For Better or Worse... How do I quit when my husband still smokes?

[lisa49]

My quit date is July 4th, and I've removed the paraphernalia from my office and my car. But what about my house? I've tried to quit smoking before, but every time I see my husband light up, I want one too. He's offered to go to the garage where I can't see him instead of smoking on the patio, but I still see lighters, etc, and I still know he's going to smoke, which makes me want to smoke to smoke and to spend a few more minutes with him. What do I do?

[manofsteele]

Lisa....

Why are you quiting? You still sound more like you are being forced to quit and you are still glamourising cigarettes.

If you really want to quit it doesn't really matter what anyone else is doing. it is definatly harder and in most cases its better if both people quit together.

There is a video I have on the daily pledge group that helps you picture cigarettes in a different view. When you can start picturing cigarettes as Cancer, Chemo, Radiation, Hospitals, Nurses and Doctor visits you might stop wanting a smoke because it is poison and does not help you become smarter, wealthier, healthier or even smell better.

I have some good videos in the Tough Luv group and some great reading in the Words of Wisdom group that might also help you be more successful in your smoke free journey.

So originally I was just going to reply to your title....... "For Better or Worse" ....... but I think it also has ....till death .... so my first advice was going to be just kill him ....... but the cigarettes are already doing that ....just really slow.

U CAN DO THIS ..... Love yourself so much that you stop poisoning yourself anymore voluntarily

I will celebrate 51 months smoke free and luving it on July 4th ! and you can make it happen for you just like I did ....one day at a time !
peace

[karen19]

I thought I was the only smoker in my house. I did not realize how many cigars my husband would smoke in the past. It is at least two or three a night. I never realized it because he would smoke downstairs. He has asked me to stop smoking for years.He never nagged too much but he did complain. Here he was smoking all along! He figured it did not count or what?
I quit and he said "SAID" he would stop smoking the cigars in the house and only smoke them out bowling or golfing with the guys. It has not happened. I hated the smell before and now it is even worse. I have told him many times he had tonot do it in the house. I wanted support from him but now because I have gotten this far I think he is trying to get me to smoke again. I seriously do.
It is not fair and I hate it but I will NOT give in to it. I am not a smoker anymore.
If that picture on your post is your baby that should be reason enough for you to sitck with it!
do what you need to do for you.

[suzzy12345]

Congrats on your decision to quit. Educate your husband on the struggles quitters can have in quitting. Some smokers can be oblivious to what us quitters can go thru. It is great to hear that he is smoking outside but; ask him to ensure that he is not leaving any form of remenants around (ie: lighters, ashtrays). Also, tell your family how seeing remants can be a potential trigger - something of which you need to stay away from until you get stronger in your quit. Good luck, and remember - we are all here for you!!!

[sonja3]

I am new here and when my husband gets home from a long work week-he will be smoking around me. The funny thing is he wants me to quit-he doesn't think he smokes too much,I guess. I will ask him to not smoke around me,but when he finally gets home,he wants to relax and smoke when and where he wants. I don't blame him for this,I understand. But I will have a hard time for this reason among others.

[jim_taddeo]

Sonja and Debbie,
Debbie kows where I am with this exact same issue but my wife has learned that I'm not sitting in a smoke filled box with her. I love her with all my heart and soul but I quit so I WON'T die from smoking. I wish to God she would do the same but I am not compromising my choice, my health, or the health of my 5 year old that at this point has no choice yet. Also I am not telling anyone how to handle anything at all. I am just stating that I have and will stand my groud on this issue. No smoking in the house. Definitely no smoking in the car with me or Amara and I am willing to stop and wait while she smokes outside at a reststop or any place else but I'm never going to condone anyone forcing me to smoke with them. I NEVER did to the best of my ability when I smoked and I will not accept it from anyone else. I WILL LEAVE AND THEY ALL KNOW IT! She is very considerate about it today. 🙂 I've been called a hypocrite and any other number of names that I'll just be nice about and I've even been called out to fight. SO BE IT! I will fight to stand up for my right to be smoke free. I will not go invading publicly condoned smoking areas but I will hold my ground in the private sector. Just my two cents. Besides anyone who thinks they don't smoke too much is LYING to themselves. ANY SMOKING IS TOO MUCH and if it is a regular thing it is addiction plain and simple. These are just my personal opinions and beliefs. 🙂
Jim

[heather-n]

I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW THIS TOO!! my hubby smokes and I set my quit date up for while he is on his hunting trip hoping that will help.. But I dont know last time I quit I could not even kiss him. When I did not smoke I could smell it alot more. Anyone know how to handle this last time it did not go well for me.