Angry all the time, wish it would stop

[mcallanan9]

I seem to have no patience.  I’ve smoked for 46 years.  At times I smoked a lot less but in the past 6 months I’ve increased to over a pack a day.   I already have COPD and that didn’t stop me.  I just found out I have bone loss in my jaw and have to quit to her a bone graft.  Have been trying for the past week and a half but keep relapsing,  

i so angry all the time, then get riled up and want to smoke.   Wish I could separate from this self destructiveness.  Any words of wisdom?

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

What you are feeling is a normal part of the withdrawal process.  It WILL get easier and those feelings WILL decrease, but you have to be willing to stay the course and learn to deal with life's everyday tensions without smoking.  Exercise and slow/deep breathing will help.  Read on to understand what is going on in!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for four reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion,  3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire and 4) you can become addicted to that and it has not yet been proven safe .
 

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[MarilynH]

Welcome to the community please read the links suggested above me and keep reading everything you can because there's a wealth of information right here on this site to strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb permanently it's not easy by any stretch of the imagination BUT it's Doable, you can do this quit believe it deep breaths and  know that we're all here to help you in any way we can......

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Congratulations on finding this site.  You have come to the right place to get support to help you quit smoking.  Of course you have to be willing to do what is necessary not to smoke. NOPE not one puff ever.  Sounds easy right? It is not easy but it is doable with the right tools. Education is the key to be successful in quitting smoking.  Here is a very quick lesson to start.   HALT hungry angry lonely tired are triggers.  Bascially you have to stop,(HALT) think and recognize what is going on instead of immediately taking another puff.  The ability to this does not happen overnight.  We have to relearn and reprogram our thinking to do other things instead of smoke. /blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke?sr=search&searchId=4763... .  We have to become mindful of what is happening and not rush to smoke. Smoking has caused us to not really face our emotions. We cover them in smoke. We have to start thinking like a nonsmoker.  What would a nonsmoker do? question to ourselves.  I would suggest that you read, study and ask questions. Bookend your days here.  There is a lot to learn. You just have to be willing to have an open mind. My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX work on a plan. Welcome to EX https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex/blog/2013/08/11/foundation-for-a-successful-qui...‌

[Roj]

Allen Carr’s “the easy way to stop smoking” will change everything...you can read it online...

[constanceclum]

Welcome and congratulations on making the decision on freedom from nicotine. I am 61, smoked about 30 cigs a day for 48 yrs. I was diagnosed with copd over a decade ago and smoked my way into end stage copd. It took about 7 weeks of tough struggling and then I came out on the otherside. Just occassional mild cravings and I go long periods without even thinking about it. I was very impatient! So what? Be impatient. Impatience won't kill you. Continued smoking will.

Connie

[sweetplt]

Hello and Welcome to Ex’s mcallanan9 

You have received some great advice above me...I hope you do the readings and the work.  Anger can be a part of the journey...but you need to work through it...and Not smoke...ie., learn breathing techniques...(slowing breathing in your nose and exhale through your lips, repeat), find a free Meditation site on line and learn how to meditate...etc., 

Donot allow yourself the choice to smoke...divert yourself and do something else when you get the urge...You can do this...You and Your Health are worth the Quit...Keep close to the support site to encourage others on this journey and to get help...Happy Friday ~ Colleen ~ 305 DOF 

[Barbscloud]

As already said, it's so important to understand nicotine addiction and create a quit plan.  Set a quit date and prepare in advance.  It seems that many attempts were because we "should" quit smoking.  When we finally decide we actually want to, it becomes possible.    You only have to decide you're not going to smoke for today.   Then you can build on that success one day at a time.    It's not easy, but the support on this site helped to make it possible.  We're here to support you through the good and bad times.  Just reach out.

Barb

[indingrl]

Welcome and thanks for sharing it was SUGGESTED to ME - go educate YOUR self on YOUR ADDICTION to sucking on death sticks - that was SUGGESTED to ME - 8 YEARS ago - when I was full of ANGRY too - MY husband said to ME - we cannot afford YOUR smoking and pay our rent - YOU gotta QUIT - I said lets live in your truck so I can smoke - HE said NO - I like our apartment - I was ANGRY because - I already HAD TO QUIT - MY other addictions - - kissing people's butts and living their lives so they would like me - November 6, 1986 - went to Alanon a support group - because I am addicted to people approval - THEN May 22 1987 -quit alcohol or die - I NEEDED GOD TO HELP ME - I accepted Jesus as MY Saviour and Lord on November 6 1986 with Rev Robert H. Schueller from hour of power - He is with Jesus now in heaven - then in August of  2005 - quit JUNK food and chocolate or lose MY gallbladder - God healed ME and I had to learn to eat HEALTHY- fyi I still have MY gallbladder and on October 2010 -  quit smoking or be homeless- JESUS gave ME a cold turkey quit on January 6 2011 - and I been coming here ever since October 28 2010 reading the blogs -  so YOU are NOT ALONE in YOUR dance with ANGER and get READY YOUR gonna have alot of ANGRY EMOTIONS- all twisted and mixed up - like a tornado - it was SUGGESTED to ME go READ - the FREE book at whyquit.com by Joel - it is titled - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER - and to watch some of the EARLY death vidoes family share for FREE in HOPE that ACTIVE ADDICTS sucking on death sticks will CHOOSE life- Byron's video woke ME up out of MY denial - I stopped lieing to MYSELF - I am a NICOTINE ADDICT RECOVERING -  ONE day at a time with ALL the love family here WHO keep ME - learning and growing and healing by taking - SUGGESTIONS- please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you   - it is NOT easy - YES YOUR angry - YOU have to learn for YOUR self - A NEW MINDSET - NEW BEHAVIORS - NEW IDEAS - by trying what's SUGGESTED -  BY STRANGERS HERE - AND IT IS ALL ON YOU - YOUR PISSED OFF CUZ it is TIME to deal with YOUR insides and be responsible for YOUR choices NOW with YOUR sick lungs - it will NOT happen over night and YOU get to CHOOSE reading blogs here on how PEOPLE stay a non smoker living with sick lungs and coping with choosing NOT to suck on DEATH sticks - so EDUCATION is the key with YOUR willingness to read read read -  ask question - and ask YOUR self -  how bad do I want a NEW MINDSET to live as a NON SMOKER - am I willing to accept HELP offered freely in love from THOSE here who are STAYING non smokers NO MATTER WHAT life on life's terms throws at YOU   - YOU to say to YOUR self - NOT ONE PUFF OVER MY ANGER - I choose to BREATHE and at this moment go and blog AGAIN - telling the GOOD NEWS - I have ONE HOUR AS A ANGRY  NON  SMOKER - or blog - I have 5 minutes as a ANGRY NON SMOKER HELP ME- give us TIME to answer - WE - TOGETHER - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF EVER - N.O.P.E - NotOnePuffEver - Yahooooooo - that's a NEW SUGGESTIONS - one DAY at a time - break YOUR day down to MOMENTS - taken by one BREATHE -  one second - one minute - GO FOR IT - I believe YOUR worth loving and living as a NEW non smoker - gentle hug 

[Roj]

This was an incredible share and just what I needed this morning...thank you