Do You Have People Ignoring Your Quit?

[Bellegonia]

My Honey has been ignoring my quit. I finally asked him the other night at dinner... why isn't he mentioning what it's like to live with a nonsmoker? Why isn't he telling me every day what a great job I'm doing? Isn't he proud of me?

He doesn't smoke cigarettes, but he is a daily THC user. I never got into THC. He said because he didn't want to "jinx" me... and that he is jelouse. It's funny because he's the one who told me that all I needed to quit was sheer will power. AND WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT SUPPORT EXPECTATIONS PRIOR TO THE QUIT. I find that really odd and funny now, looking from the back side. The other night we had a different conversation now that I can talk like a REAL QUITTER and not someone who's trying to quit... it was centered around the ADDICTION, JUNKIE TALK and how selfish a quit HAS to be. I realized that as nice as it would be to have him cheering me on all day, every day - it would get pretty annoying eventually and that this QUIT is a personal and exclusive, selfish journey.

What has your experience been?

What were you expecting from your loved ones?

What advise would you give them as to how best support you?

[virgomama]

I have a smoking partner also.  He is being respectful of my quit.  But I have to say that until you're a non smoker you don't realize the subtle ways you can be triggered.  For example, he smokes out in the shop.  Which is great to keep the house smoke free, but I still have to go out in the shop.  So I see the ashtray, smell the old smoke, and bam there's the crave.  I tell myself in those moments that he still chooses the addiction I don't.  Perhaps your partner's defensiveness is partly due to denial of his own addiction.  You're absolutely right.  His support, while it would be nice, is not necessary for your success. 

The support I receive on this site from others who have been there before is my main quit support.  Kuddos to you.  You've got this.

Cindy

6 DOF

[elvan]

Tawny‌ Your smoking husband doesn't smoke because he WANTS to smoke, he smokes because he HAS to.  He is an addict in the throes of the addiction.  YOU, on the other hand, are almost at 100 days which is TRIPLE DIGITS.  Come and celebrate here, seriously, staying close to the site gives an enormous amount of support AND is so helpful that I cannot possibly begin to sing its praises  loudly enough.  After smoking for 47 years and repeatedly trying to quit, I had so many failed quits that I lost count, once I got so sick that the choice was really taken out of my hands (unless I really WANTED to die)...I came to EX every morning and every evening and I read blogs, commented, and asked for advice and when it was given, I paid attention.  It has been over 4 1/2 years since I smoked and I have never regretted it.  My husband quit close to 30 years ago, he was very supportive.  I DO hope that your husband does not smoke in your home, you deserve a home with clean air.

Ellen

[jconfusion]

I wasn't really given a choice either, chaos is my furrbaby.

[autumnpepper]

100 days is awesome!  My quit date is tomorrow, but I already smoked my last. Seeing all these people here who have quit for long periods of time, even many years, gives us newbies such hope!

Way to go! 

[Barbscloud]

I can associate.  Congrats on your 94 days.  

[pgroce]

Question #1.....I once stopped smoking for eight days and my wife never even noticed. I did smoke in front of her .

Question # 2.….Motivation to keep smoking.

Question # 3.…..Maybe a once a week or every few days, inquiring as to how it's going.