6 Months and I'm Just Now Craving Badly. Danger!

[Throwbvibe]

Hi 

I'm a newbie.  I quit on Feb 5 cold Turkey after 19 years of smoking an average of half a pack a day.  This was honestly a pretty pain free quit.  I think being in a different city with family helped.  I also started on a low dosage antidepressant for my anxiety/ depression issues.  Its helped.  What also helped my quit was this bout of hypochondria I had right around my quit.  I've worked through that in the past few months.

My surroundings haven't changed but these past 2 weeks i've had serious craves! I'm also getting very depressed about the idea of never smoking.  The thought of everything i used to enjoy feels boring and meaningless without it. I used to love playing poker; having a drink with friends; playing pool etc.  When I return to my hometown I cant picture doing any of those things without smoking. The thought of it depresses me and makes me anxious . I've began to rationalize a few cigs pr returning to Hookahs which I smoked when I quit cigs fot a few years.  The scary part is I'm even rationalizing just becoming a life long smoker - "we gotta die somehow!"  Yeah I'm at that level of denial. 

Please help. This feels like torture. I'm 6 months in and I now feel like its day 2!

[sweetplt]

No more to add...you have received a lot of great information...I hope you didn’t smoke...Happy Friday ~ Colleen 249 DOF 

[elvan]

You are sadly, romancing the cigarette and it doesn't deserve it.  I understand since I have been there and have lost quits thinking I could have "just one."  You are listening to your addiction and it is thrilled at the thought of having you back.  Life doesn't stop because we don't smoke, things are not less fun because we don't smoke...continuing to smoke can make life stop much sooner than it should and let me tell you that it is no fun having a smoking related illness like COPD.  You should be coming here every day, twice a day when you can...reading blogs, looking for support and giving support to others.  This journey is an amazing journey as long as you allow it to be and you keep your quit in today when you need to.  Don't allow your memories to destroy your quit, it's entirely possible that some of your friends may have quit and those who haven't, don't GET to smoke, they HAVE to smoke.  I have been smoke free for over 5 1/2 years and my only regret is that I did not quit sooner.  Now, my life is impacted by my shortness of breath, my overwhelming fatigue, my embarrassment over doing this to myself.  

Stay close, LISTEN to people here and not your addiction.

Ellen

[Throwbvibe]

You're right, I am.  I'm trying to self talk out of romanticizing.  Its difficult.   I do know that I can't just have one.  I'll be back at half a pack, prolly for years to come.   I told myself I'd quit before I turned 40.  I really don't want to break that pledge and regret it.  I'm sorry you're dealing with health issues and appreciate all the support the members seem to offer here.   I'll definitely utilize it. I'm glad I found it ! 

How did you avoid the pitfalls during your final quit?

[elvan]

I avoided the pitfalls by coming here every morning and every evening and by reading blogs and seeing what worked for others.  I knew I could not keep smoking unless I wanted to expect my family to watch me die.  I may still die of a smoking related illness but I am no longer contributing to it.  I will do everything I can to take care of myself and to live my life to its fullest by NOT smoking.

I know you can do this.  On my ten month anniversary of my quit, my house burned down and my husband and I lost everything, including  our three beloved cats, I cry every single time I think of that day.  I was at work when the fire started, I came home when I was called, I stood outside as the windows exploded out of the house and the flames broke through the roof.  I NEVER considered smoking, I KNEW it would not change anything, I knew it had never done anything for me.  I had known that for a while.  You CAN do this and you can show others HOW it is done.

Best,

Ellen

[Throwbvibe]

Amazing, you're inspiring.  So sorry about your fur babies! I lost my 17 year old Maltese 4 months into my quit.  I haven't cried so much in a long time.   I keep his urn close by.  I didn't consider smoking and i'm so glad it was before these cravings. 

I will certainly heed your advice and really use this resource.  I need it!! 

[Barbscloud]

Glad you came here to express your feelings.  It really does help.  While your going through this stage, stay close and use the support that's here.  Sorry for the loss of your dog.  I also lost a dog into my quit.  I didn't know if I'd would be able to keep my quit when that happened, but I did and so did you.   That takes a real commitment.   So there''s no reason to go back now. 

Barb

[Throwbvibe]

Just checking to say i'm still craving but i'm still QUIT! It isnt easy but trying to stay positive.  Thank you guys!

[elvan]

CONGRATULATIONS you are doing great.  I know that it is not always easy to stay positive but I try to remember that it takes much more energy to be negative.  Celebrate your success, we all want you to succeed and we are all here for you.

Ellen

[sweetplt]

So happy you are still Quit....keep busy and keep that quit...it will get better Throwbvibe 

~ Colleen 261 DOF