Emotional Threats to NOPE

[tsmith6105]

The past few days have been a struggle for me emotionally and this has caused me to think about not smoking more than I'd prefer. When things are going relatively well for me, or if I feel like I'm in control of my life to some degree, I can go hours without thinking about smoking even though I'm still a newbie quitter (18 days today)... and therefore, my need to consciously think about not smoking is much less powerful. I know that sounds weird but I think these past few weeks of abstinence have started to change the way I think about smoking. I have more thoughts about wanting to not smoke than I do about wanting to smoke. Semantics perhaps but I'm going with it...

Anyway, these last few days have been full of moments where I'm just like, DAMN i want a cigarette right now! And it's mostly been purely situational stuff pertaining to my ex-wife and dealing with all the emotional crap associated with my recent divorce. Inter-personal relationship stuff; conversations, arguments, stand-offs etc. So I've noticed that when I get triggered emotionally, I'm much more likely to say screw it, and give myself the luxury of a negative thought... and it spirals from there. And then I'm forced to really think about NOT smoking a lot! Almost as if I have to go back to Day 1 and go through my list of quit aides all over again. Deep breathes, chugging water, counting red things in the room etc. 

It's been frustrating to say the least but at the same time I'm so glad I haven't given in. I had a moment last night where I literally had to start talking to myself out loud and saying NOPE. And I was getting angry about it... like I was mad at myself for deciding to quit in the middle of a crisis like this! But then it passed... and now today is here... and I didn't smoke... and that is good. And all the emotional BS that I've let myself get sucked into, and had to endure, and probably brought half of on myself, has passed... for now. It's sure to continue but I'll be more prepared for it today than I was yesterday. And tomorrow even more so... and so it goes. A new life, a new normal, a new day... always one at a time though

Trevor

[Barb102]

You are doing great Trevor. It’s the nic demon and u got it beat. One day at a time makes you stronger for the next day

Barb

[JACKIE1-25-15]

I am very sorry that you are going through an emotional rollercoaster.  Life is like that one day up and one day down.  The only difference now you are learning how to live life without smoking while going through.  You can make it. You are going to be a stronger better person for it.   Just wait and see. You can do this.  Yes, you can.  We need someone like you that is going through, to tell others that they can because you did..  NOPE will keep you free. It is okay to talk to yourself. Heck, I use to yell at myself.  LOUD! Self talk is a really good tool, The journey continues. You are working your quit. Keep working it. That is what it takes. 

[RachelMB]

Trevor-

Great job on working through it!    Some days will definitely be like that but they are only one day.  It gets easier as the days go by.  You did the right thing by coming here and talking about it.  You've so got this!

Rachel

[Daniela2016]

All is good with the world, you kept your quit, no matter what.  Things will get easier, even if you are going through life challenges; so many of us did at the beginning of our quits, but we made it.

Read about NML, /blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months , it will help.

Come here often and talk to someone, there will always be someone here you can speak with till the urge passes.

Exchange phone numbers in an IM so you have always a buddy you can call and talk about stuff to make it easier to get through it. I'd be happy to be that person, please let me know.

Otherwise, congrats on the most difficult 18 days of your quit, you are doing great!

Daniela

[Giulia]

Trevor, I've had moments even after years of being quit when I've had to pull out my tool box full of quit aids.  That's what the tool box is for.  And there's not a thing wrong with employing it.  Even years after we've quit.  Sometimes we just get knocked upside the head with a doozie of a craving.  You're 18 days into this journey.  You're still in the baby crawling stage.  You're weaning yourself off your ciggy binky.  Takes time.  You do whatever you need to, talk out loud, stand on your head, say the alphabet backwards, write "I will not smoke!" 100 times on a piece of paper, see how long you can hold your breath....  just don't smoke.  

You've got this.  If you want it.  

[YoungAtHeart]

I actually had a smoking "thought" today - out of the blue - BAM!  I was vacuuming the kitchen (where I used to smoke under a commercial exhaust fan).  I probably used to chain smoke while cleaning in there, with the ashtray under the hood.  Wasn't much to get over, but it was there nonetheless - almost six YEARS after my last cigarette!!

Don't let those thoughts concern you - acting on them is optional!!!

Nancy

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I have something for you Trevor.

Every time you think of smoking, say "I don't do that anymore."

Do it every time and do it for a full week and see if that doesn't retrain your thinking. 

[Lauralives]

Trevor, you are so brave!  Every time you say NO to smoking you get stronger and stronger.  You have a strong support group here!  You are doing great!  Laura

[elvan]

It gets easier...I remember wanting to scream WHEN?  At the beginning of my quit but I can tell you that no one lied to me, it DID get easier.  I felt like the ONLY thing I thought about was  smoking and I could not remember thinking about anything else.  I don't know if I thought about smoking or NOT smoking but I felt like I was losing my mind.  My husband, a recovering alcoholic for over 33 years and a recovering smoker for over 28 told me to get down on my knees and pray to have the mental obsession removed.  I remember thinking, SERIOUSLY?  I really did not think it was going to help but I DID it...I got down on my knees and I prayed and I prayed and I prayed because I knew that I absolutely did not want to smoke...I knew that I WOULDN'T smoke...I just wanted to stop THINKING about it. It worked.  I won't tell you that there were not times when I had to repeat it but I KNEW it worked.  I said the Serenity Prayer over and over again and NOPE was my mantra...I also LOVED and STILL love OldBones-Larry‌ advice, "One step and then another, will get you to where you want to be."  You can do this, Trevor and we are all here to help you in any way that we can...

Ellen