the smokers in life

[ajalder20t]

just wondered if anyone else has really had this experience.

i am starting to notice that a good majority of the folks i used to stand and smoke with kind of resent me. or something like that. I am over two months in a doing great with the quit but occasionally i feel like i haven't talked to the people i used to smoke with in a while.....reason being, the only time we had enought time to have a conversation versus just work related conversations as needed was when we smoking, so... being confident in my quit i go and stand with the smokers while they are smoking, and out of the smoke in the wind, and try to talk to them.

half a dozen times in the last week or so, i have gone out to talk with smoking friends, and someone in the pack makes a comment like "oh yeah, you QUIT" (and it sounds like they are saying I FAILED at smoking, anger in their voice) and at this point i chime in with something like, "yeah, and if you ever want to quit, you should try www.becomeanex.org I found the people on there really helpful, and they have some coaching tools for you to use to figure out how you should quit, and I went on www.whyquit.com, which was also helpful for me becasue I did do a cold turkey quit, but both websites are awesome.........yatta yatta"

the latest comment i got (regarding me saying that the guy who came up with whyquit has been doing smoking cessation since like the seventies or something) was "Yeah, he goes out and charges people to keep them from smoking then he goes home and smokes"

i got agitated at this one (mind you this is not the only comment i have had said to me like this) and said "You know you can be hateful about it if you want to but what I am trying to do here is not preach at you about quitting smoking because ultimately it is YOUR choice but i AM trying to share with you what I found that really helped me to quit. If you don't want to hear about it then you don't have to listen."

He kinda shut up on that one.......

anyone else experience hateful smokers??? (mind you, I was NOT the one in the group who initiated a conversation about quitting, a SMOKER was.....)

[Ex_Nancy]

First, CONGRATS on almost 2 moths quit.!!!  And as far as your friends that smoke, keep this in mind...they want to quit too but they don't know how OR they are AFRAID to quit...so you are a "threat" to them (in a convoluted way)...if you really need to speak to your friends at work, steer the conversation away from smoking so they won't get defensive....and Merry smokefree Christmad to YOU!!!

[family-first]

Saw someone that I have not seen in a long time...mentioned that I had quit... they seemed disappointed. I know what ya mean! Time for new friends....;)

[jojo29]

they are the wanna bees,but cant be so u just keep going strong and they will will learn from watching you, trust me, they are watching, wishing they can do it, u ever hear the saying misery luvs company 🙂

well not all smokers are like that eaither, some can be alittle uncomftable smoking in ur company knowing you quit too. congrats on ur 2 months keep it going you seem to have a strong attitude and that can make ur quit even better ..a 40 yr smoker. smokefree 410 days 🙂

[misty_dawn]

lol...you are some kind of 'quit smoking' super hero to them right now is all.  They're still busy defending their choice to smoke.  Once they figure out you're basically the same person but happier, it will get better.  🙂  Great quit you have going!

[Yaya2.6.10]

Yeah, you make your buds uncomfortable cuz they would like to Quit and you are a constant reminder that others are doing a Quit.  Ignore the subject of your Quit in their presence and don't bring it up.  If the hateful person brings it up, think of a reason to leave even if you run to the bathroom. 

[joy36]

I've had the same, sad, but, true. But, you can make new friend's with other non smoker's. I too, have been surprized at the people I know that smoke, and want to quit, I tell them I know of an awesome place that helped me to quit, so much support, friend's, etc. They don't even ask where it is, so I've learned to stop right there. Everyone has to choose the time for their quit. You can't talk someone into quitting. They have to really want to. It doesn't bother me to be around my friend's that smoke, and I don't bring up that I have quit, if someone does, I just say, yeah, and go back to talking about what we were. I try not to make a big deal about it, unless someone is asking me how to quit, then, I'm all over the place, excited for them and so happy to hope I will have a small part in helping them quit. We are all proud of your quit ! YOU ARE AWESOME !!!! Joy, AKA Grammi

[BobbyMaynard]

You must remember that smokers are in a very tight closed society and you are either in or you are out. Even though you were a smoker you no longer share all those things that active smokers share. They will not admit it but they all share a misery and a fear and a knowledge that they are slaves to an addiction. To be around other smokers helps a smoker feel better about the situation they are in. They look at Johnny and think well Johnny smokes and he's a good guy so I am not so bad. You are a constant reminder to them that they are trapped, and out of control. You are also the worst kind of non smoker, you are and ex smoker and that is a constant slap in the face. I know that they are your work buddies but you may want to stay out of the smoke hole for a while. Hopeful some of them will be inspired by what you have done and decide to quit themselves. Protect your quit.

Bobby

[ajalder20t]

i agree with your advice ...to a degree...because i am stubborn like that. I understand that some people may not want to talk about my quit but that is why I don't bring the topic up, unfortunately Iguess at times I may just have to deal with the cynical jerks because, if someone starts a conversation with me about my quit then I am going to have that conversation with them whether guy #3 likes it or not. I fully support anyone's quit, and I feel I am being courteous enough and not mentioning my quit, but have decided not to ignore when someone else wants to talk about my quit.

So, may I bear the brunt of the fury of the smoker who dislikes me talking about my quit when asked so that I may encourage emphatically the efforts of any other to quit as well. And with pleasure.