A Better Life

[tanya4]

Okay, so I've tried to quit in the past. And failed. Many times.
They say that you have to do it for yourself, and the if you're really trying to quit for someone else, it won't work.
My problem with that is that I really don't care about myself as much as I do those around me.
So this time I'm quitting for my son.
We're alone down here, and only having each other is affecting me in different ways than I anticipated.
Now that the logistical reality has concreted, I find myself focusing on the enjoyable parts of life.
We're big into outdoor activities like hiking and camping. He's earned his Arrow of Light Award from Cub Scouts and is now in Boy Scouts. And now, I'm an assistant leader.
So now I'm feeling guilty.
History: My health was really poor for the last 2 years. I've finally gotten a diagnosis and am on medication and am almost back to my old self. I LOVE enjoying time with my son again.
Back to the guilty thing: I no longer have the sense of hopelessness that I didn't realize at the time I was harboring.
Now I feel guilty because the only thing standing between me and my son's adventures is my smoking.
So at this point, I realize how ludicrous it is to be smoking in the first place, and I'm royally ticked at myself for not being successful at quitting in the past.
And I'm scared. What if I don't succeed this time? what if I can't keep up on the hikes? What if I let him down.
But I will cross each of those bridges if I come to them.
In the meantime, tomorrow will be my first smoke-free day. Any support and advice is readily welcome here!
I look forward to being able to talk with other people going through the same thing - I don't really have anyone in my life that I can call up who understands what this is going to be like.

[SaraSmile]

Hi Tonya!
This quitting thing, to me anyway, is all about choices. You've already made one GREAT choice by coming here! Don't look at the big picture yet. Look at the small accomplishments you make like, seeing how long between cigarettes you can go....or....I drove the car to the store and left my smokes at home! To me, that was a BIG thing! It's hard but it is
DO-ABLE! The support I get here is one of the reasons I can say, I quit smoking, 40 days ago! Support, understanding and old fashion kicks in the butt (when needed) is exactly what you can expect from this moment on when you come here! Be strong, strength is the key!
Sara

[carlie]

SOOOO - You haven't been successfil on the past. A lot of us were't !! Heck, girl - I'm 57, and smoked for 42 years. I can't count anymore, how many times I tried to quit - and failed. That's not important anymore....that's the past; I leave it there, where it belongs !!!

You're scared...that's normal...really !!! You ask: "What if you don't succeed this time ???" WELL - - what if you DO ??
Tell yourself you WILL - and think of all those hikes you will enjoy with your son !!!

Have you ever attempted to quit smoking with this program...and all of US ?? THAT, my dear, is going to be the difference !! All of us are here to help you succeed in your quit......if you let us !!!!

[sophie4]

I just joined this website today and I think you should give yourself a big pat on the back for coming here in the first place and making an attempt to end this addiction. I am somewhat in the same boat where even though my health has been bad, it is not what is motivating me to want to quit. I think though if you have SOMETHING to make you want to quit, it's better than nothing.
I've failed 5 times this past year when trying to quit but I'm trying not to be so hard on myself because each time you try to quit and fail, you learn what didn't work for you so that way you can rearrange your plan when trying to quit. I know many people have failed several times before quitting but they didn't let that stop them.
I agree with Tonya that you should look at the little accomplishments you have done so far. Instead of having a cigarette immediately after eating or waking up, I wait 5 minutes, then the next day I'll try to wait 10 minutes. That way you aren't completely cutting yourself off but you start to see that you CAN do it.
Since I am new to this site I can't really give much personal experience but I think having support and coming here to talk and figure out a new plan will be VERY helpful. Good luck and stay positive! You're already in the right direction!

[suzzy12345]

You need to quit for you!

[jen-x]

The average amount of times people quit is seven. Don't quit, quitting. I feel like I'm restarting my quit nearly everyday.

[jennie3]

Tanya you can do this we will help you every step of the way stay strong and positive!

[aloha-lady]

Good for you for quitting... I think whatever your reason, whatever motivates you to make a sound personal decision is just great! One bit of advice I can give you is to not think about "what if" you don't make it. Just worry about today. Each morning just tell yourself you won't smoke today and tomorrow you'll reevaluate. Then when tomorrow becomes today you do the same thing until you are sound in your decision. As the days go by you will feel so proud and much healthier and the support from your family and friends (and yourself) will make you not want that smoke today, tomorrow or ever. Also, remember that anything you can do with a cigarette... can be done without one... or everyone would smoke. Just stay strong and count your blessings that you have a beautiful son and a loving community to provide you support. Just take it one day at a time and keep in mind most relapses happen because someone took just one puff or had just one smoke. Please know that to stay quit we need to never take another puff.... but that the only thing that matters is what you do today. 🙂

[SaraSmile]

I LOVE that comment, Jennie, it says it ALL!