I'm always complaining that I don't have time... for (fill in the blank).
I don't have time BECAUSE... and it's easy to find someone/somewhere to place the blame. I was (unfortunately) taught to do this, instead of taking responsibility for my body, my emotions and my SELF. It was part of the "how" in how I was abused.
That was then; this is now. Now I'm better educated, more experienced, and very responsible - and that includes responsible for myself. I don't have to be responsible for anyone else BUT myself... and lo & behold... there's all that "time" that I thought I didn't have.
Not just time, either. The ability to trust myself, make commitments to myself, the ability to choose my own thoughts, emotions & behaviors. Every minute of the day.
For a friend of mine, his time ran out on Sunday. The throat cancer had spread to his brain and finally, it just stopped him and his body - even after years of medical treatment & experimental drugs. Yes, he was a smoker. A few months older than myself. All the things that he was BESIDES the cancer or the smoking... gone... because he couldn't find his way to having the "time" to quit, soon enough. He didn't have the chance to learn, what I've just learned...
that no matter what we've endured in our lives - we owe it to ourselves to BE ourselves as completely, honestly & healthily... as possible. Without our selves - we don't experience very much at all. And it's possible to "un-do" any habit that we adopted - for any reason. Before it undoes us.
