Help

[Freedomcat]

I've been panicking the past few days. Almost constant in the past 48 hours. Feeling completely overwhelmed. Terrified, a sense of impending doom, clenching burning in my belly, mind racing, overwhelming grief. Dont feel safe anywhere. 

I havent felt this way I about 2.5 years when i had a breakdown and went on stress leave for a year. Its come back with my quit and the only thing I can think of doing that feels safe right now mlm is to smoke. It's my safe place. Its what I turned to whenever I was overwhelmed and consumed with panic in the past. It's what I turned to when my mom on died suddenly 19 years ago. Now I dont know where to turn and the grief and fear feel absolutely overwhelming. 

The idea of smoking seems better than this. I dont feel I can cope with life like this. 

And I dont know if any of you can really help me. But thought I'd try.  

[Gwenivere]

Oh yeah, I should do that.  I them back in without thinking about it.  They just looked like a box that has always been there.  

[Pawr]

Hi, Are you still smoke free? I've been off awhile and just want to see how you're doing. I'm not smoking but have put on some weight.  Thats6next I guess. Hope you're well.

[Gwenivere]

I am still smoke free, Pawr, thank you for asking.  I’m not nicotine free and may never be at this rate.  The quit exacerbated my hypothyroidism so everything is going bonkers physically.  Sorry to hear about the weight.  Hope it’s it’s not too discouraging.  Hope you are well otherwise.  I’m at 6 months.  What about you?

[Pawr]

6 months in a week. I'm still using the gum but have been cutting it down.  Probably will keep a piece handy for awhile 

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Re: Help

reply from Gwenivere in Conversations - View the full discussion

I am still smoke free, Pawr, thank you for asking.  I’m not nicotine free and may never be at this rate.  The quit exacerbated my hypothyroidism so everything is going bonkers physically.  Sorry to hear about the weight.  Hope it’s it’s not too discouraging.  Hope you are well otherwise.  I’m at 6 months.  What about you?

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[Freedomcat]

Thanks sweetplt‌. That is exactly what I have been focusing on. I've realized since I wrote this post 3 weeks ago that I can survive panic without smoking and that smoking isnt going to help. Without smoking as self medication, I finally have a chance to heal the underlying wounds and trauma. 

[YoungAtHeart]

Your growth on this journey is so important  - and I am so happy for you.  It's difficult to tell people about this journey to emotional freedom that is part of the quit process.  Yours is a wonderful description of it.

Most of us hid from our emotions behind that cloud of smoke, and coming out from behind it is truly a coming to the light moment.  Yours is starting to shine brightly and I am so glad you have shared your journey.  I am sure it will prove enlightening to others.

Nancy

[Freedomcat]

Thanks so much Nancy for your feedback. That's so nice to hear

[Barbscloud]

[Pawr]

Please accept my apologies for my inappropriate comments about your situation. I guess it's true that one of the side effects is being grouchy. I can't really relate to your situation and it sounds very difficult. I wish you the best and hope you found some of the responses helpful. Good luck

[Gwenivere]

Thank you.  That means a lot as we had always gotten along.  Everyone get s a pass on grouchy, I feel.  Good luck to you too.