starting..again

[nomore54]

I was doing so good. Seperating was going good. Took a weekend trip to see my stepgranddaughter, stayed at her house WITH my husbands ex wife! Lots of drama but still made one pack last from Thursday to Sunday. Then we came home. Had to drop him off at his truck 2 hours from home and the last hour before he got so crabby and has continued to be. He has ADHD and when he gets in these ruts it's awful. No support, continual belittling. I'm not meaning to use him as an excuse, I need to find away to change my reaction. I get bad depression when I try to quit. How do you keep trying when your motivation is gone and you cry all the time? If I tell him my progress he says things like so you're still smoking. Any ideas?

[LesleyON]

The hardest part of quitting for me has been dealing with aggravating situations.  I take a deep breath, remove myself from the situation-either mentally or physically, and if I get a strong urge to smoke, I use the nicotene gum.  That has worked for me so far.  It is hard to not have support from your loved one, and worse to deal with belittling.  You have to find a way to mentally remove yourself from it while it is happening.  Don't participate in it.  If you can physically remove yourself then do that.  Good luck and keep trying.  Smoking does nothing to help you deal with it anyway-its just as bad when you smoke if you're upset-it doesn't stop the emotions you're having:) If depression is an issue maybe talk to your doctor about what you can do for that. And cutting down is good.  It will be easier when you actually quit.  I did that too and since I wasn't in the habit of constantly smoking, I didn't miss it as much.  Its a crutch that no one really needs!

[indingrl]

Thanks for sharing no more♥ they SUGGESTED when i came here to EDUCATE MYSELF ABOUT MY NICOTINE ADDICTION♥ so i read the blogs here and notes from this site and also they suggest i watch videos at whyquit.com with Joel who has been working with nicotine addicts for over 33 years and i watch a video of Bryons called early death video and it brought ME OUT OF MY DENIAL ABOUT USING NICOTINE TO COPE WITH LIFE ON LIFES TERMS♥ i got down on my knees i ask Jesus to take away my nicotine addiction because i have tried to quit and wont and if he doesnt i will smoke them until i drop dead and he gave me a COLD TURKEY QUIT jan 6th 2011♥ i STAYED ON THIS SITE 24-7 AND READ AND VENTED BLOGS AND READ AND DID WHAT THEY SUGGESTED FOR ME TO DO♥AT 3 MONTHS MY BROTHER IN LOVE WAS KILLED BY A DRUNK IN TENN AND I WAS ASKED TO SPEAK AT WAKE AND GRAVESITE AND I CAME HERE FIRST TO ASK HOW TO TRAVEL WITHOUT SMOKING AND THEY SHARED AND IT WAS POSSIBLE TO TRAVEL AND COPE WITH LIFE ON LIFES TERMS WITHOUT USING NICOTINE♥FOR ME IT IS BECAUSE I ASK JESUS TO BE MY SAVIOR IN 1986 BORN AGAIN AND SMOKED FOR 38 YEARS AND DID NOT WANT TO QUIT!!! MY HUSBAND SAID WE CANNOT AFFORD TO PAY RENT AND PAY FOR YOUR CIGS♥ I SAID LETS LIVE IN THE BLAZER SO I CAN SMOKE♥ WE LAUGHED AND I CRIED CUZ I KNEW IT WAS TIME♥ I TRIED TO QUIT SINCE 1988 AND FAIL AND TRIED♥ I KEPT TRYING AND FAILING AND I FINALLY SURRENDER TO MY SAVIOR AND LORD JESUS♥READ THE GOSPEL OF JOHN FOR YOURSELF♥THAT IS WHAT WAS SAID TO ME♥SO PLEASE TAKE WHAT YOU LIKE AND LEAVE THE REST TO BE HELPFUL IS MY ONLY AIM♥HANG IN THERE AND I LIVED ON THIS SITE FOR THE FIRST 90 DAYS♥KEEP ON KEEPING ON BLOG BLOG BLOG♥HUGS AND SMOOCHES TO YOU NOMORE IN JESUS NAME AMEN AND AMEN♥

[Strudel]

Welcome to the site! Cutting back didn't work for me - I decided I either smoked or I quit. So - I quit!  I did the prep work here (check out the free course at - http://quitsmokingonline.com/ and Carr's "Easy Way to Stop Smoking" -

  

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

It sounds like you have a very challenging situation with your husband. However, smoking doesn't change that. By doing the reading, I found out that I only THOUGHT that smoking was helping me deal with challenges. 

