ooops i slipped again. UGH

[tracy79]

Well, darn,  I slipped again.  but on another note it was just one puff, as i was leaving work and my friend was out there smoking.  we were talking and just watching her hand go back and forth with that smoke was more than i could handle.  (My Bad)  So I asked her for a puff.  well actually i just took the cig from her and took one puff than gave it back, drove all the way home feeling like i just committed murder or something.  The guilt was aweful.  Well time to start again.....God grant me the serinity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference...

[Thomas3.20.2010]

So are you going to reset your clock or are you going to continue to pretend that you have 15 days quit? Addiction is about lying to ourselves - quitting is about being honest with ourselves....

[tracy79]

how do you reset it

besides it was just a puff. lol i know i know  but i don't know how to reset it.\

[SarahP]

It sounds like you let your self fixate a bit, thinking fondly of smoking and feeling that your friend was doing something you "can't" do anymore. Please read through this, see if it helps you think about it in a different way. It's from whyquit.com: 

***********

What happens to some people is that when they are off smoking for a certain time period they start fixating on a cigarette. By that I mean they forget all the bad cigarettes they ever smoked, they forget the ones they smoked without ever really thinking about them even at the time they were being smoked, and they start to remember and focus on one good cigarette. It may be one they smoked 20 years earlier but it was a good one and they now want one again.

It's a common tactic for the ex-smokers to try and tell themselves that they do not really want that "good" cigarette. Well, the problem is, at that moment they really do want it. An internal debate erupts, "I want one, no I don't, one sounds great, no it doesn't, oh just one, not just one!" The problem is that if the ex-smoker's focus is on just "one" cigarette then there is no clear-cut winning side to the debate. The ex-smoker needs to change the internal discussion.

Don't say that you don't want one when you do, rather acknowledge the desire but ask yourself, "Do I want all the other cigarettes that go with it." Then, "do I want the package deal that goes with the others? The expense, social stigma, smell, health effects, possible loss of life. Do I want to go back to smoking, full-fledged, until it cripples and kills me?"

Stated like this it normally is not a back and forth debate. The answer will normally be, "No, I don't want to smoke under these terms," and those are the only terms that a cigarette comes with.

Normally if viewed like this the debate is over almost immediately after being pulled into focus. Again, if the focus is only one, you can drive yourself nuts throughout the entire day. If you focus on the whole package deal, you will walk away from the moment relieved to still be smoke free and sufficiently reinforced to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

[YoungAtHeart]

Tough love time, my dear!  You didn't slip; if you slip, it's an accident.  You made a conscious decision to take that cigarette from your friend, to put it to your lips and to inhale.  You probably should not have stayed with her and talked while she was smoking and you re trying to quit.

You need to put some time and effort into this.  You need to do the suggested reading, and the preparation work.  Until you do, you will probably not be successful.  

All of the information and support you need is here.  I sincerely hope you will take advantage of it.  We want to help you succeed - we really DO.  But you need to do your part, too.

Nancy

[tracy79]

wow.  Never thought of it like that.  You are absolutely right.  Thank you so much. Sometimes  " I "  jjust need a different point of view. 

[tracy79]

kudos nancy.  thank you.  i need a stong dose of tough love sometimes. I am so glad you came along.  I will definitley do my part.  Honestly I thought it was better than a whole smoke.  the one puff  reminded me of why i am quitting.  But then again..... one puff-one cigarette.  one in the same.  and I know this.  thank you

[Brenda_M]

Good for you, Tracy! I am of course, referring to your last comment, and not you smoking! 😉

Yes, this is serious business, so we must take it seriously. No golly-gee, dang it, my bad here...more like, yeah, you did do something bad. We have to get our heads straight. Believe me, I know...I'm a reformed serial quitter. I'm pretty sure I referred to a "slip" in one of my older blogs as an "oopsie." Nope. Not at all.

[tracy79]

ok ok  easy now.  I am trying.  never mind.  easy never got anyone anywhere worth getting to. all I can say is it was a bad choice i truely intend not to make again.  Thanx everyone for the support.  Like nancy said tough love....

[Jordan-11-1-12]

{{{tracy}}}  We use the tough love because we know that you CAN do this. Its a matter of life and death here, and we care way too much to not tell you the truth. One puff has lead many people back to smoking full time.

that being said, and with all the wonderful advice you've gotten above, have a plan for what to do when the craving hits, do not smoke no matter what, and things will get easier, and better. Even one puff wakes up the receptors in your brain, which makes it harder... but I know you can do it, cuz I did. I messed up a quit when I had 24 days!!! But I started over right away, like you're doing, and now I have 75 days. 

It is so worth this beginning struggle!  Hair, skin, teeth, sense of taste, sense of smell, health..... all the wonderful things that I've gained make it more than worth it.   Remember, the crave will go away whether we smoke or not, and you deserve to be free of this addiction!!

[tracy79]

thank you jordan.  you are just so wonderful..  glad were friends.

[Strudel]

Tracy - We have a motto around here - N.O.P.E. - Not One Puff Ever! Write it on some index cards....carry one with you and post some at home. Really!!! Use them to remind yourself that even one puff puts you back into this dreadful addiction! Either the cards- or have it tattooed on your arm!! (Just kidding - use the cards!) 

[tracy79]

N.O.P.E=NOT ONE PUFF EVER.  i LIKE IT AND WILL LIVE BY IT.

thanx strudel

[debora3]

I've quit smoking probably 50 times in the last five years.  Most of those times only lasted a day.  And each time it was the internal debate that Sarah talked about that got me to go and buy another pack.  I wanted the smoker side of me to win that debate each time and it did.  Now I really want the other side to win. 

But you made me laugh when you said you felt like you had committed murder.  Smoking is so not socially acceptable now and I started feeling like I was doing illegal drugs every time I lit up 🙂

Thanks for your honesty Tracy

[tracy79]

debora I know how you feel.  but we just gotta keep on keepin on.  glad I could make you laugh/  At a time like this we all need some good laughter.  best medicine right.  lol  i hope and pray for strength for all of us.