HI Newbies

[schoney50]

Today I got an upsetting email from another member of EX questioning the motives of this group...are we all really here to quit smoking and support each other or is this just a social group???!!

I know that each one of the members of this group has told me why they are quitting..how they are quitting and we are becoming friends individually as well as in the group...everytime I get a message from one of you who tells me how you are getting through a stressful or happy time..every time I get a message of how your vacation went and what your results from physical tests are ..we connect in a way that only a group of people NEW to quitting can..Please blog on this site ....all of you...each one of the 44 members to prove to the ones who question if we are really sincere about becoming non smokers..just put your quit date and if it applies how many days since your last cigarette..and yes all the days before you slipped do count....you DID not smoke those days..and you did NOT give up and just go back to smoking....we are not weak people..we are STRONG!!!  This is not the first attempt to quit by many of the members but it is the LAST time we will quit because it DOES AND WILL WORK for all of us....TOGETHER!!!  I am on DAY 36 of not lighting up a cigarette and I love my life and I am proud that I am doing this...you can too!!

{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Barbara in SC (Schoney50)

[Joan_01-02-2015]

Tommy - as always I so appreciate your logical and professional input - and Nyima got it, nuff said.....................

Joan

Quit 2/2/13 (89 days)

[Strudel]

Barbara - The passion you are seeing here, in my opinion, is because so many of us recognize that unless we truly understand and accept that our life HAS TO BE LIVED using N.O.P.E. (Not One Puff Ever) as our motto and creed, all is lost! When I first came here I didn't quite "get it". My mind set was that I was going to "try", "give it my best shot", "hope for the best", etc. After reading about what NOPE really means - and thinking about it - I decided that I could only do this by staying determined to not ever have one puff. As Jooch (Judy) said, otherwise I would be doomed! That is the way my addict mind works...."oh just this once won't mess up anything"......and then things most likely would snowball from there! So many of us live in fear of that - so, like I said, that is why we are so very passionate about how we count our days!

[barbara42]

Barbara, it only makes sense to adopt the N.O.P.E. motto, that is where the danger lies and even after a long time down the road as a non smoker, just the thought of i have it beat and can do just one is what has ended many a quit. i personally do not ever want to put myself through quitting again and i know that if i did have just one, i would be back at smoking and probably would not ever quit again, so i gaurd this quit with evry thought that i may ever have and it is not worth it, so the N.O.P.E. motto is my life saving motto. !

[schoney50]

I had never heard of slipping, sliding, and NOPE...when I started this blog April 2, I had not had a cigarette for 7 days...then when I joined I was told to start at my QUIT DATE to count...then I took a cigarette lit it, got violently ill and never took another PUFF...so where do I start because if counting is the main thing on EX I do want to get it right and not confuse anyone else who is new here..I don't care at this point if I start again at day 1..not getting "credit" for all the 30+days I did not smoke doesn't matter to me..I am never smoking again....

I am a very strong willed person and I have defeated many tough things in my life..smoking is just one of them...when I understood the chemistry of cigarette components and the addiction to nicotine...and the cancer causing chemicals like embalming fluid and cough suppressants wrapped in cigarette paper and called smokes I made up my mind to quit before finding this website...I did get a prescription from my heart doctor for a nicotine replacement but after a few days I threw it out..why keep addicted to something that was not meant to be in your body..I am also vegetarian..have been for over 35 years...choice... not politics or humane reasons..I just felt better when I gave up meat and dairy...my husband loves steaks on the grill..which is fine with me..I do what I need to do for me..and have NO right to tell anyone else what to do...

The reason I started Newbies Together is I have a very sucessful online Facebook group of former classmates  that I researched and found by using my geneaology skills and now we are planning our 50th reunion..I am not a youngster!!  I also studied journalism.  So I know that research is the only way to make decisions that can better your life.

 In my Family tree I have documented with at least 3 sources for over 5,000 members who I am directly related to,,and there are no castles or fortunes in my background!  lol  IT took me over 12 years to accomplish this.

You know that NO ONE knows  your body and your stresses better than you do..but we all have found ways to cope and deal...that is why I wanted all of us NEWBIES to take this journey together..learn to become non smokers by researching together..finding out what works and what doesn't ..discussing our everyday triggers and sharing and supporting each other...these are my motives..

I hope this claifies the reasons I did start this group to Imadeer and Jonescarp aka dale.....As dale "accused" me of stating this group was popular...that is not by my doing..that is by the NOW 47 members who have joined and stayed and told others that we do NOT judge..we do NOT send rude and condemming messages because this is a place to heal from a horrible addction that we all share..And I did not nominate this group for the top 3 of over 11,000 groups...that was done by the administration...and I do not even know how to find out who they are !!!  So much for the research skills I have!

I intend to try and stay intouch with all of the members through personal messages because I have found such wonderful loving supportive friends who are enjoying every day as a non smoker..and we are trying hard to be good friends and keep breathing and smiling as we start our new deep breathing lives.

If you don't see me on here it is not that I have given up...but I want to help all of my friends that I have met and not be sidetracked by snarky messages and mean comments that are very unproductive.  I have sent a message to the "administration:" asking them to appoint someone else willing to be the public voice on this blog...anyone who would like to take over please contact them on the "Contact us" link at the bottom of the page.  Know that you are all in my thoughts and sending you lots of {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Barbara in SC

[joyeuxencore]

Barbara please don't run away or you will be like all the others that have come before you who did not want to re-set their clock after puffing on a cigarette...The problem is when a member smokes and just goes on as if that did not count it messes with new people...when I had 30 days a new member got drunk and smoked...he refused to re-set his clock because the quit date he chose was important to him...all of sudden after not even thinking about smoking crazy thoughts kicked into high gear for me...well..if HE can go out and get drunk on New Year's Eve and smoke and not have it count then I certainly would love just one more night of drinking and smoking too...I only have 30 days so what the hell...Mind you I had turned down all New Years plans and stayed home alone on EX so I would not be with friends drinking and compromise my quit...It is just not good for the community or the individual to not take responsibility for the 'one puff' or whatever it was...you aren't helping anyone if you lead them to believe a 'slip' is ok with no consequence. I don't remember seeing you post comments to newbies on the blogs...do you just hang out in your own group? Come join the whole community and forget about the personality conflicts...it is all in a spirit of helping I promise you that...some are just a bit more straighforward...xo

[Sootie]

Barbara-----for what it is worth, here is my "two cents"

I don't count. I have been quit smoking for about 3 1/2 years......not one puff. If you are quitting smoking and still smoking...you're doing it wrong. Any smoking is smoking.

HOWEVER, as far as forming a group for newbies....good for you! You can form any group you want to as can I and anyone else who is a member here. And, anyone can join. It would have been fun to have a newbie group when I first came on---so you go to it girl!

Finally, if you get private messages that upset you....click on that tag marked "delete" and definitely never click on that tag marked "reply" : ) Bottom line....in my opinion----the best way to handle people online who annoy you? Ignore them.

Stay strong.

[Jordan-11-1-12]

I think starting a group for newbies is a great thing...... but I don't think that the message you got asking if you're really serious about quitting was meant for the memebers of this group.  It was meant for YOU because you seem to be looking for people who agree with you.  Addicts do that to help themselves stay sick.