This past weekend we received a call that a young relative was in critical condition. This would normally have been a big trigger. So would the death that was only a day later; flying, funeral, time spent with a relative who had been a smoking buddy for years; surrounded by smokers at times, and many other triggers. I got through them fine most of the time. I even noticed I didn't like being around the smoke. Wednesday was 23 weeks for me. I thought wow, I must have passed some point! It's getting easier! It must be all downhill now! Suddenly today, though, after a bad flying day and some other triggers, I experienced such a strong desire for a cigarette I couldn't believe it.
I don't know if it was due to an unconscious build up from triggers, and today became a last straw situation. That wouldn't make sense, I'm thinking, because most of the normal trigger situations were not really too bad. The desire reminded me of the first week! I was sailing along okay all week, then today was boom!
I didn't smoke, though it was the closest I came to fearing that I would since the first week or two. I asked my husband to read to me my list of reasons, and some inspirational thoughts while I drove home. Wasn't expecting this!
