I've given that thought the power it doesn't deserve.  Some food for thought and something I've been doing.  I've noticed those hit me when I'm doing something I used to do when I was smoking that sparked up that memory.  I either direct my attention to something else or do something different but yet in the same place.  I.e., sitting in a different chair, if I was sitting at the time, get up.  Go water some plants.  Once you feel better and are able to get around easier, when that hits you, get up and play with the dogs, do some weeding, sweep the porch..... I think you get where I'm going.  You associate smoking with relaxing.  Find your favorite scent and dab it on a napkin or handkerchief and take little sniffs when the urge hits.  Before too long, that association with relaxation and smoking gets less and less.  it works, it really does

[Daniela2016]

Thanks Lori, I get what you mean, create new memories not involving smoking at the same spot linked in my mind with smoking from past history.  Sure, I'll try it next time (hopefully not too soon), even though I have already done other things not smoking related in the same spot on the patio, without having the old association pop in my mind.  I've spoken on the phone, and watched the dogs play, and just enjoying a sunset.

[elvan]

Good for you, Daniela.  Those thoughts may creep in at any time and some of them may seem pretty intense.  I have had them as well but I can promise you that if you don't allow smoking to own the outside, they will go away, they will not always be there.  The ice cream was certainly better than smoking, a tall glass of water would have been healthier but I can certainly understand not wanting to do the healthier thing when you feel like you are being ambushed.  You are doing this, my GOD, look how far you have come and how many people you have helped along the way.  It is awesome and so are you!

Much love,

Ellen

[Daniela2016]

Thank you so much Ellen, yes the ice cream did the trick, got me out of the hole I was in last night.  But lately I find myself craving more and more sugar.  It must be the hormone I have to take to replace what my own thyroid gland is not making...it is dry pig thyroid hormone...lol

[elvan]

Pigs are always hungry.  That really sounds awful.

[Daniela2016]

I was kidding Ellen, the hormone extract is the natural alternative to the synthetic drug.  And after being on one of the most destructive synthetic drug, I will go for the natural stuff any day of the week...It was a joke about the pig, but the hormone is really changing something in me, many things for the better, some not so much; will speak with the Dr about it when I see her.