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Give and get support around quitting

lyndafitz
Member

Can anyone tell me why it is sad

Can anyone tell me why it is sad to think of a future without smoking? I haven’t reached my quit date yet, but I’m getting close. I just don’t understand — because I hate smoking – why it feels like life without a cigarette would be sad.

54 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

Welcome to our community!

Smoking is a "friend" we turned to when we were sad, or bored, or hurt, or unhappy.  It was company when we were happy, and celebrating, and joyous.  We miss it when we first quit.  But think about it!   Would you actually stay friends with someone who was robbing you of your money, your health, your self respect, your time?  I think not.  Read on and you should gain a better understanding of this addiction of ours.

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested in My Quit Plan http://www.becomeanex.org/my-quit-plan.php

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

lyndafitz
Member

I can’t tell you how much your messages help. I don’t feel alone in what I’m doing, and your support is stupendous. With you guys, I know I can quit.

Lynda Fitzgerald

Author, LIVE Series

www.fitzgeraldwrites.com

Sent from my iPhone. Please excuse any typos or "auto corrects."

lyndafitz
Member

It helps more than I can tell you that I have people supporting me. I love these messages.

Lynda Fitzgerald

Author, LIVE Series

www.fitzgeraldwrites.com

Sent from my iPhone. Please excuse any typos or "auto corrects."

0 Kudos
Barbscloud
Member

Hi lyndafitz.  I'm on day 44 and it still feels that way at times.  If you read other posts and quit smoking info, it's actually very common.  Quitting smoking is like losing a best friend.  It's attached to everything we do, whether it's negative or positive.  Physically there are connections to receptors in our brain, and of course emotionally, we think it relieves our stress  as well as rewarding us for a job well done.  This sadness, or actually fear, is was makes it so difficult for people to quit.  How can I  function in so many situations without a cigarette?  Don't let that stop you from trying.  I'm sure you'll hear from the elders soon with lots of good information, support,  and encouragement.  

It's not easy, but stay the course.  The support you'll receive from the folks on this site will make it possible.  It has for me.  Ask for help when you need it!

Mandolinrain
Member

Well first off, welcome to EX!

I remember feeling that way as well. I thought...I will never be able to relax again but I truly felt I enjoyed smoking...but then again did?..  

i was so jealous of people who smoked and quit and I wanted what they had, but I always failed when I tried. always.

Now I never think of them and I relax just fine without them and have more fun than I ever did.

This site taught me the road to quit chasing my tail. I learned about the receptors in my brain and how they were woken up every time I smoked a cigarette that would increase my desire for the next one and the next one and so on....

My friend, I recommend you read the Allen Carrs book above. It will teach you about the receptors. It is a very quick read and SO POWERFUL! Read everything you can on this site. Get and stay active here. You will be helped and supported beyond belief. Amazing group we have.

Know and understand the addiction, get prepared ( as you will learn) to know what to do when the craves come. GET all of this knowledge in your head BEFORE you quit. It will make the transition a lot easier.

Hope we see a lot of you. We have your back

elvan
Member

This is a powerful addiction and when we plan to quit, the addiction gets louder and louder.  I, too, hated smoking and wanted very much to quit.  Thanks to this site and the people here, I have been quit for over 4 years after smoking for 47 years and having more than one failed quit.  This site puts things into perspective and the support is amazing.  We tended to think of cigarettes as a best friend...one with a gun at our head...that's no friend.  The rewards from quitting far outweigh the sadness and the fear at the beginning.

Welcome to EX...please read all that you can about nicotine addiction, pay attention to all that YoungAtHeart‌ has recommended.  Read blogs, stay close to the site...it WILL help you.  

Ellen

lyndafitz
Member

I HATE Smoking. It’s nasty and dirty and is going to destroy my health if I don’t quit. I have to wonder what’s wrong with me that that isn’t enough to stop.

Lynda Fitzgerald

Author, LIVE Series

www.fitzgeraldwrites.com

Sent from my iPhone. Please excuse any typos or "auto corrects."

0 Kudos
desiree465
Member

I still get those feelings sometimes. It usually happens when I'm doing something for the first time without smoking. Like now that it's been nice weather I used to take my dog for long walks and chain smoke. The first day I was able to take him on a nice long walk I remember thinking at first "oh man I miss being able to smoke". It's sick and it defeats the purpose of doing something good for myself. I let myself be sad for a minute and then I moved on and by the time we were finished I didn't miss it or feel bad that I couldn't smoke on our walk. It was way more enjoyable without it. But that's addiction for you. It makes you have these crazy thoughts and feelings. Only part of quitting is not picking up a cigarette but it's also relearning how to live without that crutch. And recognizing those feelings of sadness, feel them, and then move on. 

Giulia
Member

Welcome.  I think part of it has to do with the fact that going through life without a cigarette is a big change.  We're not sure who we'll be without a cigarette because it's been a part of our lives for so long.  Who are we without a cigarette?  And too, we feel like we're "giving up" something we enjoy.  In some cases it feels like the only consistently enjoyable thing in our lives.  We have also made it our coping mechanism.

What you will learn here is that the "enjoyment" is only the feeding of the nicotine receptors when they become depleted. We don't lose ourselves when we stop smoking.  On the contrary, we gain our true selves.  Stick with us.  You'll come to realize there is absolutely NOTHING to be sad about.