Emotional Threats to NOPE

[tsmith6105]

The past few days have been a struggle for me emotionally and this has caused me to think about not smoking more than I'd prefer. When things are going relatively well for me, or if I feel like I'm in control of my life to some degree, I can go hours without thinking about smoking even though I'm still a newbie quitter (18 days today)... and therefore, my need to consciously think about not smoking is much less powerful. I know that sounds weird but I think these past few weeks of abstinence have started to change the way I think about smoking. I have more thoughts about wanting to not smoke than I do about wanting to smoke. Semantics perhaps but I'm going with it...

Anyway, these last few days have been full of moments where I'm just like, DAMN i want a cigarette right now! And it's mostly been purely situational stuff pertaining to my ex-wife and dealing with all the emotional crap associated with my recent divorce. Inter-personal relationship stuff; conversations, arguments, stand-offs etc. So I've noticed that when I get triggered emotionally, I'm much more likely to say screw it, and give myself the luxury of a negative thought... and it spirals from there. And then I'm forced to really think about NOT smoking a lot! Almost as if I have to go back to Day 1 and go through my list of quit aides all over again. Deep breathes, chugging water, counting red things in the room etc. 

It's been frustrating to say the least but at the same time I'm so glad I haven't given in. I had a moment last night where I literally had to start talking to myself out loud and saying NOPE. And I was getting angry about it... like I was mad at myself for deciding to quit in the middle of a crisis like this! But then it passed... and now today is here... and I didn't smoke... and that is good. And all the emotional BS that I've let myself get sucked into, and had to endure, and probably brought half of on myself, has passed... for now. It's sure to continue but I'll be more prepared for it today than I was yesterday. And tomorrow even more so... and so it goes. A new life, a new normal, a new day... always one at a time though

Trevor

[Barbscloud]

Trevor, you're doing great.  What you're feeling now is normal.   It does take time for these psychological urges to ease up--not saying they'll ever go away.   Relationship turmoil can be difficult--just remember you're not hurting her/him if you smoke, your hurting yourself.

95DOF

[Lisaml]

 I’m sorry, Trevor that you’re getting hit with all these triggers and stress. To quit smoking during a divorce is probably a new precedent and you are killing it! 

Just hang on tight and know that you’ve got this. 

Gou are starting this new life, and smoking doesn’t play a part in it. Xoxo 

[KMC56]

Sorry Trevor that your life is in tangles, but you did mention your children...they're worth it right?

I'm going through a similar situation..in our cse..after many years..we reached the expiration date.  No reason to smoke about it...not worth it.  I'm still taking it one day at a time,I figure I control what goesin my body, took 40 years...but im 2+ years smoke free!

~Kath6

[maryfreecig]

      Better to sort yourself out (which you did--high five) then to fall apart and smoke. Good job---I know it is not easy, but keep repeating what you did right to stay smober. The pieces will come together.

[Barb102]

Hi Trevor. I just want to see how you are doing. I hope it’s getting better for you. We are here to support you

Barb

[tsmith6105]

Hi Barb... Doing much better thanks! Made it through the weekend fairly well... had some moments for sure but I didn't smoke!

It really is amazing what a difference a few days can make when dealing with emotional stuff... I need to remember this whenever I feel like my life is falling apart. Time changes the way we feel and allows us to see things in a different perspective... not always the easiest thing to remember! 

[tsmith6105]

Thanks Jackie! I needed to hear that... and I actually did yell at myself a little over the weekend  

[tsmith6105]

Thanks Daniela! Great advice, I really appreciate it!

[tsmith6105]

Thanks so much Ellen! I actually did the same prayer this weekend after reading your reply... and it definitely helped a lot! Mental obsession is a interesting thing... and I'll probably use this prayer for more than just obsessing about cigarettes!  Much appreciated! T

[Barb102]

Glad you’re doing well. Remember how strong you were and how you did get through it. It helps to be able to look back at those time when you need some strength. You are going to be fine. One day at a time and do the daily pledge. 

Barb