6 Months and I'm Just Now Craving Badly. Danger!

[Throwbvibe]

Hi 

I'm a newbie.  I quit on Feb 5 cold Turkey after 19 years of smoking an average of half a pack a day.  This was honestly a pretty pain free quit.  I think being in a different city with family helped.  I also started on a low dosage antidepressant for my anxiety/ depression issues.  Its helped.  What also helped my quit was this bout of hypochondria I had right around my quit.  I've worked through that in the past few months.

My surroundings haven't changed but these past 2 weeks i've had serious craves! I'm also getting very depressed about the idea of never smoking.  The thought of everything i used to enjoy feels boring and meaningless without it. I used to love playing poker; having a drink with friends; playing pool etc.  When I return to my hometown I cant picture doing any of those things without smoking. The thought of it depresses me and makes me anxious . I've began to rationalize a few cigs pr returning to Hookahs which I smoked when I quit cigs fot a few years.  The scary part is I'm even rationalizing just becoming a life long smoker - "we gotta die somehow!"  Yeah I'm at that level of denial. 

Please help. This feels like torture. I'm 6 months in and I now feel like its day 2!

[marciem]

Yes, what you seek is comfort, and your old way was to smoke and turn on the dopramine.  Exercise can give you that, and deep breathing can be soothing.  (I can't exercise much [thanks to my past smoking] but deep breathing is my go-to stress reliever, even now).  There is oodles of information out there to help you find comforters that won't kill you.  And guess what?  That happy comfy smoker that used to be in you has left the building, and a smoke now wouldn't comfort you, it would demean you and make you sad and angry at yourself and taste purely AWFUL.

[Gwenivere]

I could have written this myself.  You decribed so accurately how I feel at 9 months.  My anxiety and depression have also increased.  Some are other stressors, but a lot is the finality of it all.  I’m sorry you are feeling so bad, but you aren’t alone.  I thought by now I’d have some positive post, but I don’t.  I liked smoking and giving up messed me up physically as well.  I’m not romanticizing them, had them good times and bad, just were a part of me.  If I hadn’t had to quit I wouldn’t have.  Just glad there are places like this I can express that and not be judged.  Just look at the support that has poured out to you.  Amazing people.

[Throwbvibe]

Thank you for that reply.  I think not really struggling the first 5 mos of my quit makes this more jarring.  I feel kind of ill equipped.  Very thankful I found this site. I'd even called a 1800 help line last week for an intervention.  Lol so pathetic. 

I hope these feelings get better, for the both of us!

[PrimeNumberJD]

I don't think threat is pathetic, I believe you did what you needed to do to keep your quit, kudos for doing what it takes!

[marciem]

Hi there!!  You were blessed to have had an easy time in your early quit.  Just remember... quitting smoking is NOT an event, it is a process... a lifelong process.  It sounds like you're having your hard time now instead of earlier, but these are not physical craves, they are mental games your addict-brain is playing with you.   Why it is happening at six months I couldn't say, other than that we are all different.  I can say that it is temporary and you won't always feel this way or have these thoughts.  You may be doing what we call "romancing the cigarette", remembering it better than it really was (like that old toxic relationship than ended ... there were good times, and at moments you wonder why it broke up, and maybe you should call?  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)

You CAN have fun without smoking.  You will be able to have more fun without smoking.  You won't have to step out of a bar or restaurant or pool hall or house or public place to smoke.  I don't know about hookah places, IMO hookah is smoking and will reintroduce you to your addictive substance of choice, so stay away from those. 

The feelings and thoughts that you're having are NOT calls to action.  Feelings and thoughts won't kill you.  Smoking will.   So distract your mind, tell them "NOPE I don't do that anymore", and move on.  Don't dwell on them, that's just asking for trouble.  It will definitely subside and get better.  Promise !  (I can promise because I have been there, and if it didn't get better I'd be back to smoking by now   )

Best to you going forward!

[Throwbvibe]

That was very helpful and comforting, thank you!

Yeah I dont think hookah is an option either.  I know plenty of "nonsmokers" who hookah socially but they weren't addicted to cigs like I am.  I know it'll just be a placeholder for a full relapse anyway.

Having fun without cigs? Sounds so foreign! I think I may need new hobbies for a while when I return to my hometown? My local bar allowed indoor smoking as did the pool hall.  Too many memories linked to cigs.

I also have 2 friends who are smokers and our time involved smoking infused activities.   I cant see being around them while experiencing these feelings.  

What's funny about smoking is that it gave me this comforted, confident feeling when I lit up.  I can't describe it.  I know it was probably just the feeling of relieving addiction that Alan Carr describes but i'll be damned if it didn't feel very real.   When I had a pressing problem and lit up, i felt like it'll be ok - i can figure it out.   When i was lonely and lit up, i felt not so alone.  When I was nervous and lit up, I felt like I was breathing out relief.  It seemed to make a drink taste better and a conversation seem more interesting.  That's what I fear never feeling or having in my life. 

I know i'm romanticizing the addiction.  I'm just struggling to reframe and stop even though I know the truth.   What a convoluted and insidious thing it is, addiction. 

[marciem]

You know, at six months, you should be able to venture to smoking areas... as long as you have a PLAN and an escape.  Plan what you will do instead of smoke, while you enjoy your friends.  Lollipops, twizzlers, straws, worry beads if you start feeling anxious.  Practice ahead of time if need be.  While there, if your feelings become overwhelming, plan your escape.  Enlist your friends to help you not smoke.  If they are real friends, they will be proud of you and not try to undermine your quit.  But don't be afraid to say "Night all" if you feel like your only option is to smoke or explode.

There really is life and fun without smoking.  Work on your mindset and believe!   .  But do have a plan, that always helps.

[Throwbvibe]

I think that because i've been out of town, around all non smokers my entire quit, AND didn't xperience any terrible craves the first 5.5 months, i'm now at a newbie level of mental vulnerability. The idea of being in the places where I smoked with my smoker friends just gave me a bit of a panicky jolt! Lol But I completely agree that hiding just reinforces the fear and addiction.

[PrimeNumberJD]

1. Great job coming here instead of caving. 

2. Perhaps your craving it's that you feel you are missing out on something, you are not, the smokers around you envy that you are not smoking (Allen Carr)

3. Keep your quit, if you smoke, you'll just become angry with yourself!

[Throwbvibe]

Thank you.  I still have my pdf of allen carr from my old quit.  I should read it again for a refresher.