Do You Have People Ignoring Your Quit?

[Bellegonia]

My Honey has been ignoring my quit. I finally asked him the other night at dinner... why isn't he mentioning what it's like to live with a nonsmoker? Why isn't he telling me every day what a great job I'm doing? Isn't he proud of me?

He doesn't smoke cigarettes, but he is a daily THC user. I never got into THC. He said because he didn't want to "jinx" me... and that he is jelouse. It's funny because he's the one who told me that all I needed to quit was sheer will power. AND WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT SUPPORT EXPECTATIONS PRIOR TO THE QUIT. I find that really odd and funny now, looking from the back side. The other night we had a different conversation now that I can talk like a REAL QUITTER and not someone who's trying to quit... it was centered around the ADDICTION, JUNKIE TALK and how selfish a quit HAS to be. I realized that as nice as it would be to have him cheering me on all day, every day - it would get pretty annoying eventually and that this QUIT is a personal and exclusive, selfish journey.

What has your experience been?

What were you expecting from your loved ones?

What advise would you give them as to how best support you?

[elvan]

My family was very supportive but I had been so sick that they were terrified.  I had many failed quits in the past and I found "cheerleaders" to be more of an annoyance than a help.  "How's your quit going?"  "So, how long has it been, do you think about smoking all the time?"  I actually had a friend's father tell me that he quit for 8 years and he wanted a cigarette every single day of his quit...he went back to smoking and is on oxygen 24/7 and recently began hospice care.  He asked me after I had been quit for two years if I thought about smoking all the time and when I said that I did not because I have EX and I have the support of people who have been where I am...he shouted "BULL SH*T!" at me and I told him that I wouldn't lie to him.  Once I accepted that smoking did not do anything FOR me but I had to admit what it had done TO me...it became a whole different story.  I did not fight to keep this quit...I had fought that battle in the past and I always wore out but the addiction did not.  This is my forever quit and I know my family is very supportive.  My oldest daughter and my son have both quit smoking and I could not be more proud of them!

[YoungAtHeart]

People who have never smoked have ZERO idea how difficult an addiction it is from which to break free.  They think of it (if at all) like a habit we should just simply stop doing -  only needing willpower.

They aren't as proud of us as they should be because they have no idea of the challenges and how all encompassing of an addiction it is.

Don't take it personally!

Nancy

[elvan]

That same person who accused me of lying to him when I said that I don't think of cigarettes all the time yelled at me back when I was still smoking and I said that smoking was an addiction...he said, "I am NO ADDICT!"

[YoungAtHeart]

How little he knew!

(and I bet HE is still smoking - but thinks he can give it up whenever he wants!)

[SaraCorinne]

I don't get a lot of way to go's or great job from my husband and daughter but let me say I feel like a cigarette and my daughter yells NO!  I told my husband just the other day, I only want one cigarette.  He said, that's not the way it works, you'd smoke the whole pack and you know it, then you'd be back to square one!  

My husband actually quit smoking cigars the same day I quit but didn't tell me, I just noticed a couple days ago and I have a 45 day quit going on!  Can anyone say, "self absorbed"?! 

[autumnpepper]

Congratulations on your 45 days that is awesome!  With your attitude nothing can stop you.  

[jconfusion]

well I live alone, and became a hermit.  I was smoking cigs and pot but when I quit cigs I had to quit pot too, I have multiple sclerosis and I got a medical pot card but it just made me stupid and hungry and it wasn't helping me with my nerve pain.  actually I live with chaos lol hes my longest relationship ive ever had. lol he is my soulmate.

[jconfusion]

I even had a argument with a friend because he wanted tosmoke in my apartment I told him no.  I just had my place painted to get the smell of old cigs out of myplace.

[autumnpepper]

Good for you!  

[kristen-9-7-15]

I was a closet smoker, single, and no kids so my support are my virtual friends here and my closest friends that knew I smoked. In the early stages of my quit, I wanted to celebrate every hour!  Now after 3 years I don’t get praised by my friends and I don’t want it. I want to be treated like a non-smoker. I want people to forget I ever smoked. Being acknowledged that I had a milestone on this site is great but in the real world treat me as if I never smoked.