dear strawberry milkshake lavas,
i reach for you when i’m anxious or stressed, yet, somehow, you seem to make it worse. i switched from one type of addiction to another, trading sobriety from alcohol and drugs for you. at first, you seemed appealing and like you would help me get out of my troubled mind. however, more recently, i’ve noticed that you cause me to lose my breath faster.
i love to sing and you’ve ruined my breath control. i love to go for daily walks, but now you’ve made my asthma symptoms (which were almost completely in remission) return as i try to exercise for my mental health. you have increased my cholesterol & cortisol levels, much to the alarm of the many doctors i see for my multiple chronic illnesses.
i realize now that you have not done anything to help me and have actually made things worse. my health should be a top priority instead of, once again, using a substance to try to “fix” my mental illnesses.
i want to dance with my fellow sober friends in the club without feeling out of breath. i want to wake up in the morning with the capacity to speak normally right away instead of fighting through the phlegm (ew). i want to do whatever i can to stay sober from drugs and alcohol. i have been sober for 3 years, but i feel myself having cravings now when i pick you up.
i will no longer let you control my life. my sponsor always asks me “how free do you want to be?” and, right now, that answer is “100% free”, which i know i can only achieve by quitting you.
no longer yours,
valen
