This is officially Day 3 but actually coming up on completing Day 4. For reasons unknown, Thursday, Friday and Saturday were easier than today. I awoke earlier than my usual 5:00AM, wanting a smoke and wanted a smoke with some frequency all day long. Started with a hike this morning followed by a long bike ride but when I returned home middle of the day, urges came with me. What happened though is I took a four hour nap, just checked out and am now up and about at 6:30PM attending to chores.
For the first time urge went beyond fleeting moments and I had rationalizations about how buying a pack would be a good thing. I did not do it, nor will I do it but my hope for tomorrow is that it is not as difficult as today. I am going to grind it out. My flight to another world is Thursday and I will be in even more remote country for two months. I'm telling myself it will be easier then, but that sounds like a version of "you can run and you can hide", neither of which I believe.
I met a guy on my bike ride this morning, he had two very friendly dogs. I told him I had just read that some researchers are proposing that very friendly dogs, (most) have a gene mutation that also occurs in humans but in humans it is considered a defect, a disease of sorts. He laughed out loud and then told me that he was the new government psychiatrist on island. We went on to discuss the very serious untreated mental diseases here and I parted company not feeling so crazy myself for just lusting for a Marlboro!
