Frustrating Day & Fighting The Urge

[minihorses]

It has been a frustrating day. I seem to have a bad case of the 'sadim hcuot', a self-claimed coin of a phrase (a hint: it's the 'midas touch' backwards). I've been awake since 3 a.m. since my brain was on fast forward but the body was on WTF why am I up.  Many things I've tried to do today couldn't be done due to lack of supplies I thought I had, everyone here is sick, it's been raining all day too.  I'm late getting Christmas stuff going and when I went to write Christmas cards the box of 16 contained 6 that were fine and 10 that the message inside wasn't printed correctly and was barely readable! I've been in a pi$$y mood and even want to throw stuff!  My brain has been screaming at me to smoke.  The rest of me is telling my brain to shut up, it's just because I used to handle stress by smoking but now I don't and I just have to find another way to deal with it.  I'm relying on the good lord and all of you that gave me the greatest advice when I first started this journey.  No amount of anger or depression is helped in any way by putting a nasty cigarette in my mouth. It will just add to the anger because I messed up, make me more depressed because I felt lost and gave up the fight, and smoking is not my friend nor my comfort blanket, it wants my soul.  It is evil in the guise of relief. Why after 52 days am I trying to find a reason to go back?  Is it just a part of NML?  I cannot give in to the demon and I took the pledge that I wouldn't smoke today no matter what.  I am N.O.P.E-ing my little heart out today.  I will make this day a learning experience so I can look back and see that I didn't break down today so I can make it through the next one better.  Please send prayers for me to succeed in the battle for my freedom from the monster of smoking.  I'm working this quit but hanging on a few threads on the rope today. "NOPE Julie, NOPE Julie, NOPE Julie..."!

52 Days Without the Devil!!  Please help me make it to 53.  Thank you my friends.

[maryfreecig]

Making today a learning experience is good work. High five!

[shashort]

Wow your doing great on those 52 days of freedom.  Keep saying, screaming and shouting NOPE and follow the actions of not one puff ever and you will bring home success to day 52 won. You got this.

[KMC56]

N.O.P.E., forevermore!  It is sooo well worth the pat on the back each end of each day!  Youre not going crazy, and language isn`t an issue, mine was a bit more colorful in my N.M.L. days, and a few here and there!

You've got this!

~Kathy

[dwwms]

It's amazing the ways you're mind can work when you're in NML! I'd love to tell you that it's almost over, but it may be a while yet. The good news is the holidays will be over in a couple of weeks. Meanwhile, keep this thought in mind:

A good way to look at nicotine addiction is as a demon that is dying. 

Smoking urges are the demon struggling to get you to feed him. 

The longer he goes without being fed, the dimmer his voice gets. 

He will eventually starve to death. 

As he gets weaker, the strength he is losing is being transferred to you. 

You are gaining strength each time you are successful at not smoking!

[Sandy-9-17-17]

It would always be much easier if we smoked......BUT......................

We Don't Do That Anymore! 

N.O.P.E.

Keep telling yourself these words......Because smoking is not an option!!!!

Good job Julie, blogging, reading, and protecting your quit!  Proud of you!  

[minihorses]

Thanks! Another day WON!

[Sandy-9-17-17]

 Good job Julie!  You got this!  I especially like that you can look back on this blog and see how tough  you were/ARE!!! 

[Daniela2016]

Congrats for making it smoke free another day Julie!

You are doing the right things, coming here, writing the blog, responding to the comments...Al these activities are taking your mind off the obsessive thought that 1 cigarette will make it better!  We've all been there, we've all cried over "losing my best friend", but you've already learned it has never been our friend: it's been our most enraged enemy for all the years we smoked.

[Giulia]

Sometimes when I'm REALLY MAD I bark.  It helps.  And you can't walk around your house barking too long before you crack yourself up.  Which also helps.  ('Course someone might just cart you off to the funny farm, and put you in a straight jacket.  But you can't smoke in one of those so... either way it's a win.)  Forget the frustration and find the fun.  Today is temporary.  It will be over tomorrow.  Keep your quit.  That will make tomorrow better.

(My barking sounds something like this guy's.... it's not the ruff ruff ruff kind.)

Psycho Barking Old Man - Barking Ray - YouTube 

[Deb-EX]

That's HYSTERICAL.. OMG I am dying laughing!!