Youmcan do this! Read and stick around! 

[Giulia]

How do you stay motivated?  You keep coming here.  Every day.  You read the blogs.  You see how others are struggling but succeeding.  You write blogs.  You get feedback.  It gives you hope and encouragement.  And yes, you need to change your reaction to him and his belittling.  HA!  Much easier said than done.

But I can tell you this - your quit can become the most precious and uplifting  thing in your life. Just like smoking was the one thing we thought was all ours that nobody could take away, the same is true on the opposite side of that coin.  I cling as fiercely now to my quit as I did to my smoking.  In a sense I have become a quit addict.  Hmmm, food for a possible future blog - thank you.

Motivation has to come from within you.  It can't be based upon your husband's approval or disapproval.  This is YOUR choice alone.  Because it's YOUR journey.  Heck we all get depressed when we quit.  We're "giving up" our "best friend," right?  Oh, how wrong we were.  That's why we keep talking about education here.  We learn that we aren't "giving up" anything - except an addiction and a bad psychological habit.  We learn that a cigarette was never a 'friend."  It was simply a need due to addiction.

Keep reading.  Keep at it.  And keep clinging to that better part of you that knows freedom is the best choice of all.  Above all - keep persevering.  Because that’s what makes ultimate winners in life

[lois2]

make up your mind and get her DONE welcome nomore.

[linda.mustafa]

I honestly can't add anything more from what's already been said , except remember that in order for you to quit , you must be willing and determined to do so!

Make a decision to quit and honour it .

[elvan]

Education, preparation, coming to the site every single day, reading blogs, writing blogs when you feel like it, connecting with people...and exercise.  Exercise releases dopamine and it helps with depression and with the craves for cigarettes.  You don't have to run a marathon the first day or EVER, just do something that constitutes regular exercise and that doesn't include housework, it means walking or biking or lifting weights...something that you are doing JUST for you.

As far as your husband, I am sorry.   My husband is also ADD and used to say things to belittle me, that's over, he's in such a funk himself that he couldn't say anything negative to me to save his own life.  I hope your husband is getting help in the form of medication, it really does help when you find the right fit.

Please stay close to the site...read and read and read and don't give up. Go to jonescarp's page and read what to expect and PLAN for it!!!

[nomore54]

Thank you so much everyone! I joined about a month ago and had the 4th as my quit date but changed it recently as I kept messing up. Decided I needed to back up a step and redo the seperating. This program is the best I've tried yet. Honestly I would post and nothing happened. Just figured out how to blog yesterday? It made me feel so much better just to see people were talking to me! I'm pretty challenged in technology. Backing up a step I found some habits that had crept up on me so all in all it was a good thing. indingrl, I too am born again. I've been a Christian all my life, thought I had accepted Christ as my Savior but in the last few years let the Holy Spirit in and it made such a big difference. Several years ago thanks to the Lord we quit drinking. Would not have got it done without Him. I ask for His help and He sure was on it when we stayed in the same house with the x wife and all the drinking. My daughter and I are going on a color run this Saturday. That will be the kick start of our exercise program. Her youngest has decided to join us and her older sister. The little one is getting quite heavy so I asked her to "help" me and her mom and she agreed. There's my motivation. This is getting long so better stop. Again thanks and now I know how to do this I will be here a lot!

[joyeuxencore]

Welcome to the community and congratulations on the decision to take your life back. Do the suggested reading and stick close to the site! xo