shes only important in her own eyes

[JonesCarpeDiem]

you said you were leaving but you are such a big liar aren't you?

this is why you smoked.

You can't see that it was your choice.

You put it in your hand

You lit it up and you smoked it.

and now you blame everyone else for your failure because we don't agree with you.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

yes you should put your head.

right back up your slimy >>>

and the only coverage you are getting is your own blogs which

does nothing to help people who really want help.

[sunny_sandyd]

why are ya'll being so ugly?

[JonesCarpeDiem]

and you gave yourself permission to smoke.

You chose it.

nothing about hell or anything else.

Give yourself permission once and it most likely will happen again.

Is that too hard for you to grasp?

You don't listen, all you want to do is be nasty.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I don't want you to smoke.

I don't want you to fail.

I think you should just leave perhaps without the dignity you possibly arrived with.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

No.

I'd never sing for you.

I'd throw up all over you though if you'd come a little closer

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Now I'm Happy!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I never called you bitch.

You keep saying that and it was never true.

You told your mom that.

You told everyone that,

but it isn't true and you know it.

go back through your emails and read them.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

it wasn't a curse word

it was loser with a self broken counter

[JonesCarpeDiem]

and everything I told you about yourself in those private emails has been proven by you these last two days.

[AutumnWoman]

Rutledge, I grew up un a house where people could out-cuss sailors, so I'm not afraid to use cuss words.  I just don't think this is the appropriate place.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I said that because you were not being honest with yourself by demanding everyone agree with your idea of quitting.

If you act as a social worker as you act here, yes you will be a bad social worker and people will see right through you.

you've gone off the deep end over and over.

no ones out to get you

but

no one wants to take any more shit from you either.

you've allowed the worst possible side of you to show and that is very sad.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

hey,

I'm glad you know everything. I can't say I knew everything now about the course of my life at your age.

When I was your age, I sat back and took stock of everyone I'd met in my life and

what we had taught and learned from each other

and I honestly could see the purpose of why I had met each person................

I don't think you are a horrible person, but I think you've acted horribly.

and I think most everyone else might too from the disturbance you've created.

Its all been very selfish, childish and all based upon your misinterpretations.

now that must be some kind of learning experience for everyone here.

Its very sad.

[mamadeb]

Please stop...

[AutumnWoman]

Well, I missed yesterday, but along the way I read about your 12 days minus 10 minutes, or whatever you want to call it.  Before this quit started for me, I had  a few relapses and I reset my counter when they happened.  I think people were upset with you because resetting the clock is a community custom.  It demonstrates integrity in the quit, honest realization that we can't have just one, that eventually it's going to lead back to smoking.  Also, what does it tell me as somebody who hasn't had a cigarette in  over 19 months if you have one and just keep going?  Counting days is something that as to be done with a loose hand.  Don't value the day count so much that you can't let it go out of fear or pride if you relapse.  Quitting smoking is about so much more than that.  Rutledge you fought so hard for the counter, and you wound up alienating a lot of people here.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

No one is enjoying it as much as you seem to be.

Why is that?

[AutumnWoman]

How could I listen when you delete the blogs and comments?  Anyway, I am speaking out my experience with "just one".  The one I had in 1987 after my pregnancy took me 21 years to get over.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

when you jerk yourself around, thats one thing.

but when you believe its ok for you to have a cigarette and try to convince us of that

you are jerking us around.

that doesn't fly here

[JonesCarpeDiem]

no,

what we were supporting was you truly being honest with yourself.

it has nothing to do with the counter

its a slippery slope quitting is.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

but you need you realize that these different feelings

will go on for probably 4 months

until you really forget you were a smoker.

And you will be be down, and you will be tempted

thats what we are here for, the long haul

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Its always a choice. that part never changes.

but people need help during the crazy times.

thats what we try to give.

I don't feel I could be sucked back into that addiction unless I chose to.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Bye the way,

I really do love helping people overcome this mess we got ourselves into by starting.

I joined a site 2 weeks after I had quit on my own.

I've seen it all in 3 1/2 years.

Every personality, every heartache.

heard every story and excuse ever given at least twice

take it for what it is

[JonesCarpeDiem]

come back if you are down or tempted

no weapons please

[JonesCarpeDiem]

you know i'll just quote Peggy here and say

you can't win um all.

Its understood

[JonesCarpeDiem]

best to you.

your decision is your best support