Was in this group about a year ago when it was more active. I am going to work the steps on this quit (blew 6 months on a trip to Vegas with my new smoke of choice- little grape cigars). I am 21 years in AA and have a solid program, but I am relearning about the addict that lives dormant in my head until I feed it something that triggers the phenomenon of craving. Once it starts, it takes over. I truly felt free of my most destructive addictions the 6 months I had smoke free. Then I thought a little cigar over a game of video poker or out on the golf course would be pretty harmless - I could be like one of those guys I work with that just enjoys a cigar now and then. Well- I am not a guy (a female), and I am also an addict. I can't do something "once in awhile". Once its in my system, I obsess and it takes over. I quit on Chantix last time, and I am now debating if I should get another scrip? I want to do this completely free of a crutch, but that worked really well for me, and I didn't even finish half the scrip because I got so nauseated and it so screwed up my much needed sleep. I want tomorrow to be my quit day, but I have actually set it out to January 24 when I have to travel for work and I will be out of my rut. I have been wanting it to be tomorrow since New Year's, but I am back on this site and I am getting the education and see the support and every minute that goes by I see to say "Just for this minute, I don't have to smoke". Made a decision, made a decision, made a decision... to turn our will and life over to the care of God. Blessings to everyone who is a friend of Bill W. Addiction hides in you and comes back when you least expect it.
